Mga Pekeng Bulaklak

Itagaki Rihito 板垣李光人 (2021) Hair, makeup & styling by Takae Kamikawa

'Cause I want a love that's meant to be.

while looking at two people, I asked no one in particular, are they each other's twin flame? (eusie.)

i want to travel. until i fall in love with a place (a city) or a person (a home). and settle down.

a part two of something before this (eusie.)

two things i thought about tonight

i.     The moon is painful to look at;     you, on the other hand,       make my heart ache when I stare at you.     How disturbing.

ii.      And it’s harsh, isn't it?          When someone you like        doesn't care about you?

(eusie.)

Music Volume 8.1.12.1

a.k.a. The eight tracks of my life when it comes to you

(1) A recurring dream: you say to me, “It’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” Sometimes, with your mouth; soft bubbles came out of those lips, eyes shaking as if you were afraid that I won’t ever get to know; so I believed it was true. Sometimes, in a note; written in a hurry, tugging all of my fingers and pressing it onto me like a sacred promise; so I believed it won’t be broken.

(2) But I wake up, breathless and sweating, soulless and aching, and... you weren’t here.

(3) When I sit down for a minute and ponder about my decisions, I come back to those times when we have conversations past midnight. I would remember you looking at me like I were a secret you still kept, still deciding if you would let go or keep hold of. Those gentle touches in the soft light, more tender than everything illuminated by the moon.

(4) I wish I would have done something. Anything.

(5) Yet, you’re still a smoke that keeps on dancing through my nostrils I am yet to get out of my system.

(6) I used to love the first few times when you starred in my dreams. But ever since you closed your eyes each time I start to tremble out your name from my lips, I stopped wondering about the crinkles by your eyes. I stopped trying to miss the way you laugh, stopped trying to make you laugh. I stopped whispering prayers. I stopped altogether.

(7) At some nights, I don’t want to sleep anymore; I’m tired of sleeping. I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway. And I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway even if I’m awake.

(8) A recurring thought: I’ll ask you, “Will I keep holding on? Should I still love you?” I’ll ask you if ever get the chance.

things you don’t know: if he loves you back you think he might

Look and you'll see

a.k.a. I’ll try to write about you one more time ft. Love is…

Your eyes speak of daydreams turned into wishful thoughts that keep me awake at night; like perfectly made snowflakes that’ll tickle my nose as they fall, only they slip away from my skin. The way you breathe is like a memory I cannot remember to forget. And sometimes, I can’t believe myself, that I feel every move of the air surrounding you like how I feel your every existence — your presence within my radius. But know this: I’ll never get to see if your heart rages out of your ribcage as our eyes meet, or get to know if you deny the urge to create chaos inside your lungs once you realize I’m standing near you. Because I don’t know if I’m the only one who doesn’t try to ignore the cry of our souls, or maybe it’s really just me who feels like crying. You look like a falling star, only I’m the one who’s falling and I’m full of wishes about you. And know this: sometimes love is never having what you want like how I can’t have you. In the end, time is the only one I trust to blow me away from the havoc inside my head created by you.

(eusie.)

Thank you for the judgment. I will eat them all till they fill my stomach with nothing but your words. I will let them burn all what’s inside of me till I die, and I will visit you and whisper these things you’ve said so you can eat them too and I will come out of your body and conquer your soul.

January 26, 2014 (eusie.)

im sorry if my writings are not full of feelings. ill stop. okay

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

Emery Allen