Ebay Rainbow Typewriters

I keep thinking about that straight girls in gay bars post and so here’s a list of things that straight people have done to me or around me in gay bars

I ask a pretty girl if she wants to dance. She looks at me with disgust and says, “I’m not gay” in the snottiest valley girl voice I’ve ever heard. 

A short greasy dude will not leave me the fuck alone at the bar. I tell him multiple times “I am a lesbian.” He says, “me too” and in the same breath tells me I’ll like it if I try it. When the guy steps away to talk to his friend, three gay men surround me and buy me a drink and swear to keep him away from me for the rest of the night.

2am, drunk, cheering on my favorite local drag queen on stage. A contestant from Dr*g R*ce is in the audience, hanging out, supporting her friends. The straight girls next to me spot her and start shrieking at the top of their lungs and trying to get to her. Security escorts the contestant elsewhere so no one could get near her. Not a single straight person in the audience tips any of the performing queens. 

I’m by myself on the dance floor, feeling myself to Bey, as you do. A man comes up to me and starts dancing. After a minute, he starts grinding on me and tries to kiss me. I put my hand in his face and tell him I’m a lesbian. He says something very vulgar that I don’t completely remember because I was drunk af. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the dance floor completely. I end up on the patio with a beautiful butch girl and when I tell her what just happened, she offers to beat him up for me. 

A girl with a bachelorette party, telling me, with complete seriousness, that she was just discriminated against at the bar for being straight. What happened? The bartender didn’t pay attention to her immediately and she had to wait “forever” for her drink. 

Related: Almost every negative review of my favorite gay bar is by a straight person. At least half of them claim that the bartenders or bouncers discriminated against them. 

And then this one isn’t bad, it just made me laugh when it happened 

Guy: hey can you ask the bartender for a drink for me? They usually pay more attention to girls Me: oh baby not here they don’t lol Guy: ?? Me: This is a gay bar, sweetheart Guy: I… oh… *looks at the shirtless male bartenders, the go go boys, the rainbow flags, the drag queen behind me, the glitter everywhere* *walks away in a daze*

[Hats off to all mushrooms!]

I can do both, and I would describe the abstract thoughts as being sort of like when you have a word on the tip of your tongue, but without the urgency. You know the word and the meaning, even if you can't put a sound to it.

This is earth shattering, I can’t believe there are people, who don’t think in sentences??? What the fuck is an abstract non-verbal thot? Y’all hoes think in Pictionary???? What the fuck

*marge simpson holding a potato voice* I just think he’s neat

keep forgetting i cant digest avocado until its too late

sometimes...reddit is ok...

modern art

Klingon medical science is so funny like they can surgically implant a whole dude into another dude and make him jason bourne but if you break your leg they just take you out back and shoot you like a lame horse.