The Shade You Be Throwing At Alice, Mike, And Augustus On Here And The Way You Be Responding To Your

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

Do you actually need that cane or is it just decoration

Also is your can edible as well

It's simply an accessory that I like to keep around. Well the cane itself isn't edible but I can fill it with candy too! Currently it has Nerds in it. You know those wonderful little sweet and colorful candies made by Wonka? Yeah, those. Those are the little things inside of it, in case you were wondering. Ha ha!

Everybody scared to ask so I'ma ask: since you're single what do you do when you're horny? Do you get sexual urges and if you do how do you deal with them?

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That nickname makes my soul melt somehow.

So, I'm just gonna stick around then, ask you weird questions, leave to get some ice cream from time to time, and give you my unshared platonical love and adoration!

Terrific then! Do stick and around and pick my brain from time to time, I'm sure I'd enjoy it, or at the least, be thoroughly amused. I hope that ice cream you're occasionally buying is non-melting and Wonka brand, by the way. For the sake of my own pleasure I'll just assume it is! ☺️

Silly question:

Are you bad at math?

No, I'm actually really good at math, to my own surprise.

I have always hated numbers until they had to be incorporated into my business (pricing, costs, investments, income, salaries, etc). Maybe that's why I'm good at math after all.

You can't tell me that this isn't purple in your eyes there.

As I said before, my dear girl, it's just reflectiveness and dimension. I have a pair of sparkly eyes! Haha.

'Kay, I'm not interested in the details. They're gone, it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care. If you bullied them then grow up, if you didn't then I wasn't talking to you. The end.

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

Augustus, if we were friends you would eat me...😒

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

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So your eyes are not purple? I mean that's fine of course, but I liked to think there's some kind of magic behind your eyes.

Oh, well...I'm sorry to disappoint you. But there has always been magic behind these eyes, rest assured, dear! It's how I create all my delicious chocolate, you gotta have the vision and the magic! ☺️