Neglected Children Will Sometimes Reassure Adults That They’re Fine, Even When They’re In A Horrible

reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a fucking break

If you really like someone’s art/writing/etc, even if you’re scared to talk to them, tell them. I have really bad anxiety myself, and I’m usually scared to talk to people I like, even online. But when I have actually worked up the nerve to tell someone I like their work, literally every time the person has been nice, and even thankful. Why? Because nothing feels better than to know that someone loves something you created, or that what you made has helped them through a rough time. By telling them what they’ve done for you, you do something for them too!

together, soft, shining ✨

If you ever need to justify traumatizing someone by making them feel bad for you and your sad tragic past just know that this person would be way happier without you in their life and using your past trauma to bring more trauma to others lives doesn’t make you the tragic hero you think you are, it’s unoriginal and boring and they will eventually see thru you and be sickened by it and you will not be forgiven

"what if a dangerous man pretends to be trans to-" what if we actually dealt with the underlying causes of dangerous men. what if predators faced real consequences more often. what if you stopped using trans women as a proxy for your grievances with liberal feminism's individualist denial of the need to fight systemic issues.

what if you stopped assigning blame for patriarchy's evils to one of its more vulnerable victim groups.

white people hijack every single movement they join

Sometimes your abusers will be extra nice to you after an event of horrendous abuse and it will feel transactional, like if you accept this niceness now, then you’ve accepted to forgive them for the abuse, then it’s all behind in the past and you’re perfectly happy to be on good terms with them again, and it will feel wrong and prickly like poison being injected into your body because no, you’re not okay, and no, you’re not forgiving them, you are not on good terms anymore, you do not want to act nice back, you do not want to accept niceness, you want to shut them out and be free from them forever. 

But you don’t dare to act out only because it might bring the horrendous abuse back. You have no choice but to let them believe all is well and forgiven and you’re a nice little family again and nobody is holding grudges. It feels like signing a contract against your will, confirming that the anger and the pain and the hatred will forever be festering inside of you, until they eat you alive, but you will never bring it up or act on it. It’s like being blackmailed to keep all of the consequences of abuse to yourself, and never let abusers experience any, because they’re currently being nice, and you can’t risk them being anything else.

And you know what, that contract is invalid. You were at a direct threat while you were displaying this behaviour. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to explode later. It doesn’t mean you have to keep consistent with what they expect of you. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to hold them accountable anymore. You were not leading them on to believe you’re fine with abuse, you were blackmailed and forced into taking over the consequences they deserved to bear. They still deserve it. Temporary niceness makes up for zero of the abuse. Nothing they do or preform or fake can make up for the abuse. Nothing can absolve them. None of your behaviour means they’re forgiven. You’re allowed to hold them accountable, to be mad, to show rage and coldness and consequences for however long you deem it prudent. Even if that is forever.