Something I Was Thinking About

okay, so i know i still have 1 year(which is about to start) before going into high school and im terrified. i want to go, its just that my brain has all these terrifying scenarios playing out about it and im freaking out. i cant tell if i should or shouldnt go

i was talking to max about how my hometown in NC has changed since he’s been gone and he pointed out that our town is quickly becoming a wtnv situation. for instance: 

apparently our high school, which is 96 years old and looks like a 16th century gothic castle (complete with lion gargoyles), has a fourth floor that no one really knew about until this year. no one knows how long it’s been in the building but from pictures it looks completely different than the rest and has a strange metal staircase in a spiral pattern. 

there is also a basement in the high school with a swimming pool but no one is allowed down there and it is starting to rot the first floor.

for a good while there was a nice elderly black man that would stand outside of random stores and street corners and dance to make people smile. however, in the past few months he has disappeared and is nowhere to be found.

we have a kapstone paper mill in our town and it is regularly normal but some days the smell is absolutely overwhelming and blankets the town like a thick fog.

the abandoned movie theater is blocked off to the public but i was talking to some girls from school about it who occasionally break in to chill what it is like on the inside, and they said that there is a giant, bottomless hole in the entrance’s floor so they have to tiptoe across a single plank of wood to get to the other side. 

fairly popular places in town will close down for literally no reason. 

one time a tornado came through our town and it destroyed the sonic drive-in and a car dealership next to it but no debris could be found. only the empty lots were there. they rebuilt the sonic in less than a month but the car rental lot was kept empty and now bored teenagers harp around it like vultures.

one time my grandmother saw an unidentified animal in our backyard. she thought it was a fox but when my dog barked at it, it stood up on its back legs and ran away.

fox and coyote sightings are becoming strangely frequent in one single area of town and no one knows why???? its like they all congregate near a horse stable by an old junkyard my cousin used to work at.

whenever a dog runs away from home they all end up coming to my house. every dog that gets loose.

my grandmother saw an unidentified bird in a tree and i still can’t figure out what kind it was based on her description. 

sometimes you can hear random gunshots and loud, unknown bestial screams in the uptown areas

there’s probably more but i don’t really get out much. these are just things that i’ve witnessed myself or is common knowledge in town.

“I choose you, not because I think it will always be easy, but because with you I know that even on the wretched, luckless days, when the troubles of the world are downpours of thick, clamouring rain, you will step outside, reach out your hand in invitation, and whisper softly, Dance with me.”

— Beau Taplin • T h e   D a n c e (via afadthatlastsforever)

“You are a language I am no longer fluent in, but still remember how to read.”

— Ashe Vernon (via naturaekos)

Yandere Archetypes

Yandere is a super broad umbrella term and I’ve been whining for a while now about how badly I want to see it broken down into coherent subgroups based on behaviour and mentality. I’ve seen a few blogs do something similar (most notably @yandere-daydreams who has a whole fascinating world built around the idea of yandere being the social norm, and does some great writing besides) but none of them have quite been what I had in mind, so I decided to finally sit down and try to make my own categories. 

This isn’t super refined or anything, and I’ll keep updating and editing more specific categories as I figure out how, but here’s what I’ve got so far.

The first way Yandere are divided is based on a Kinsey scale of Delusional to Lucid.

Delusional Yandere believe that their Obsession is already in love with them, or that, if they aren’t already, they will be soon. They either see nothing at all wrong with their actions, or they justify their actions as being perfectly acceptably because they were done for love. Not only do they justify their actions to themselves, but they expect their Obsession to understand, sympathise with, and appreciate all they’ve done in the name of their love. Delusional Yandere can be unpredictable when their Obsession reacts negatively. Some will hardly see it as little more than a lover’s spat, while others will become enraged that their Obsession would “betray” them by trying to get away after everything they’ve done to build their relationship.

Semi-Delusional Yandere are mostly delusional with random bouts of lucidity. They maintain a true Delusional Yandere’s instability and unpredictable nature, but their occasional self-awareness alows them to better navigate the world around them. They may experience rare second thoughts or guilt over their actions, but they quickly brush these off.

Selective Yandere are either Delusional or Lucid depending on circumstance. They’re likely aware on some level that their fantasy is exactly that, but they prefer to believe it’s true, or else outside factors are continuously forcing them to face and second-guess their delusions, leading to them having more regular and longer-lasting bouts of lucidity. Selective Yandere are a random grab bag of traits, because of their place right in the middle. Some may have all the guilt and regret of a truly Lucid Yandere coupled with all the instability and desperation of a truly Delusional Yandere, while others will have all the Lucid’s self-awareness and all the Delusional’s drive, making for a terrifyingly dangerous combination either way.

Semi-Lucid Yandere are usually aware of themselves and their actions, but they either so heavily justify those actions to themselves that they’ve begun to truly believe those justifications, or outside influences are impacting their mental stability, prompting them to more heavily lean into their Obsession as an escape from reality. These yandere are typically more willing to cross lines than their truly lucid counterparts, although they still hold fear of what their Obsession would say or do if they found out.

