Louis T., 2013. “Always” (p. 28, Para. 9)

B.raV.O.

Dear (b    n),

You’re: another shade of perfect that won’t match with my skin; a walking perfect disaster (a soft, soft sin).

You’re: a little too late — but still a wonderful feel — of autumn bliss; another fairytale worth a poisoned apple kiss.

You’re: pale, yet rosy and gray; midnight rumblings of ‘stay stay stay.’

You’re: a loss of breath; a wrong kind of fret.

You’re: my wrong-timing, my would-have, my what-if; my probably, my maybe.

Yours,

(eusie.)

Unexpectedly

too many poems too many unrequited love too many broken hearts and too many bruises and unwanted scars

too many persons oblivious to what they did

to gain existence in another world

a world called poetry

(eusie.)

Look and you'll see

a.k.a. I’ll try to write about you one more time ft. Love is…

Your eyes speak of daydreams turned into wishful thoughts that keep me awake at night; like perfectly made snowflakes that’ll tickle my nose as they fall, only they slip away from my skin. The way you breathe is like a memory I cannot remember to forget. And sometimes, I can’t believe myself, that I feel every move of the air surrounding you like how I feel your every existence — your presence within my radius. But know this: I’ll never get to see if your heart rages out of your ribcage as our eyes meet, or get to know if you deny the urge to create chaos inside your lungs once you realize I’m standing near you. Because I don’t know if I’m the only one who doesn’t try to ignore the cry of our souls, or maybe it’s really just me who feels like crying. You look like a falling star, only I’m the one who’s falling and I’m full of wishes about you. And know this: sometimes love is never having what you want like how I can’t have you. In the end, time is the only one I trust to blow me away from the havoc inside my head created by you.

(eusie.)

i can taste the tears from the way you write and i can hear your heart cracking each time you speak

an excerpt from a poem i wrote and deleted, pt. 1 (eusie.)

Could it be / that besides the moon, / there’s one planet / who also fell for the sun? / Could it be / that she was broken, / and because she cannot bleed, / she cried until she died / while her tears scattered across the Milky Way / and they’re the stars / we see in the evening sky?

April 21, 2014 (eusie.)

i want to travel. until i fall in love with a place (a city) or a person (a home). and settle down.

a part two of something before this (eusie.)

Here’s to someone, pt. 3

Dear (h    n),

You should know by now that this is about you

But if you’re not in love with me too then I doubt that you do

There were no fireworks or violins playing beautifully the heaven didn’t open its gates and set out its angels to sing love songs

No when my eyes first landed on yours I got stranded on the crooked smile on your lips and on the calm sea surrounding you

I think that’s when I realize that I might end up sinking that I might end up drowning

And I didn’t know if I should be afraid

But this feeling this magical feeling each time I saw the sparkle in your eyes when I glanced at you

But this feeling

I knew it won’t run away from me but stay and hide in each of my veins and my heart will explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you

I knew I knew I would fall for you

The second time my eyes landed on you the crooked smile was back but the calm sea was now a storm

And I was already sinking

And and and then

You said my name

I think that’s when I realize that I might end up drowning next

And I still didn’t know if I should be afraid

But this feeling this magical feeling was still there each time I saw the sparkle in your eyes when I glanced at you and as if you stitched my soul my heart craved and craved for your attention and for you to say my name again

But this feeling

I knew it won’t run away from me and my heart will explode from every word escaping your lips each time you speak to me with every hair on my skin you lit up each time you smile at me my heart will definitely explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you more

I knew I knew I was falling for you

The third time my eyes landed on you

I, I, I

I think I was already crazy but there were fireworks there were violins playing on the background and the heaven opened its gates to let the angels sing their love songs

And with the clouds smiling at me and the wind whispering a happy melody

I got stranded I sank

And I definitely was drowning and already falling

And I wasn’t afraid

Because this feeling this magical feeling did not run away from me and my heart will continue to explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you endlessly

I love you I love you I’m in love with you

And you should know by now that this is about you

But if you’re not in love with me too then I doubt that you do

Yours sincerely,

(eusie.)

[title]

hey... i miss you he says

        my lungs die &         for a moment,                    i feel skinless

[“i love to say goodbyes”]

        i tame myself &         breathless,                           i say

i miss... being in love with you

(eusie.)

Itagaki Rihito 板垣李光人 (2021) Hair, makeup & styling by Takae Kamikawa

i still think we're soulmates. but maybe that's just the hopeless romantic in me