When The Lyrics You've Been Mishearing Are More Clever Than What's Actually In The Song

I don’t give a fuck about canon, Frodo, Kili, and fili are and forever will be cousins in my eyes

Conclave (2024) dir. Edward Berger

Buff Lawrence lives rent free in my head.

I need something to happen like he falls into a fountain or a fellow cardinal gets hurt and Lawrence takes off his shirt to staunch the bleeding, either way he takes off his shirt in front of everyone especially Vincent and the press.

I need Twitter to freak out and stan accounts about the hot Cardinal with the six pack. I need Vincent to visibly short circuit on camera and for some mid-20s college grad Catholic guys to seriously contemplate their sexuality and the possibility of priesthood as a career path over investment banking. Those hot priest calendars in Rome have a new addition for the coming year.

I need American Conservative Alpha-male podcasts to be putting this 75 year old man as a the face of Red-pill content only for the Vatican to release a statement denouncing them. Thomas is somehow responsible for a large amount of men abandoning red-pill content.

Thomas is mortified and does not want to know anything that is going on while Aldo is ecstatic. Ray and Sabbadin, who both have a Twitter account are following this drama religiously. Tedesco posts a photo of when he and Thomas were younger in a “he isn’t gay, look at him helping me when I was the victim of a car bomb” and it’s Thomas carrying him bridal-style. (Vincent is very jealous)

I cannot write a full fic for the next two weeks due to my schedule so this is my contribution to the fandom. May you feast on what little I can offer 🍝.

Happy Birthday Ahkmenrah!!

(the original picture is some tumblr user's screenshot but I cannot for the life of me find their blog)

loml mwah mwah mwah 💕💕

Something I love about conclave is the fact that Lawrence is one Tedesco outburst away from killing himself but he’s too English to admit it

Someone please get that man a holiday away from the Vatican and a vodka cola.

good god forgive me. i want to walk away

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

happy birthday to large boulder size of a small boulder

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

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