I Feel So Bad For Ryan, No Kid Should Ever Learn That. Thats Lowkey Fuck Up On Gracie Part.

@everyone:

Who wants to request any 'The Boys' fics from me <3 💫🌠

Daki calling douma a perv is so iconic I love it!

Ikr, just look at this mf 💀

Why is sage back.

9 Headcanons About Luke and Honey 🧸🍯

content warning: a little crack, a little smut (minors dni) disclaimer: please never re-enact any sexual content I describe in my writing unless you are sure you know what you're doing and you're sure this shit actually works in real life. I bear no responsibility for mishaps and accidents.

🍯 O N E Mr. Randolph and the simple art of stashing honey. He nestles tiny bear-shaped shot-sized bottles inside his hood. The only reason you've never seen them is because he is a tol boy. The only reason you've never heard them clinking against each other is because the sound of his sword and belt and boots and snoring drowns the sound out. — His belt can hold up to seven half-pints of honey, but he often squeezes in two more in case he gets caught up somewhere that doesn't have immediate access to honey. — Because one time he got caught up somewhere that didn't have immediate access to honey. Walk with me if you would, to Luke's third day at the palace as a princeling. He's dozed off in the library whilst studying for one of Sariel's exams, his forehead and nose smooshed flush against the tabletop, books scattered at his feet. He awakens slowly and then starts with a fright when he realizes that in his boredom he burned through his honey stash. When he attempts to leave the library, he finds the doors locked from the outside because Clavis. Several minutes later, Yves is spooked during his bubble-bath when a giant shadow scales past his window. This is followed by a pinched gasp before the shadow tumbles off the palace façade and lands atop an unsuspecting Cyril below.

🍯 T W O Connoisseurism. To Luke, all honey is good honey, but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate distinct flavor profiles and richness. After consuming as much honey as he has, his tongue has become primed for picking out even the most subtle notes. Of course if asked he never describes them as much more than "very yummy," but unbeknownst to anyone, his beautiful honey-brain basks in his sunlit skull and experiences a wealth of sensations and vividry. — Similar to an elite wine sommelier, Luke can disseminate where in Rhodolite a batch of honey hails from. After being a prince for a few more years and being exposed to scores of international honey, he's eventually able to triangulate global origins within a 5 kilometer radius. As such, the Rhodolite Honey Society tries regularly to stump Luke with obscure varieties of honey. They invite the eighth prince to their monthly meetings, watch slack-jawed as Luke successfully classifies all the batches, and then scramble to stop him as he sweeps all the extra honey into a giant overnight bag. — But home is where the heart is, and his favorite honey comes from around the parts where he grew up.

🍯 T H R E E Contrary to what you've seen, Luke doesn't actually consume much more honey than the average person on a day-to-day basis. He is aware of potential health-risks and doubly-so after a particularly sobering visit to a healing ward. — That visit in-turn inspires him to begin a public service campaign to teach the people of Rhodolite honey-consumption best practices. Jin tries to broaden the scope to include all foods, but Luke understandably checks out after the honey portion of the presentation (jumping in intermittently to say the word "honey" as it comes up). This leaves Jin to field questions from audience-members who've taken issue with how Jin only ever uses melons and coconuts as visual aids regardless of what food he is actually discussing. Jin subsequently adds peaches and eggplants to his repertoire. — Years into the future, Luke's likeness is seen depicted on sprawling tapestries, settled into a picnic with a family of bears as he doles out healthy servings of honey to them.

🍯 F O U R Luke is exceptional friends with the palace beekeeper (his name is Thierry and he is as single as a slice of cheese). Sure, Luke falls asleep whenever the man begins an impassioned, scientifically-sound monologue about honey production and hive integrity, but so would you. Probably. Other times he shuts Thierry up with a spoonful of honey. But Thierry actually despises honey, so he tears up and gags and tries to punch Luke who has an uncanny ability of dodging punches by way of dropping into a well-timed nap. — In exchange for oodles and oodles of honey, Luke assists Thierry with hive-building and maintenance. From time-to-time his job involves collecting cow dung, which has multiple uses in medieval beekeeping; so that one evening when you catch Luke slinking back from somewhere while smelling questionable, it's because he was slinking back from somewhere while smelling questionable. — I know you didn't ask, but yes, a portion of that cow dung mysteriously but invariably finds its way into Clavis's trap-building inventory.

🍯 F I V E Sariel is forced to tailor Luke's prince training around honey and honey accessories because the guy will wander off, physically and mentally, literally 5 minutes into a lesson otherwise. — When they are on the international trade unit Sariel has Jin take Luke on a field trip to a meadery in Jade. Much of this trip is spent with the two in various states of intoxication, but they manage to hide it fairly well if you ignore 95% of what actually happens on the trip. Luke comes back with a pet Jadean bee named Keith (no relation). Jin comes back with lots of mead and tales of the warmth of Jadean ladies. — Sariel attempts to teach military-strategy to Luke using bottles of honey. Several military units go missing over the course of fifteen minutes before the commanding general succumbs to sleep. Several more go missing after Sariel attempts to self-medicate for his headache.

🍯 S E X Luke won't lie to you. He can't get enough of licking honey off your nipples. — He says as much in shy, whispered confessions against your neck, but you really get the sense of it in the way his hands curl desperately around your wrists, the way his pupils seem to dilate like an eclipsed sun in that field of green, in the way his arousal clashes and shudders against yours as his tongue laps up the sweet nectar. — Luke devours your honeyed nipples like a man eating for the first time. He craves the taste, the texture, the indescribable emotional connection, and he craves your hands tangled in his hair, pulling his face closer than close could ever get. — Oh and the sounds he makes. Slick, wet, juicy. You have trouble looking at his lips the next morning without feeling a violent reaction in your party parts.

