RIP “it’s On Like Donkey Kong”

  디어엠 ,  차민호

he’s so great, i love him

…or masterpost about ziall. A VERY RANDOM ONE. you can’t possibly systematize zayn and niall, they are just love and happiness and love and protectiveness and caring and did i mention love?

so, anyway, let’s just talk about ziall for a while. i don’t know where they stand now and neither does anyone here, so let’s talk about what we know and what we have seen alright happy ziall

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I feel like Niall misses Zayn in his way Like Zayn was the one Niall let be extra touchy extra everything extra in love with him always touching him always looking at him and….. Zayn as the only one Niall actually reciprocated feelings for and moments and looks and touches like  I feel Niall will be there chilling watching derby by himself bc the others think hes so annoying with the shouting and all but he cant help it it is his beloved derby and suddenly he sees Zayn walking in with this lazy smile of his Niall feels that are reserved just for him and the mornings they used to spend together tangled in the sheets  with a warm feeling in his chest he smiles back and then suddenly feels his arm being lifted and sees Zayn cuddling against him so he just kisses his head and gets even more comfortable i feel like those moments haunt him and he just tries to ignore them and push all these feelings at the back of his head but they eventually come back every night hes on his bed trying to sleep but not being able to bc he misses Zayn in his arms, Zayn soft snores when hes extra tired and Zayn cheeky smile when he gets Niall hard  im sad bye 

“I felt heavy my whole life. I always thought that death would be the heaviest thing of all, but it wasn’t, it really wasn’t. Life was like being dragged through concrete in circles, wet and setting concrete that dried with each rotation of my unwilling body. As a child, I was light. It didn’t matter too much; I slid through it, and maybe it even felt like a game, like I was just playing in mud, like nothing about that slipperiness would ever change, not really. But then I got bigger and it started drying on me and eventually I turned into an uneven block, chipping and sparking on the hard ground, tearing off into painful chunks. I wanted to stay empty, like the eagle in the proverb, left to perch, my bones filled with air pockets, but heaviness found me and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t shake it off; I couldn’t transform it, evaporate or melt it. It was distinct from me, but it hooked itself into my body like a parasite. I couldn’t figure out if something was wrong with me or if this was just my life—if this was just how people felt like concrete was dragging their flesh off their bones.”

— The Death of Vivek Oji, Akwaeke Emezi

It starts around 14:50 please listen and write what you thinkk i need opinions im so happy he called him Zayno he sounded genuine imo

My thoughts in a jumbled mess of feelings and incorrect paraphrased quotes:

i’m not sure he actually calls him Zayno? It sounds to me more like he said “Zayn, oh.” As much as I wish it were otherwise. 

NIALL DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHY HE LEFT. HE TRIES BUT HE CANT QUITE PUT HIS FINGER ON IT. HES THOUGHT AND THOUGHT AND CANT QUTIE IDENTIFY IT AND THAT NAGS AT HIM. WHY WOULD ZAYN WANT TO LEAVE HIM? 

“That worked out well for both of us” Interesting narrowing down to just you and him Niall. Hmmmmmmm

INSTANT DEFENSE OF ZAYN “some people are just like that, not emotional in that sense”–don’t you dare diminish Zayn’s way of being and expressing emotion it is just as valid and Niall will not stand for it

NO ARGUMENTS. maybe that bit is party line but Niall just shuts it down hardcore. THERE WERE NO ARGUMENTS

there’s a great regretful sigh. Niall is happy that it worked out, that they’re all happy, that Zayn’s happier–but the sigh. Oh, that sigh. Heaved of pain and the long struggle to get to that point and the regret that Zayn couldn’t be happy with them

“His heart couldn’t be in it as much as he wanted it to be” I don’t know it was just interesting that he phrased it in that way–that it wasn’t as much as zayn wanted it to be. There’s an interesting note there about passionate, impulsive Zayn who needs to be all in about something. 

“not for a while no”–Niall didn’t see it coming for long. Do you think it blindsided him a little? That Niall didn’t conceive of it as a possibility? But also NO ZAYN WASNT PULLING AWAY FOREVER THIS WASN’T FOREVER IN COMING NIALL KNOWS ZAYN LOVED IT ONCE AND FOR A LONG TIME HE WILL CLING TO THAT. 

In other words: i have a lot of feels, but it feels sincere? Maybe that’s me projecting onto Niall, who is of course just as media trained as the rest of them, but I hope it’s genuine, the affection where he says he’s happy, and the mixed up emotions in it. As I said–as long as Niall ships OT5, i’m okay. 

green in kristen sims’ paintings

on love arriving unannounced

poems about oranges

The Orange by Wendy Cope // Oranges, Really by Eleanor Risteen Gordon // The Stolen Orange by Brian Patten // Oranges by Gary Soto // Why I Am Not a Painter by Frank O'hara // Color by Christina Rossetti // Hey World, Here I Am! by Jean Little // The Boy Who Sells Sweet Oranges by Alicia Cadilla (trans. by H. R. Hays)

Winnie the Pooh Mugs & Kettles

“They call us now, before they drop the bombs. The phone rings and someone who knows my first name calls and says in perfect Arabic “This is David.” And in my stupor of sonic booms and glass-shattering symphonies still smashing around in my head I think, ‘Do I know any Davids in Gaza?’ They call us now to say Run. You have 58 seconds from the end of this message. Your house is next. They think of it as some kind of war-time courtesy. It doesn’t matter that there is nowhere to run to. It means nothing that the borders are closed and your papers are worthless and mark you only for a life sentence in this prison by the sea and the alleyways are narrow and there are more human lives packed one against the other than any other place on earth Just run. We aren’t trying to kill you. It doesn’t matter that you can’t call us back to tell us the people we claim to want aren’t in your house that there’s no one here except you and your children who were cheering for Argentina sharing the last loaf of bread for this week counting candles left in case the power goes out. It doesn’t matter that you have children. You live in the wrong place and now is your chance to run to nowhere. It doesn’t matter that 58 seconds isn’t long enough to find your wedding album or your son’s favorite blanket or your daughter’s almost completed college application or your shoes or to gather everyone in the house. It doesn’t matter what you had planned. It doesn’t matter who you are. Prove you’re human. Prove you stand on two legs. Run.”

— Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, Running Orders