Okay Maybe Today Wasn’t That Terrible

deleting all my dating apps because i want to find love the old-fashioned way (I beat your abusive dad into a coma using a spade. after 15 years of radio silence we become co-workers and happen to be so caught up in our interpersonal drama that we're shit at our job as cops. you keep your dad's multimillion euro bank robbery loot a secret from me after he attempts to frame you for his suicide. that I helped unveiling btw. i would go to ends of the world with you but apparently you prefer to go alone. I'm miserable. what was my point again)

Leo + Mitgefühl

Mir ist eben das Sprichwort "wie gewonnen so zerronnen" nicht eingefallen. Was mein Gehirn stattdessen daraus gemacht hat:

Wie geschissen so zerschlissen

Something funny about another wave of actors who starred in Harry Potter films coming out against the Supreme Court ruling - and therefore JK Rowling who funded the campaign.

– Atticus

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

Ja.

✨ Pia Heinrich + ao3 ✨

Part VII of the spatort + ao3 universe: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V and Part VI

Leo gibt halt so den Vibe von einem etwas blauäugigen „wenn ich alles richtig mache und mich an die Regeln halte wird schon alles gut“ und ich glaube das lässt sich nicht so gut mit Adams eingeprügeltem „egal was ich mache es ist eh falsch also isses auch egal wenn ich mich nicht an die Regeln halte“ vereinbaren