Toxic90sboy - Toxic

Original

rare vent art from a few months ago

my top surgery is in 2 months. this has been my journey:

In 2016, I wrote a letter to my mother telling her I am a transgender man. Halfway through it, she crumbled it on the floor, laughed in my face, and verbally berated me. She completely wrote it off, but for my safety after that reaction, I did not press it. It was my first glimpse of seeing that unconditional love might not exist from her.

A year later, I tried again. She told me that she knew what was best for me, and that I simply had to be a girl, according to her life plan. I refused to go by her plan, so was kicked out for one night. The next day, she called me and told me I needed to go to my medication appointment, and since I was a minor, I felt I didn’t have much of a choice. Plus, I didn’t have anywhere else to go but home. In my psychologists office, my mother asked for recommendations for conversion therapists. The doctor was appalled, telling her that was illegal in my state. She continued, asking for recommendations to churches, anyone that could “fix” me. Obviously, she didn’t get any answers that she wanted, so we left and my mental health treatment ended that day. I suffered similar treatment from my grandparents, being told “God gave me a granddaughter, not a grandson.”

My first glimpse of freedom was when I started college in 2018, living on campus. I was able to start hormone therapy, keeping it at a very low dose so changes wouldn’t be noticeable when I went back home on breaks. Being at school was the first time I got to live authentically without constant anxiety. Everyone knew me by my chosen name and used the proper pronouns, I could use the men’s restroom, it was so liberating. Then, in early 2020 that all came crashing down. I was sent back home with no relief in sight, due to, y’know, the thing that happened in 2020. I began to get stress migraines from constantly having to hide my identity and dealing with crippling dysphoria. So, one day in May 2020, I simply left. For weeks I was slowly moving things up to my boyfriends house out of state, then I left, changed my number, and never looked back. I haven’t had contact with anyone in my family since that day over 3 years ago. Not even my little sister, who did her best to be silently supportive. Unfortunately, she had to take my mom’s side to keep herself safe, but I still miss her the most.

Now, I am stable enough to finally get the surgery I have been dreaming about since I was 13. This has been a decade in the making and I have gone through hell to make it a reality. Now, the only barrier is the cost. I have been trying my hardest to spread my link, but with no family support and a very small friend group/social media presence, it is not going well. My surgery is in 2 months and I refuse to let all of my fighting and suffering be in vain.

If you could, please share my fundraiser on any site you feel fit, or just reblog this post. Donations are extremely appreciated as well. Much love to everyone and thank you for letting me share my story ❤️

Hello! I’m the anon from before who talked about the “females DNI” thing. I was pretty tired when I wrote that, so I’m sorry if I came off aggressively. I have a pretty bad memory so I don’t know if I missed that you included the word fetishising in that disclaimer (“Fetishizing She/Her, She/They, Females DNI”) or if you added that in later. If I missed that when reading, I’m sorry, and if you added it in after I appreciate it, thank you :)

I did add it at a later time and it’s all good. 👍 I was aggravated also when I wrote that response so…

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

something something

Like and reblog if you agree with this:

Listen, I get that you want to make content specifically for queer men and that’s fine. I also get that a lot of people fetishise queer relationships. But you can’t just say “She/Her, She/They, Females DNI”. I’m not even femme-aligned, but that’s honestly pretty misogynistic. It’s one thing to write stuff for a specific gender, but it’s another to intentionally exclude another group. You could instead just clarify “this is for male readers” instead. Same message, less sexist.

Hey!! Anon I get what you mean but you do know that most females that read male reader fetishize men? Like I won’t know if an actually female read this but it’s pretty common to see these things especially in male reader fanfic. Male reader fanfics are intend for the male readers or even trans readers. I get where your coming from but if you calling me misogynistic for simply excluding the female population of readers from reading my oneshot then maybe you should set your prosperities straight. But then saying “this is for male readers” won’t stop females either way but even my message won’t stop it but it makes male readers comfort with that message. So if you please understand where I’m coming from I would like to peacefully end this conversation. It was very lovely to talk to you. :)