Lucid Yandere are aware of their actions, and how those actions impact reality, both for themselves and their Obsession. They have a relatively clear understanding that what they’re doing is wrong, and that their Obsession likely won’t thank them for it, but they either don’t care or are incapable of stopping themselves. They may justify their actions as being for their love, but they aren’t expecting their Obsession to do the same. They will go to great lengths to keep their actions hidden from their Obsession, and although they may be more stable than their Delusional counterparts, their self-awareness can sometimes mean they have an easier time manipulating their obsession or other people around them.

From here, yandere can be further divided based on the reasoning behind their obsession. Yandere are either Selfish or Selfless.

Selfish Yandere are more interested in how their Obsession makes them feel than they are with the Obsession themselves. These yandere will stop at nothing to have their Obsession’s full, undivided attention. They want you because you make them feel good, and as a result, they refuse to let you go. Like an addict, these yandere are constantly chasing the high they get from being with you, and, like an addict, they may gradually need more and more of your time and affection to keep them satisfied. They’ll keep you with them at all costs, even if it means hurting you or doing something directly against your best interests.

Selfless Yandere care more about the happiness and well-being of their Obsession than their own, which sounds better until you consider that a yandere’s over-protectiveness can be a lethal thing. These yandere tend to be more Lucid than their Selfish counterparts, though that isn’t a hard rule. All yandere crave to be recognised and loved by their Obsession, but a Selfless yandere puts that second to ensuring the comfort, safety, and happiness of their Obsession. Some never push for a romance at all, content to merely be a protector, while others are simply willing to patiently put it on the back-burner while they focus on more important things. These yandere might allow you to have close relationships with your friends and family members, either because they know it’ll make you happy or because they have more important things to worry about. 

Some examples (potential spoiler warning):

Lucid Selfish: Ayano Aishi/Yandere-Chan, Yandere Simulator. Ayano’s “Love at first sight” for her senpai Taro Yamada was born when he was the first person to make her feel anything. She knows he isn’t in love with her, and doesn’t particularly care one way or another. Her senpai is a vessel that delivers the high she craves, she wants to keep him with her because she craves the way he makes her feel.

Delusional Selfish: Sato Matsuzuka, Happy Sugar Life. Sato found Shio on the side of the road after Shio was abandoned by her mother, and “fell in love” with Shio because Shio made her feel “sweet.” She didn’t hesitate to kidnap a child off the streets, and refuses to see anything abnormal about their relationship, even going so far as to say that everyone else’s love is “bitter” and wrong. When she finds out Shio’s older brother is desperately searching for her, it never occurs to her that Shio might be happier or better-off with hi. Instead she desperately does everything she can to remove him from the occasion, so she can keep Shio with her and keep feeling “sweet.”

Lucid Selfless: Homura Akemi, Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Homura is never once under any delusions about her relationship with Madoka, although she of course yearns for something closer. She never once shows any interest in keeping Madoka away from her friends or family, even though Homura is at best apathetic and at worst actively dislikes every single one of them, because she knows the isolation wouldn’t make Madoka happy, and would rather kill herself and sacrifice a potential life with Madoka than see her come to harm. She only kidnaps Madoka when she gains the ability to literally rewrite the universe, creating a perfect city where Madoka can be with all of her loved ones while still being close to and protected by Homura.

Selective Selfless: Yuno Gasai, Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. Yuno is a perfect example of a Selective Yandere because she can literally rewrite or delete her own memories at will, allowing her to completely pick and choose how she views the world and her experiences. Although it’s somewhat tricky to define her on a selfish-selfless binary, since her powers mean that her actions have effectively zero consequences, she’s still mostly driven by a desire to keep Yuki safe and happy, as shown by her willingness to kill Yuki’s mother rapidly changing when she found out the woman was a good and loving mom. The first time she killed Yuki, she did so under the belief that she could bring him back to life and make him a god alongside her, and the second time she attempted to kill him she was thinking of the Yuki in the next time-loop, who she could try to have a better relationship with. Yuno’s main drive is to keep Yuki alive during the survival game, however she constantly pushes him for a closer relationship, and often convinces herself that the lines she crosses simply don’t exist.

I don't like ging but at least he was direct with gon on not wanted to see him and didn't denied he was an shitty dad compare to silva on doing terrible things to his children and think it was the right thing to do on prepare them be world-class assassins

I kinda agree. I have a really hard time and mixed feelings about Ging in general, but in comparaison to Silva, there’s no doubt Silva is worse.

No one can really be sure what kind of Dad Ging would have been - even now, he doesn’t consider Gon like his son, and Gon does’t feel like he is considered as such. So even his current behavior, that is to scold Gon and tell him to suck it up, is not exactly telling of if he would have been a good dad or not.

