Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019), Dir. J.J. Abrams

if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going

wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that

they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not

a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting

a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed

if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now

young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it

letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

Jeff Goldblum’s priceless reaction to the potential Marvel / Sony split

Don’t confuse my hatred of the hyperwealthy for jealousy over what they have. I don’t want a six figure sports car, or a 40 room mansion, or a gold leaf truffle wagyu steak dinner. I want redistribution of wealth that allows for infrastructural support of all citizens’ basic survival needs.

Hot take

Riz Ahmed as the winter soldier

Man I love learning history because sometimes you learn things that’s not widely known just like how Beethoven’s Fur Elise was actually made for one of his students that he was in love with named Therese. She was a mediocre piano player so he made a melody so easy that even she could play it and impress people (hence the very iconic tune in the beginning) but then he finds out that she was engaged to a different man and so Beethoven basically made the other parts so that she can never play it and if that’s not petty culture then idk what is.