So. Apparently my husband (26m) didn't know narwhals were real until I told him recently. So far, it seems about a third of men have, at some point, assumed narwhals were fictional. We need more data now.
Cadet Echo, to Fives: It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad.
99: Oh that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?
Echo: I hit him.
Hazel McNab, Last Light, linocut.
BAMboozlers
Clark’s favourite post-big-mission-destress is using his super hearing to tune in to whatever bullshit Bruce has to deal with on the batplane ride back to Gotham with whatever batkids were on hand during the fight.
Bruce: alright is everybody strapped in-?
Tim: -fucking told you to move up- BRUCE TELL DAMIAN TO SHOVE IT
Jason: oh my god did you see Green Arrow eat shit when that guy shot at him?
Dick: Jason YOU shot him
Bruce: Damian you have to let Tim- Jason that was YOU-?
Jason: hey i TOLD him to move out the way it’s not my fault the bullet ricochetted off a lamppost into his leg-
Bruce: i told you to leave the real bullets at home- TIM STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER
Duke: WAIT I LEFT MY IPOD BACK AT THE FIGHT
Tim: how am i the one getting in trouble- HES LITERALLY GOT HIS KNIFE OUT
Damian: i told you if you got in my way during the battle you would regret it and WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Stephanie: shut up Damian you were totally about to kick it, Tim saved your ass.
Tim: THANK YOU! AND WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?
Jason: who the fuck takes an ipod to a fight we literally have bluetooth in the comms
Duke: who the fuck dies to the Joker he’s literally just a guy
Jason: OI-
Stephanie: *cackling*
Bruce: OK- Damian and Tim, opposite sides of the plane! Duke we can’t turn back now, i’ll just have to get you a new ipod-
Dick: BRUUUUUUUUCE JASONS BLEEEEDDDIIINNNNGGG
Jason: shut the fuck up you fucking snitch!
Bruce: WHO’S BLEEDING?!? JASON-
Stephanie: hey Duke can i paint your nails- TIM GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE
Damian: Father, Grayson has passed out
Bruce: WHAT-
Jason: HAH! I WIN THE BET HE FUCKING OWES ME 20 DOLLARS
Tim: what bet?
Jason: we both got stabbed so we didnt tell anyone to see who could stay awake the longest
Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-
Duke: do you guys even understand how many songs i had downloaded on that ipod? it was fucking engraved, man
Stephanie: Damian stop moving your fucking hands you’re gonna mess up the nail polish
Damian: I HAD TO ITCH MY NOSE
Jason: does anyone wanna see the video of Green Arrow eating shit or what?
Tim, Damian, Duke, Stephanie: YES
Bruce: WE HAVE TO GET DICK A BLOOD TRANSFUSION-
-back with the Justice League-
Clark: *sitting back with his eyes closed, a serene smile on his face*
Barry, whispering to Ollie: what’s he doing?
Ollie: i think it’s a post-battle meditation thing, calms him down
Barry: man, i should really start getting some healthier habits. i never bother meditating.
Ollie: he truly is an inspiration to all.
An Ezra for your pocket
The Light of Gotham
Kon: Tim, you were supposed to be at the restaurant like fifteen minutes ago, where are you?
Tim: On my way at *checks speedometer* 143 mph
Kon: Okay but where ARE you.
Tim: I'm sorry but heisenberg's uncertainty principle states that you cannot know both my speed and my location at the same time
terrible news: the only way to find out if something you create is gonna be good or bad is to actually create it
when in doubt, use your sibling as a blunt object
My screen in black and white mode when I first saw this. I assumed that Fives had simply been Fives. And then I read the caption and promptly had to turn my color back on for a second
HERE COMES REX WITH THE METAL CHAIR OHHHH