🍯 S E V E N Luke tries to get away with putting honey on everything but there is one thing he won't put honey on even if you paid him in honey. Scrambled eggs. — Boiled eggs? Sure. Fried eggs? He's literally written the picture-book on it. But scrambled eggs? sCrAMBLEd eGgS??? Did your mother drop you on your head as a child? — Scrambled eggs, in Luke's mind, are a heavenly, fluffy, buttery piece of cloudwork, untainted by the sorrows of the world. For comparison, Luke considers honey a liquid chorus of angels, but scrambled eggs sit firmly as a distant second. — Rio, once, well-intentioned, serves Luke a plate of scrambled eggs with a cute little teddy bear drawn over the peaks and valleys in honey. Upon seeing this, Luke takes out a scalpel from only god knows where and begins to scrape off the honey into one of his empty shot-bottles. Beads of sweat gather on his temples as he works to maintain the dignity of the scrambled eggs. When he finishes, he puts his scalpel down, and without facing Rio, tells him in a choked, distorted voice, to never serve him this tragedy again. What he doesn't realize is that Rio fucked off several minutes prior after catching sight of Emma chatting with Thierry the Royal Beekeeper.

🍯 E I G H T The Rhodolite Honey Society holds a honey portrait contest every year. To win, contestants must paint a portrait of an animal using nothing but honey. Because everyone almost always chooses to paint a bear, bears have been banned from submission. Luke has never entered this contest because he vehemently disagrees with such blatant disregard for and waste of honey. — One day Luke overhears Keith telling fellow tea-party-bros Yves and Licht that he is thinking about entering and has been practicing drawing stags in his spare time. — Luke enlists Clavis and begins plotting a honey heist. It would turn out to be the greatest food heist in Rhodolite history, meticulous in its planning, baffling in its execution. And once again Nokto would be called upon to use his false-mustache... — Link here for if/when I ever write Luke's Honey Heist

🍯 N I N E "Have you ever played the tongue game?" — On warm summer evenings, Luke will sit you on his lap and dance trails of honey across your bottom lip with the tip of his finger. And to cricket-song and gentle breeze he kisses each oozing drop away. — When you ask if you can do the same to him, a most tender expression fills out any lingering emptiness in his gaze. So you take a dollop of honey on your fingertip and press it against the plush bed of his lower lip, smoothing it over the coarse traces of the day. His lips have such a pretty shape, but they're even prettier under the glaze. Without realizing it, you've drifted your face closer and closer, and Luke giggles when your breath tickles the tip of his nose. Then he's kissing you, massaging the sweetness on his lips onto yours, and before long you two are a tangle of limbs in a sea of sheets; the honey, for once, forgotten.

Thank you for reading :) Which hc was your favorite? Are there any you want more details on? Do you think it was the right call for Nokto to bring his false-mustache out of retirement?

every reblog is -1 hp for charles

Heathers (1989)

“Only for you” - Jason Dean x Fem!reader

Jason Dean x Fem!reader

“Our dirty little secret” - Heather Duke x Fem!reader

Table Talk

If we are going to be real

Let's talk about how Charles Beckendorf, literally the only black person that was introduced, died and how his girlfriend, Silena also died and get talked trash because of that bitch ass hoe, Drew.

Soldier Boy?!

FUCKING STOP BRO STOP Y'ALL I CANT FUCK OMG

pink goes good with green ₊˚⊹

Who invited blud to the cookout💀🗣️💯🙏

Muichiro at a family function with his Black!Fem!S/O

Requested by: @blackbabydollface

Ah yes, the mysterious Mist Pillar himself. Dumb and smart at the same time.

Now why the FUCK did you decide to let this forgetful nigga come to yo family cookout? 💀💀

Okay so fast forward your family had (this is modern AU) your mom texted in the family gc that they were hosting a cookout and wanted everyone to be there

You being the oh-so-sweet gf you are, decided to let Muichiro come with you so you could introduce him to your family

When you brought up the idea of him meeting your family and he was happy to meet your family

Omfg when you get there, that boy is in black HEAVEN he smells that food cooking and he’s just like “dayum you related to Gordon Ramsey?”

Like, you ever just smell some bomb ass food cooking and full from the aroma of it? That’s him

I know for a fact that boy would be FUCKING HIS FOOD UPPPPP! Now I personally see Muichiro as someone who would have a large appetite like me

So just know by the time you leave he’s taking whole trays for himself and his brother

Muichiro would definitely be getting interrogated by your dad and your brothers and if you don’t have any, then your male cousins

Muichiro can dance idc let him find out the movements for wobble, electric side, and all our other good cook out songs you gon be screaming “CLEAR DA AIR-RUHHHHHH” cuz he can DANCE DANCE

And yes he does hang out with your baby cousins they all jump on his ass and form a giant pile on him

Yo mama and grandma? They love him, they’re stuffing him with food and you’re just over there embarrassed bc wtf why are they stuffing your bf like he’s a turkey?

Yo daddy? He likes him after seeing he good he is at playing dominos and spades

Lol you’ll see him keeping score while your cousins play basketball in the street

All in all your family loves him and can’t wait for him to visit and officially become part of the family <3

“He’s a nice kid, he treats our little [Y/N] so good.” Your mom says quietly. Your dad nods in approval, “If he hurts her I’ll kill him though.” He adds. They both clean the dishes as they look over at you and Muichiro cuddling and napping on the couch. His head was on your chest with a smile on his face, your arms wrapped around him as you drooled away.