The Thing Is, All My Oc's Aren't At All Cool Looking, They Were All Made From Darker Ideas When I Listen

heyy, hello.

so basically, because summer is upon me, ive gotten in the habit of going to bed at 5 or 6 something in the morning, but hey, at least i get some pretty pictures of the sunrise and the moon, right?? idk if i’ll link the photos, but I might.

theres a lot of things that scare me in this world, but i'd like to think that as of late, i've been working twards a better life, a slightly better me, slowly but surely.

I don't like ging but at least he was direct with gon on not wanted to see him and didn't denied he was an shitty dad compare to silva on doing terrible things to his children and think it was the right thing to do on prepare them be world-class assassins

I kinda agree. I have a really hard time and mixed feelings about Ging in general, but in comparaison to Silva, there’s no doubt Silva is worse.

No one can really be sure what kind of Dad Ging would have been - even now, he doesn’t consider Gon like his son, and Gon does’t feel like he is considered as such. So even his current behavior, that is to scold Gon and tell him to suck it up, is not exactly telling of if he would have been a good dad or not.

Abandon does a lot of horrible things to a kid. When it happens this early especially, it creates damages that are hard to overcome. Which is why also Mito lied and said Ging died, and it’s Kite who told him about Ging being alive and that Gon had to be worthy of finding Ging if he wanted to meet him. 

I think Mito meant well by taking Gon away from Ging, and that Ging wouldn’t have been able to raise Gon properly. Ging, as far as we know, doesn’t know Mito told Gon he was dead, and so far he didn’t care. He did leave a track though, and I find the whole thing with him letting Gon access to Greed Island a little douchy, but even there it is true that Ging had always spelled out that he didn’t want to be here.

Which is still harmful for a kid. Which is still really bad. Ging isn’t a good father at all, not even now.

But compared to Silva? He’s far better than this. Silva abused his children, all of them, in one way or another. the fact it’s “normal” in their family doesn’t make it okay. the fact Killua especially, once in a healthy environement, talks about all of this with horror, saying it was painful, means it was not normal. 

Silva wanted to have his children under controls, especially Killua. He agreed with Illumi to put Killua under mind controle, he locked Alluka up, Silva is not a good father.

And honestly when I see what kind of person Illumi is… While he became an abuser himself, all of this seems to me like the result of an even harder training and the fact he was far more isolated since, as the first born, he didn’t always have his siblings running around. Illumi accepted all this abuse as normal and necessary because that’s what he was taught, and that’s why he reproduces the cycles of abuse, especially on Killua. 

Silva’s way of raising his children had been proven harmful and destructive for their own individualities. 

Especially because Silva has expectations for them, and even if he gives them the illusion of a choice (or at least he does with Killua) he does so while still repeating that after all, Killua is his son so he’ll come back in the family’s ways.

It’s far more fucked up. It’s extremely fucked up.

Type of trauma and the reprecussion on children caused by family are harder to discuss than just saying one is better than the other, because the children will react with other ways, and it should be the responsability of the adults to not screw up their children.

But as far as bad father goes, Silva takes the cake.

Take care!

It's like, 10:52pm and I have online school tomorrow.

this is great not being able to sleep so I'm posting here.

yay.

Movement to remove the menu age restrictions both ways

Vampire Husband on Webtoon

i no-doubt, fully believe that Killua is so acutely aware of all of his “flaws” and or “imperfections” due to how he was raised and constantly reminded of them by his mother and brothers(all the family really, but I see Illumi and Kikyo doing it more often, maybe Milluki if I’m really thinking on it.).

in regards to my post about going into highschool

I chose not to go to public school, but instead chose to go to an amazing online school. I still kinda want to go to public school, but I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that. It’s not that I couldn’t eventually mingle with the students there, its just that with all the issues I have with both my mental state and my learning disabilities, it would be messy to say the least.

killua in sketches by niuya ✧･ﾟ:*

“Sometimes, home has a heartbeat.”

— Beau Taplin

“no other word makes my mouth as tender as your name.”

— Emery Allen, “Soft Human” (via wnq-writers)