You Are Beautiful In Your Own, Warped Little Way!

Discworld x Tolkien crossover where Vimes arrests the One Ring for being an accessory to murder

Ough

Uno Reverse

Constantine is breaking up another summoning, and it is...not going well.

They summoned a being from the Infinite Realms.

Said being is trying to break it's containment.

Constantine was hit with what was supposed to be a life-ending spell, only to wake up to the barrier beginning to crack.

He feels weird, he's smaller than he should be (probably deaged fuck), and fuck it all he's scared.

But the noise that comes out of his mouth is not a scream.

It's a chirp.

High and warbling, and the Infinite Realms being, covered in purple fire and black armor, freezes upon hearing it.

"You dare to kidnap one of our young?! The High King will have your heads!" And with that noble declaration, the terrifying spirit retreats back into the Infinite Realms.

The cultists look terrified.

John is still terrified, but also confused.

Basically, with how often John's in contact with death and magic, and how often he damages his soul, with the hit of a lethal spell his own magic sought to protect him by merging his soul with his physical body.

Constantine becomes a halfa.

Due to how little of his soul was left, his ghost form looks six.

Fright Knight sees a genuine baby ghost, not even an hour old, sprawled on the ground and crying for help.

Now John has to figure out what he is, why he's jumping between adult and child forms, what his weird new magic is, and how to stop a war with the Infinite Realms.

do the last (4) jedi ever consult quinlan vos if they realize they don't know something lol? i think it'd be hilarious if they've struggled to piece together their remaining jedi knowledge for years with their varying levels of training and force ghost aid only to find out that there's been a temple-trained jedi master kicking around this entire time.

realistically they probably don't find out he's alive, but this idea's too good to pass up

(commission info // kofi support!)

okay i know Hardeen was a Terrible arc for everyone involved, but what if Obi Wan had told Anakin about faking his death? Anakin’s like no worries dude I Got This, except he really. does not,,

the only reason his “acting” is remotely believable is because almost no one has seen him like this before, so it must be due to all the grief and loss and heartbreak and anger and whatnot

he starts by sobbing over Obi Wan’s supposedly dead body for a solid two hours when Obi gets shot down. “LOOK at him, so cold and Lifeless. D: HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND FULL OF LIFE, SNIPS. I know last week I checked his pulse because he was meditating so calmly I thought he passed away in his sleep, BUT HE’S USUALLY SO WARM AND FULL OF LIFE.”

It goes on until Anakin has finished everything on his painstakingly written Outline from last night. At least half of Coruscant hears part of this speech. Mace sends Obi the security footage later, at a time he knows Anakin will be there to sit through it with Obi, because if we had to suffer then you do too, Obi Wan. 

then at the funeral, Anakin pulls out a twenty foot scroll of real actual paper, because he would appreciate this, I think, and clears his throat loudly and messily before telling the council that he has prepared a few words for the greatest jedi this order, nay, this GALAXY has ever seen, and will ever see, no matter how long any of us live—

five hours later,, he’s still going strong. half the eulogy is Terrible and V Cringeworthy, but the other half is actually v heartfelt and moving. even Mace and Yoda have to blink away some tears. 

it becomes easier after Anakin starts going into Unnecessary Details about obi wan’s life, like how he’ll miss holding onto those heavy 327 thread count woolen robes when he’s saving obi’s ass (curvature 48.5 degrees) for the 23094th time, and how he’ll never see a more sincere expression of Compassion than he saw when reading line 83 of Obi Wan’s eighth letter to Duchess Satine last month, quoted now as follows— 

Ahsoka enlists Plo Koon’s help and they finally shuffle him over to the side, promising him they can finish his fake eulogy at the council dinner tonight. Obi Wan’s death may be fake, but MY WORDS ARE REAL, SNIPS, HOW DARE YOU. says Anakin, before he (a little gleefully) starts destroying the walls to show how Emotionally Compromised he is over this 100% real death. 

he takes the 212th drinking, after having told all of them, too. so now there are 293637 men crying about Obi Wan (relatable af, y/y), all of which have the acting talent of a wilted blade of grass. there are 283747 toasts, and every single person there cries for each and every one of them, despite everyone knowing obi is still alive

Credits to @Hakusi_Katei from X/Twitter

I hate when people ask me about my preference but I don’t understand their preference level. Like yes I kinda want Chinese food 10% more than I want a sandwich but if you want a sandwich like 40% more than Chinese food then I would say it’s totally reasonable we get sandwiches.

no punctuation we read like romans

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.