When I Hope, I Drown

And once again, I endured the pain, I never caused.

~ark

Done being the PUNCHING BAG.

Free

I walked on the wet path, While the earth pulled me close. Splashing my face in the water, Its stillness reflected my unfulfilled vows. I ran far away, To be free and fly. I broke all the barriers, I thought held me back. But I realised, I was a kite, Taking a directionless flight, I broke the string of my life, Thinking I would finally be alive

I am but drained, even without doing much, downright exhausted, struggling to find reasons, motivation or such, to survive.

- DG

Blinded Eyes

I trusted my eyes blindly,

I guess that's what humans do.

But my illusion shattered,

As the pigments of lies,

Reflected the fictitious truth.

The light was biased, I believed,

But its innocence was trapped in an endless loop.

Refusing to bow before the unproven facts,

I decided to perceive it with a different view.

I tried to become a pigment myself,

Reflecting my sins into actions my apathy sew.

But the law of the cosmos remained constant,

I surrendered, confessing to my vengeance's coup.

~ark

Maybe they were better without my helping hand, Sucking on my feelings, I became a barren land, Maybe for them, I was never more than a friendship band.

~ark

"People empty me. I have to get away to refill."

– Charles Bukowski

Falling

I was falling, Deep into the air. It felt like I was flying, Descending in the layers. The ground would catch me, Why would I fear? Numerous hands tried to save me, I was just flying, why do they care? My excuses came to an end, I wish I would've dared. But, even if I held someone's hand, How do I assure myself, That those hands won't leave me, In the middle of somewhere.

~ark

Undefined

The noise of the world penetrated within, Settling deep inside,  Trying to stir the dead silence that hung,  Hiding beneath the mask of peace.

I never knew why but a sense of void grew, A hollow too stubborn to consume me and not contain me.

I remained indifferent, a way to run away, Forgetting, remembering, cherishing, regretting, Thoughts like water, flowing through my fingers, trying to cage them.

In this whirlwind of life, The feeling of being lost lingered, The fear of messing up,  The embarrassment of being monotonous,  Being too weak to overcome, being too stubborn to move on.

Forcing myself to understand everything, To make sense, to become understandable. Not being too loud, not too silent, Nothing extreme, to avoid attention.

I kept searching for definitions, A way to find meaning of something in my life, A way to define myself, But maybe,  I was fluid, changing itself with changing places.

Too difficult to be bound by boundaries, Yet too soluble, To completely dissolve in me to feel me To be with me was to be contaminated by me An existence, to be ignored for being a necessity; valued in scarcity, A shape, full, but never whole. A story remembered but never told.

~ark

Choice

I waited when I wasn't spoken to

I waited for my turn

I was just an option after all waiting to be chosen

To be the answer the correct one

Wasn't it important to change for the question?

Patience is the key they say

But why was I expecting to be the one?

Life is a reflection of our choices

When did I choose to become an option?

~ark

And then, I found home in an unfamiliar voice, And peace in the familiar noise.

~ark