The Urge To Become Just A Fucking Horrible Person. The Urge To Just Destroy My Own Life And Watch My

“The sun watches what I do. But the moon knows all my secrets.”

— Unknown

— Virginia Woolf, from “Carlyle’s House and Other Sketches.”

Minor inconvenience:

Me: how about i end up in the fucking hospital how about that

It’s wild to me that I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t feel a literal knife cutting into my flesh

I hate how the antisocial dial being cranked up to full volume makes me have the urge to claw my way out of my own skin. Everything is unbearably boring, annoying, or just not enough for me when I'm like this. Something I don't like happens? Rage. I manage to actually enjoy something? I have to bleed it dry in an attempt to feel satisfied. I won't be.

It's extremely hard to care about anything I say or do, and my ability to mask drops to just about nothing.

- Rift

Contradiction: Rambling #3

16th April 2022, 23:53

I am a walking contradiction. I am in constant battle with myself. Sometimes I’m a boy, sometimes I’m a girl. Sometimes I’m a top, sometimes I’m a bottom. Sometimes I’m attracted to boys, sometimes I’m attracted to girls. Sometimes I want to get better, sometimes I want to see how worse I can get. Sometimes I want to be a good person, sometimes I want to kill people. Sometimes I am empathetic, sometimes I am apathetic. Sometimes I feel like the smartest, most beautiful person alive, sometimes I feel nothing short of a disgusting failure. That’s why my username is tokidokioki (sometimes okay). These are just a few examples among many. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I two faced? Do I have multiple personalities? A split personality? It is because I am a gemini? I feel like I’m faux, like I am an imposter. I don’t feel like I have a real personality because I’m always switching and swapping between things. I just want to know who I am. Who am I? What am I?

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

maybe all the signs were there-

maybe i just refused to see them.

after all, red flags just look like flags when you see them through rose colored glasses.

-why did i believe you when you said you'd never hurt me? c.r.

ARCANE RP FINDER

I just watched Arcane for the fourth time, and I’m looking for somebody to play Vi against my Caitlyn or Jayce against my Viktor.

I roleplay on Discord, am a literate writer, and use third person. NSFW is welcome, and I prefer to write as switches.

I love all kinds of themes including dead dove. We can discuss triggers and plot something together.

Please contact me or like this post if you’re interested! Thanks :)