Why Did I Think Of You? 😂😂😂

Hello, Starshine! Greetings, tumblr visitors!

Welcome to the official Willy Wonka Tumblr page! I shake you warmly by the hand. ✨

My name is Willy Wonka, & this tumblr will be dedicated to answering all of your burning questions & discussing a bit about my chocolate factory, such as how I make my chocolate, what ingredients are best to use for the absolute best quality & how I passed the Chocolate Manufacturing exam & became the youngest chocolatier in history.

Not to mention loads of fun sharing secret recipes (not mine, oh heavens no), sneak peeks inside the factory, news, updates & more! I personally will also be sharing some valuable advice as to how to become a great chocolatier like myself for the aspiring!

Although since I am quite busy running the factory, my Oompa Loompas will take over every now & again to operate my page. They just insisted I needed social media accounts. For now I bid you good day & until then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

Maybe, but you came at me first. Why are you always on the defensive whenever I talk about Alice? She's a terrible girl who doesn't know up from down or left from right half the time. She spiked your tea, what more evidence do you need? I think your top hat is a little too tight, Tarrant.

I'm sorry for our little fight earlier. This new herbal tea I'm drinking has me acting strange. Emphasis on herbal. I think Alice spiked it

All is forgiven. And since we're apologizing, I'm sorry for telling Edward that you're a no good gap tooth tea-drinking scallywag. Heh.

I'm not sorry for my comments about Alice, though. I stand by them, and now you see what I mean for yourself. She's clearly got you tripping off the herbs. What is it this time? Opium Poppy? Tsk tsk.

Oh, yeah, well it's simple.

1.: I'm weird and curious what it feels like

2.: I'm curious about 1: those gloves you wear all the time and how they feel and 2: if your hands are like I imagine them

These gloves don't come off, but you can touch them if you'd like.

Just no bare hand to hand skin contact, corona is still going around as well. We can't risk it.

If a girl's coochie smells like tuna fish is that bad for men? Asking for a friend 😅😐😶🤐

I think m-maybe that's a q-question for your gynecologist, dear girl.

...Heh...yeah. Gynecologist.

I'm not a doctor. I'm a chocolatier. I make chocolate. 'Kay?

Wait when Augustus fell in your chocolate river you said it was hot chocolate right?

Yes, hot melted chocolate. Oddly enough, I think he got the worst of it. Could have left him with some serious burns. He did tell me that he now has skin discoloration from the chocolate peeling off in pieces with layers of his skin, and now he's afraid of Wonka bars. Haha! Can you imagine?!

That's what you get for being greedy.☝️😌

It's slave labor cause the oompa loompas were taken out of their country and now working for you, you know that right??

Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. It's only slave labor when you're taken forcefully and forced to work against your will for no wages. That goes against my code. The Oompa Loompas agreed to come work in the factory because they would be living in better conditions and would have their precious cocoa beans in trade for their work. It was a business agreement, which is the same as a verbal contract. How you could imply such a nonsensical accusation with so much confidence and very little knowledge is entirely beyond me.

I need to have a word with you and Edward privately please. 😁 IMMEDIATELY 😠

Oh...

Yeah sure, one moment, Tarrant.

Daddy wonka

You calling people darling makes people faint but I'm people

Oh. Have I called someone darling recently?

You're pretty and I'm gay -

and now I'm going to hide away in embarassment, bye !

Oh, thank you for the compliment!