"You Are Slowly Losing Interest In Me And I Fucking Hate It. I Can Feel The Love Between Us Fading And

Contradiction: Rambling #3

16th April 2022, 23:53

I am a walking contradiction. I am in constant battle with myself. Sometimes I’m a boy, sometimes I’m a girl. Sometimes I’m a top, sometimes I’m a bottom. Sometimes I’m attracted to boys, sometimes I’m attracted to girls. Sometimes I want to get better, sometimes I want to see how worse I can get. Sometimes I want to be a good person, sometimes I want to kill people. Sometimes I am empathetic, sometimes I am apathetic. Sometimes I feel like the smartest, most beautiful person alive, sometimes I feel nothing short of a disgusting failure. That’s why my username is tokidokioki (sometimes okay). These are just a few examples among many. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I two faced? Do I have multiple personalities? A split personality? It is because I am a gemini? I feel like I’m faux, like I am an imposter. I don’t feel like I have a real personality because I’m always switching and swapping between things. I just want to know who I am. Who am I? What am I?

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

maybe all the signs were there-

maybe i just refused to see them.

after all, red flags just look like flags when you see them through rose colored glasses.

-why did i believe you when you said you'd never hurt me? c.r.

Things that don’t make you a bad person:

Displaying “scary” symptoms of mental illness

Being diagnosed with multiple disorders

Having one or various personality disorders

Being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or ASPD

Having very low empathy, or no empathy

Having symptoms that cause anger, emptiness, or paranoia

Having triggers or “strange” personal boundaries

Needing extra help or accommodations

Having intrusive thoughts about upsetting or scary topics

having a superiority god complex along with self-hatred is so funny like yes yes i hate myself with all my being and would literally love to vanish my unworthy existence but atleast y'all peasants ain't better than me lol

i hate having to get better like bitch just let me die 😫

It’s wild to me that I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t feel a literal knife cutting into my flesh