10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

She made it unrebloggable 😂

Men who hate women, Invisible Women Newsletter Feb 13 2023, Caroline Criado Perez

newsletter.carolinecriadoperez.com

Invisible Women: men who hate women

A message to the men who don't

if you try looking for a post using the tumblr search function it will never show up. but you know what will? a reader x character fic

Thank you for correcting me! I must need to do more research. I have been doing research on her, but I've misinterpreted the information, I guess. A lot of people referred to her as a she and have said she was a trans woman a lot of the time, so I misinterpreted it.

I shouldn't have brought someone I still need to do more research on into the conversation. I'm really sorry for that!

Instead of citing Marsha, I will cite myself. I am a trans male, so while I cannot speak for trans women, I can speak for the trans cause.

My argument with you & people with your stance is that you seem to try to assert some expertise over people with our lives, and it's. . . well, really rather arrogant. You can list everything you've got to back your opinions up but it won't change the fact that it's an opinion.

The facts you get are from people who know just as much about us as you do and people who do not make up the whole of us. An experience, however different it may be from mine, is still valid and the person with it is allowed to open up about it. It's beyond horrible that some of the trans community demonstrates the same prejudice that they claim to hate.

But again, they do not describe all of us.

There are those of us who don't advocate for hate or disgusting behavior. Many, actually. There are also those of us who are the way we are for a reason.

Whatever it is in your mind does not matter because you are not trans—even if you supported the trans community, you would not fully understand it.

Is that an excuse for people to say whatever nonsense they feel like?

No; but you can become blinded to any positivity we promote if you become accustomed to seeking the negativity. You don't just call out negativity in the trans community. You only call out the negativity and make negative judgements based off of your negative opinions. Based off of what you believe, what you have seen.

I was dumb to argue when I mentioned Marsha P. Johnson. I need to do more research next time I cite someone, even if I think I know what I'm talking about. Mind you, I'm sure, to you, it must sound completely ironic.

But my stance is—stop acting like you understand exactly what is going on in our minds, nor anything of what we may think because you have no firsthand experience to talk about who we are nor the open–mindedness to talk of us impartially.

You can make a list of the bad trans people, but there will always be good trans people, there will always be more to our community than you would be willing to see.

Now, I'm not acting as though I'm keeping some sort of secret from you because I don't have anything to back it up. I can speak, as a good ( I do try my best to be good to people, I'm sorry I was so rude to you to begin with ), decently–knowledgeable trans person, who knows good, knowledgeable trans people.

You are judging lives you would not understand enough to arrive at enough logic to label, debunk, or explain them.

You're talking about an experience I could never understand, but for years I've identified myself as trans (or at least gender fluid), when I was 14/16, and used he/him pronouns. I wanted to be a man, I covered my breasted and wore masculine clothes. I tried even to walk like a man. It felt right to me to use different pronouns but then I changed, because that's what happens during adolescence. If you look up (I studied psychology and pedagogy at school) adolescence is a period of changes, and a 17 years old teenager is different than his/her 16 years old self. Just by one year everything changes. And that's what happened to me, I grew up and I changed.

I know a lot of trans people, one is even a close friend of mine, and in my city there was a big friends group with all trans people. After a year or two (they were like 13-16 years old) a few of them call themselves "trans".

And I want to be clear, I respect people because it's not in my character to hate, but when I say "a trans woman is not a woman" and other people say "no, it's a real woman", it makes me angry. Because we're talking of common biology that is taught in schools.

For example: Blair White is a person I respect. She (wow I'm respecting her pronouns) is a transwoman and knows she will never be a real woman, just because of biology. In fact, Blair stated that doesn't want any bottom surgery because it has many risks. And from what I've learned, that's true. But I respect Blair, a transwoman, that says what is true. Because not a lot of people (like politicians) have the guts to say that a transwoman is just a man. And I know not all trans people are bad people, but why the majority of them hate detransitioners? Why the majority of them doesn't care about women voices, about women being not comfortable sharing a locker room or a bathroom with a biological male?

