You Know What I Realized When I Re-watched CATFA? When Erskine Was Talking To Steve The Night Before

You know what I realized when i re-watched CATFA? When Erskine was talking to Steve the night before he would take the serum, he told him that "The serum amplifies everything that is inside, so good becomes great; bad becomes worse.” Which made me wonder about the what the serum Hydra gave Bucky did to him. Bucky was always a good person. He was, in a lot of ways, like Steve. I’m pretty sure Steve always looked up to Bucky, and Bucky always admired Steve (even if Steve wasn’t aware of it). They both had a strong sense of justice, they wanted to protect the ones they loved, and they believed in fighting the good fight.

When Steve became Captain America, everything good about him was enhanced, not just physically, but everything that made Steve Rogers special - His kindness, his empathy, his will and trust - everything good became great.

Maybe Hydra’s serum wasn’t as perfect as Erskine’s, but would any of the effects be similar? Bucky was always good. His own kindness, his protectiveness, his selflessness, and compassion - would’ve all been enhanced along with his strength. But Hydra took measures to destroy everything good about him after injecting him. They put him through hell; tortured him, brainwashed him, dehumanized him to the point where he was treated like a tool, a weapon, and nothing more. The Winter Soldier could not be good, only a puppet following orders. The Winter Soldier went against everything Bucky Barnes ever was. I think that’s why it hurts so much to realize that Bucky, the person who would never do anything to harm an innocent person, had to watch himself kill and hurt harmless people over and over again; to him, that was probably worse than any torture he endured. Hydra destroyed Bucky Barnes from the inside out.

But even after all of that - all the pain, torture, abuse, memory wipes, and guilt - after forgetting who he was and what made him him, Bucky came out of it wanting nothing but to be good. He was on the run for two years before Cap found him and he had no intention of harming anyone. The kindhearted, selfless, protective man was still in there. And after everything, he makes the choice to protect others from him. He knows he has the potential to hurt people and he doesn’t want to take that risk. The last thing Bucky ever wants to do is harm anyone else. So he makes the choice to go back under. Despite what he probably really wants to do - live his life with Steve and the rest - he sacrifices that freedom to protect everyone, especially his best friend. As much as I didn’t want to see him be put back on ice, I understand why he needed to. Because everything special about Bucky Barnes was enhanced by the serum - his heart, humanity, love, and need to protect others - he needed to go back under because that’s who Bucky inherently is.