Yes.

I used to really love the first romance scene with Astarion (and I still do) but it hits so much harder after you know why he's doing it. That he's purposefully seducing you for protection and blood, that he's forcing himself to sleep with you, and this is a mask he's wearing.

It's a sexy scene and really feeds into the vampy (pun intended) jump-your-bones version of him you get at the start of the game. The whole thing starts out with him being so confident and suave, saying that he's wanted you ever since he set eyes on you and how you want to be known and tasted. It's like everyone's perfect vampire romance novel.

He's laying out the bait that's worked thousands of times over and luring you in. And you can just get right to the kissing if you want.

But, you can also stop and ask him, "And what do you want?"

And for just a moment the mask drops. This is not the same cocky seductive face we've had up until now. This is vulnerability showing. When has anyone asked him what he wants? When has anyone cared? Does he even know the answer to that question?

So he pivots. The mask snaps back into place immediately. He turns back into the master seducer and feeds you a line about shared ecstasy to get you back on track.

And then comes what is, to me, the pivotal moment. He asks you "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"

Looking at his body language he seems unsure at first, maybe questioning his previous tactics. Then he slightly cowers back, lowering himself as he asks the question. The total opposite of his confidence from earlier where he's standing with his arms out wide.

He's not sure what you want anymore. You're not playing by the rules he knows. Why haven't you taken the bait yet? Why haven't you thrown yourself at him?

And when you finally Nod in agreement, confirming you're here for sex?

This. This is the face he gives you. He just looks so damn sad. To me, it hearkens back to "Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?"

Whatever momentary blip made him question why you're there with him, he's just been reassured about both of your roles in this situation.

He sounds so quietly resigned when he answers: "I thought so."

And then the scene transitions into the actual act. I do like to think Astarion enjoyed himself as I'm sure the PC did, but it's hard for me to watch this scene now that I know his story and history without being uncomfortable.

Just that line "lose yourself in me" is so difficult to hear. Because on paper it's so sensual. Who wouldn't want a lover to feel that way about them? But knowing the context of what Astarion expects and believes in this moment is just... oof.

And to me, this is what makes this scene brilliant. The writing, voice acting, and the mocap/animation are all just SO GOOD. It's so delicately done and Astarion the character is so good at playing a role that you can completely gloss over the deeper stuff. But once the mask is eventually stripped away you can't help but see what was there the whole time.

And as we've established, being seen is a whole aspect of Astarion's romance arc.

I originally romanced Astarion for the same reasons I'm sure most did: he's a hot, sexy vampire elf (i.e. everything that's on the surface). But, I keep coming back to him over and over again for the person I know is waiting for me underneath the mask.

Astarion in Early Access: "Hahaha yes I'm very charming and deceptive and evil and sex is so much fun and I really don't care about anyone."

Astarion in the Full Game: "I haven't had bodily autonomy in 200 years and I've forgotten how to be intimate with someone beyond using it to lure people to their deaths and I have so much trauma regarding sex and I seduced you because it's what I've had to do to survive for literal centuries and I needed you to be on my side but I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you but you're so kind and amazing that I fell anyway and I'm terrified of real emotions but I want *us* to be real because you deserve it and I really care about you but I need you to help me because this is all so new and I'm so scared but I want this to work and I-"

Neil's acceptance speech at The Game Awards for Best Performance as Astarion 🩷

"You're not alone in this. None of us are."

SITH! OBI-WAN & ANAKIN SKYWALKER | WHAT IF? STAR WARS BY ME. I always liked the idea of Obi-Wan corrupted by the dark side, so i made this. Star Wars really needs a what if show.

Apparently human blood has about the same amount of protein as the average protein shake. You just met Dracula at the local gym and he. is. absolutely. ripped.

who hurt his feelings >:(

Headcannon scenario: Gale attempts to move from Waterdeep to Baulders Gate and gets screwed over by a landlord. Astarion then reads the contract and points out every illegal thing and ruins the landlord's life. Not because he gives a shit about Gale, but because he loves ruining landlords lives.

I don’t know if this is funny or depressing

Because someone requested the whole thing in one - your wish is my command ;)

What if Peter got the Gauntlet off on Titan?