If You're Just Joining Us, George Takei Is Having To Educate Jk Rowling On Holocaust Denial

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

oldest obey me brothers as annoying boyfriend activities

a/n: quick writing for the oldest three bc i love them

lucifer

Leans his head over to look at what you're doing on your phone and refuses to admit to it

Buys you clothes that are very clearly his own taste but he just wants to see you in them, just don't say that out loud or he'll threaten to return them (since you "clearly don't want it")

Once he offers to help fix something there's no getting him away, yes he's been taking 5 hours to fix the hot water in your shower but NO he will not call a plumber when "he's got it"

Will cut a kiss short just to see you get frustrated (but god forbid you do it back)

"Oh!.... I see, no it's fine, MC.... I didn't say I was upset"

mammon

Stalks your social media to make sure nobody is flirting with you under your comments (absolutely loses his shit on them when he actually finds someone dumb enough)

Everytime you two lay down together he manages to pull your hair/bonnet/ or elbow your head. Every. Single. Time (literally just goes "lol damn sorry")

Tries to cop a feel and when you catch him he gets defensive cause CLEARLY he miscalculated the distance from your ass and hip.. jeez!

Will wake you up mid-sleep to ask you something unimportant

"Babe....babe have you seen my white towel...? Baby?..... i can't find it babe wake-"

levi

Never remembers your friends names and makes you remind him every time you have gossip about them

Will be on voice chat in-game while on the phone with you and yes it will be confusing as hell

"MOVE YOU IDIOT- no henry, not you, i wouldn't call you that.. ARE YOU STUPID-"

Knocks on the bathroom door to ask if you're done (not cause he has to go, he just wants you back)

Asks "what if" questions to test your love (he just wants to test the limits, mc, what if he were to actually turn into a snail and-)

swordle

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

One of my favorite things about Obey Me is that if you put anything on Mammon that forces him to speak the truth, he immediately wants it gone/off and for one singular reason.

Levi: *puts truth bracelet on Mammon*

Mammon, turning to Lucifer: I would do anything for you. I love you. You're my big brother and I'd fall into hell all over again for you. GET THIS THING OFF OF MEEEE

And it always ends with Lucifer staring at Mammon like he's seeing a small little angel all over again and falls in love (PLATONIC YOU BITCHES) with his brother all over again and then lets Mammon get away with shit for a week because that's his precious baby brother. If I were Mammon I would use that shit all the time.

I had the most random ass dream last night

I dreamt that there was a live action Dragon Age TV show and Fenris was in it, and besides the actor being in a fantastically shitty wig, they did a pretty good job translating his character. Except. Well. They decided to give him a new character trait for comedic purposes, it was this habit around food.

It was explained that since he lived so long as a runaway he got really accustomed to seeing food he wanted and just. Stealing it. Not off of anyone’s plate but out of like market stalls. And he just never saw a reason to stop doing it even after settling in Kirkwall. He never paid for food once

It was an ongoing joke that they’d walk by a stall with like bread or meat or something and then the camera would cut and in the next scene he’d just be holding some of it in the background. There was nothing gluttonous about it, he’d eat it very politely like a normal person, the joke was that he ABSOLUTELY swiped it. I distinctly remember Hawke having to make a point to supervise him in marketplaces because he once got caught stealing an apple and it lead to an Aladdin-style chase sequence around Kirkwall

I woke up not knowing if that made perfect sense or was the stupidest thing I’d ever seen but I’m putting it into the world so others can know that was concocted by my brain last night

[Lucifer gives MC a treat from the human world]

Lucifer: Good job lately, now excuse me a moment

Upper Class Demon: What IS that!?

[Lucifer turns and sees MC gnawing on their snack like a deprived animal]

Lucifer:

Lucifer (grabbing the spray bottle) : WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

bbys

made a beautiful thing today and i think tumblr will appreciate it.

blank version below the cut! if you use it pls tag me, I wanna see!

Reblog if you think asexuality is a real thing that actually exists.

I'm trying to prove something.