Abandon does a lot of horrible things to a kid. When it happens this early especially, it creates damages that are hard to overcome. Which is why also Mito lied and said Ging died, and it’s Kite who told him about Ging being alive and that Gon had to be worthy of finding Ging if he wanted to meet him. 

I think Mito meant well by taking Gon away from Ging, and that Ging wouldn’t have been able to raise Gon properly. Ging, as far as we know, doesn’t know Mito told Gon he was dead, and so far he didn’t care. He did leave a track though, and I find the whole thing with him letting Gon access to Greed Island a little douchy, but even there it is true that Ging had always spelled out that he didn’t want to be here.

Which is still harmful for a kid. Which is still really bad. Ging isn’t a good father at all, not even now.

But compared to Silva? He’s far better than this. Silva abused his children, all of them, in one way or another. the fact it’s “normal” in their family doesn’t make it okay. the fact Killua especially, once in a healthy environement, talks about all of this with horror, saying it was painful, means it was not normal. 

Silva wanted to have his children under controls, especially Killua. He agreed with Illumi to put Killua under mind controle, he locked Alluka up, Silva is not a good father.

And honestly when I see what kind of person Illumi is… While he became an abuser himself, all of this seems to me like the result of an even harder training and the fact he was far more isolated since, as the first born, he didn’t always have his siblings running around. Illumi accepted all this abuse as normal and necessary because that’s what he was taught, and that’s why he reproduces the cycles of abuse, especially on Killua. 

Silva’s way of raising his children had been proven harmful and destructive for their own individualities. 

Especially because Silva has expectations for them, and even if he gives them the illusion of a choice (or at least he does with Killua) he does so while still repeating that after all, Killua is his son so he’ll come back in the family’s ways.

It’s far more fucked up. It’s extremely fucked up.

Type of trauma and the reprecussion on children caused by family are harder to discuss than just saying one is better than the other, because the children will react with other ways, and it should be the responsability of the adults to not screw up their children.

But as far as bad father goes, Silva takes the cake.

Take care!

Any drunk head cannons for Mabel, Pacifica, dipper and wirt? Can wirt even get drunk?

Yes of course.

Mabel is the kind of drunk that sings at the top of her lungs on top of the table while everyone else cheers… which tbh is not that different from the normal Mabel behaviour so is kind of hard to figure out if she is drunk or just excited.

Pacifica is the cheerful drunk, the one making jokes and also she gets touchy with Mabel, sitting on her lap, giving her smooches on the cheek, hugging her, you know, everything she would never do had she been sobber.

We know how Dipper gets like when drunk, he goes into detailed explanations about paranormal stuff, and recently about his demon boyfriend that does not act as a demon but that doesn’t mean anyone is allowed to make fun of him or Dipper is getting his great uncle Ford’s crossbow to teach them a lesson.

Wirt can get drunk but he can only do so on certain liquors, aka either Elves’  special liquors that they refuse to share unless they get a good deal, or whatever the heck Mabel makes each time they forget to keep her away from the bar when they are drinking together.

Mabel might have lost the recipe for the Mabel Juice but she is quite good at making stuff to affect even a demon.

zhongchi fam shower thoughts

So Childe gets home later than expected, and Zhongli and the boys(that one gif) were dozing on the couch while waiting for Childe to get home. They stir when they hear the door open. They look up, only to see Childe walking past them, not paying them any mind. They kinda look at each other as if to ask “Is he okay?”

They do notice however, that he looks drained as he walks past, so they, instead of doing their normal routine of showering him with love and affection when he walks through the door, give him some personal space. 

They get up to go to the master bedroom to cuddle Childe on the bed, but hear the shower going. They assume that he’s getting ready for bed. Now, usually his showers are short, but after a few long minutes they agree that he is indeed in need of some tlc. Once Childe finishes and walks out of the bathroom to tuck himself into bed, he sees them there patiently waiting for him. 

They do cuddle and fall asleep, but Childe gets up way earlier than he wants too, not being able to stay asleep. He gets up to make himself a cup of tea, but while the tea is brewing he strolls through the garden. He comes back to his favorite boys waiting for him at the counter, in the kitchen with the tea poured into cups.

His sons ask him if he’s sleeping alright, he answers honestly. Who could resist their eyes? Surely not Childe. He loved them too much. But he simply stated that he was sleeping less and less, but that it’d be over soon and he’d go back to a normal sleep schedule soon. They of course, felt worse now knowing that he was having a difficult time with something and they didn’t know what. It bothered them all throughout the night. They sat and pondered what they could do to make it better, while not making it worse for Childe.

Why is math so hard? Like, I get that I have dyscalculia or whatever it is, but like, wtf why’s math gotta be a bitch??

lol a lil comic idea I had and I just had to make it. Herobrine is like a celebrity lol, no privacy at all. His people are just interested about his life that’s all 

Moreover, i wanted to draw the mobs and the bad guys, just wanted to see how they would look in my style what do you think? I didn’t change entity’s design. For null, I made him into a Shadow Samurai  I thought it would be cool haha

I hope you guys liked it!!!