Switching From Fine To Depressed And/or Near Suicidal Like A Traffic Light 😭

1/27 work out

I decided to record my workouts from PE today and these were the stats

Badminton: open goal

total time: 1 hour and 17 min

Active cal: 374cal

total cal: 447cal

Average hr: 146BPM range: 95-187bpm

I walked a total of 3,612 steps and closed two of rings. my goal was to burn 300 cals and went a total go 142 over that. And I try to work out for 30 minutes each day.

I feel like I did pretty great today, I feel well accomplished in my workout today. I do badminton for my college PE credit and Im honestly debating on joining the schools team, my coach seems to think I would do pretty well on it.

today we worked on improving our aim as well as our swing range and boy was it a lot of squatting, my thighs feel like their going to melt off- but in a good way-. i'm getting pretty close to having a healthy thigh gap. like Im getting to my goal weight by working out and turning the fat into muscle instead of starving myself to get there, and i'm proud of myself for it.

Well, actually funny story!

(Proceeds to tell you the most wild, traumatizing, sad and tragic story you ever heard)

man this hits me right where it hurts…

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.

I got my septum pierced yesterday and it’s amazing, downside I didn’t tell my mom…

I’m almost 19, but my Hispanic mother will always spook me

ok so, my second semester of college starts soon, and im already starting it off in a bad mental state. I got an email saying that im being placed on academic probation :/

im thinking about posting about how my days go a little bit more and what it's like trying to get off of that probation.

Tw sorry lol

man I would love to slit my wrists rn but I can’t since I have to get labs done in a few weeks and I know that they won’t be healed by then. I might just go it on my tights tho but that’s an awkward place to me yk

I thought I’d be dead by now

date idea: u tell me exactly how u feel about me in specific detail until my brain calms down and stops thinking u hate me

feeling unwanted ruins my whole fucking day