Acroball And White Gel Pen.

[ID: A tweet from Emily Gwen @/theemilygwen.

Did you know Disney sells lesbian flag pins? Bob Iger profits off the flag I designed for our community!

On another note, I can't afford to pay for my medication this month! Any help would be appreciated.

Donations: ko-fi.com/emilygwen

Store: emilygwen.threadless.com

END ID]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

no but being told to use your communication coping skills when talking to abusive people is bullshit. abusers do not listen to their victims no matter how reasonable we are.

like. anything that shows we're an individual with thoughts and feelings is going to make an abuser double down. using "i feel" statements isn't going to help if your abuser lashes out at you for showing feelings. speaking calmly isn't going to help if your abuser is threatening you. gently stating what you need isn't going to help if your abuser neglects even your simplest needs.

also so many of us hide our anger and rage. we dont speak our mind, because it's dangerous. it's the most threatening thing to an abuser... but it's also the most empowering for us. anger is the feeling that tells us something is wrong, and we need to embrace it. because our anger is not the danger - our abuser's reaction to it is, and that reaction is not our fault.

True for me, true for you 💓

You deserve to be seen, you deserve to be loved as you are right now, not by proving how useful you can be to someone because you’re not a machine. You’re not an object. You’re just another human, as valuable as anyone else.

Abusive parents will still make sure you care about them so much, so your heart hurts when you even think about calling them abusers, they will make themselves seem so important, so clueless about what they’re doing to you, so well-meaning, so emotionally immature, it feels like you’re a bad person to even think of holding them responsible for cruelty. But they never seem to think the same of you.

They don’t think you’re important, or clueless about how you affect them. You, in fact, should just shut up and watch your every move for how it affects them. You never get the benefit of doubt that you maybe meant well when you did something they didn’t like. You have to take responsibility for everything you do, and even for what they do. You don’t get to be emotionally immature, you have to act like an understanding, compassionate, all-giving adult even when you’re a small child. You don’t get to be forgiven for mistakes, you don’t get to be spared of being called horrible names when you’re less than perfect in their eyes. You don’t get the same warmth and care they expect to be given. You don’t get to have space to grow and develop. You don’t get to be important. You only exist to make them feel like good parents, regardless of what awful parents they are. You get to be neglected and dismissed but you are expected to care and acknowledge them immensely.

If they can’t acknowledge that you are a child, who depends on them for care and safety, who is affected by them immensely and that it’s on them to provide you with care and warmth and space, if they can’t give you space to make mistakes, space to grow and develop, if they can’t hold themselves responsible for their own actions towards you - they’re not good parents. And regardless of what they say, you’re not obliged to make them feel all warm and soft inside after they failed you that badly. You don’t owe them credit they never deserved. If they wanted to feel like good parents, maybe they should have put more effort into making sure their child is safe and happy. Maybe they should have tried parenting instead of manipulating you to love them despite what they did to you.

This is a result of the inhumane decisions that members of this administration want you to be silent about in public for fear of a loss of “civility”.

i honestly think that the reason that the whole "staff shortage" thing still hasn't been resolved is because employers legitimately aren't trying to remedy it.

like as this "shortage" drags on it seems less and less like a natural phenomenon and more like excuse for employers (especially large employers like grocery store chains) to see just how few people they can have in their stores and still make money. like this pandemic has given them the perfect opportunity to see just how shit they can make the customer experience while still turning a profit

and when you look at it that way, the countless stories of people being denied jobs that were supposedly in DESPERATE need of filling totally make sense! because even if your store has ten-person lines at every cashier, if it isn't hurting your bottom line, why would you care? businesses are finding out now just how much that they can get away with before losing business, and it's WAY more than they previously thought

alright for the millionth time I'm seeing yet another author I admire talk about how they literally can barely afford to live & yet there are people openly admitting to pirating their books so, like

i guess it needs to be said again

pirating books is not the same as pirating your favourite Disney movie or whatever. book piracy kills author's incomes and can genuinely ruin someone's career

Things I couldn't do in my abuser's house that I can do now:

Take a bath whenever I feel like it

Leave my room whenever I need or want to

Leave the house and arrive back whenever I need or want to

Play music while I cook and dance and sing around the house

Step on the noisy floor tiles

Walk into rooms without peeking in to make sure no one's in them

Leave my belongings all around the house without worrying they'll be broken

Eat everything that's in my fridge without fear it wasn't meant for me

Choose what's in my fridge

Choose when the heating is turned on

Choose what to watch on TV

Choose how to organise my time

Arrive to places on time because I get to choose when I leave the house

Invite my friends home whenever I feel like it

Feel free to add your own! Let's spread some positivity :)

And for those of you who still live with your abusers and need to hear this: it won't last forever. One day, you too will be able to feel safe and in control in your own home ❤️