So, why transwomen talk about being women even if they're men?? They shouldn't talk about it, even calling themselves woman, because they don't know what it's like to be a woman. They never grew up being one.

Us radfems rely a lot on biology when we talk about transpeople, because we can't ignore it, especially when men play sports against women and they win, or when men are being put in prisons with woman and rape them, or when in other occasions society tries to be inclusive and put men in women category and gives all the recognition to men. But that doesn't happen with men, because I never saw a transman win against a biological man in a race or in a box fight. Transpeople should have, at this point, their own categories because it's unfair for woman to compete against man that are biologically stronger than us.

(It's good to have those interactions, sorry for eventual mistakes but English is my second language and sometimes I might sound angry but that's how I normally talk)

I am literally so done with coddling beauty-obsessed women’s feelings. I used to be all “oh no I’m not judging you” when my friends would accuse me of such things cause they shave and wear makeup. And it was true but I have officially lost my patience for that shit.

Women who shave and wear makeup have always been the ones who have judged me for not doing such things. All that “you’re judging me” crap is projection so here’s my response:

I am judging the fuck out of you. I roll my eyes when I see you’re in heels. I wanna kick you out of the bathroom when I see you putting on makeup. I think you’re a fool when you’re legs are perfectly smooth. I think you’re pathetic to be at your age 25, 35, 55, and still care about beauty standards for men. If you haven’t figured it out by now, you’re a lost cause.

I love how we are supposed to think that men have a monopoly on logic and rationality when one of their favorite problem-solving strategies is “kill my entire family and then myself”

It's monstrous how much boys and men love tormenting girls and women. The way so many boys and men actually love scaring and upsetting girls and women on purpose because they think it's funny.

I'm thinking specifically about how I have some phobias of bugs, and I specifically have to hide that from men because once they find out they purposely show me the bugs I'm afraid of to torment me because they think it's funny and cute to torment and upset a woman. Like when one of my male co-workers at my old job found out I was arachnophobic after that he made a point of if he found a spider in the store he'd purposely try to shove it in my face because he thought it was funny and cute to scare me and make me upset. I've had multiple instances of grown male co-workers behaving like this but never a grown female co-worker. Sure, I'm sure there's at least a few grown women in the world out there like that, but for the most part this behavior is only seen in small girls but quickly corrected and beat out of her while men are still tormenting women for fun as grown adults.

Or my mother has a pretty bad phobia of frogs, and she told me a story about how when she was a little girl some boys found out, and they specifically made it a point to collect frogs from outside to throw at her. One time they cornered her in the bathroom and threw buckets of frogs at her, she was sobbing and shaking and having a full blown panic attack while they were laughing. It was for no other reason than they thought it was funny to make a girl upset and scared.

And this ties in with how often if a girl or woman asks a boy or man to stop doing something that bothers her or annoys her they double down and start doing the behavior even more just because they want to upset girls and women. Like schoolgirls asking the boy next to her to stop drumming with his pencils because it's distracting her from being able to pay attention to class, how likely is it he'll actually stop vs just doing it even more loudly and frequently just to bother her? If this is a lifelong pattern for girls this makes girls back off and less likely to stand up to boys and men.

If a girl has for years had a pattern of every time she asks the boys in her class to stop drumming with their pencils while she's trying to pay attention or stop saying gross sexual jokes that make her uncomfortable to her during class or stop poking her and every time they just double down and start doing it even more and even louder or harder just to upset her, is she going to keep asking boys to stop doing things that bother her? Is she going to feel comfortable and safe standing up for herself and asserting her boundaries? Or is she going to get quiet and stop speaking up and hope for the love of god they don't notice the annoyance on her face because if they do that's enough just to make them double down and start doing it more to bother her?

I've seen countless examples of men purposely making women so scared or upset or angry that they're in tears for no other reason than fun and entertainment. Boys and men are fucking sadistic demons. And this keeps girls and women in line, keeps girls and women from being able to stand up for ourselves and assert our personal boundaries to boys and men.