What's A Secular Song That Get You Lit? 😂

Sure, I don't really care for names either.

I don't do much. I'm just there, I talk a lot of weird stuff, and I like cats.

Nevermind anonymous then, I'll stick with calling you Cocoa Bean. Yes, I like that much better. It's got a chocolate-y ring to it.

I used a app that changes your face and when I used your face it changed my face to a girl. The app thinks you're a woman and put lipstick on my face because your lips are really pink it had me laughing so fucking hard. This is proof you're a pretty ass sexy delicious but feminine man. That's all I had to say love u bye sugar 😂😂😂😂😂😂

That-....

Well maybe your app is just crappy and it confuses features and gender often, more than you think. ....S'not my fault you got a two star crappy app. 😒

I wanna taste your lips 😘 I know you're sweet like sugarcane 💕💗

Silly girl, if you would like to taste me then you could simply just eat me, I am eatable after all. Though I'm afraid that isn't a bright idea, unless you'd like to speak with the local authorities.

Oh yeah, forgot he was tagged. 😅

@wilburwonkasblog Some awfully and recently constructed tumblr (maybe bot?) page promoting dentistry products and healthcare was following me and now they've mysteriously disappeared! I only noticed because they were selling dentist related stuff, and you know how I feel about that stuff. I hope that I can trust it wasn't you, no, you wouldn't do that. Especially not now?

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

I hope I'm not bothering you I have a few questions?

1. What's your favorite color?

2. Chocolate or coffee?

3. Why are your eyes purple?

4. Can we see your bedroom? If you don't want us to that's okay lol

5. Have you ever thought about getting married and having kids?

You're not bothering me at all, it's no problem really.

1). My favorite color is either gold or burgundy. Pick either.

2). Chocolate, of course. Believe it or not, I'm not a huge fan of coffee. It stains your teeth and can give you bad breath and anxiety. I don't understand the obsession with it, but to each their own.

3.) My eyes are in fact not purple, they're brown. Rather than color, I believe the purple tint you're seeing is due to reflectiveness, depth and dimension. All that science-y stuff. That's been a topic of confusion for quite some time.

4). I'll have to think about it. I'm not very fond of my privacy being invaded.

5). No, I've never thought about it. The Buckets are like family and my Oompa Loompas are like my children, honestly. I don't think I need anything more than that. I'm very content with the way things are now here at the factory. ☺️

Goodnight world.

Can we see more wonka articles I love reading about your life!! :3

Of course you can! 😁 Here:

These are old, headlines for the opening of my factory to be precise! And if you can quite make out the Fortune magazine font it says, "The Most Successful Chocolatier in the World Opens the Gates of the Largest Chocolate Factory Ever Built".

~•••~

This is another article that goes along with the same date as the other. Grand opening of my factory, blah blah blah. Me cutting the ribbon. Fun stuff!

~•••~

And of course, this is an old one that I had posted once before in regards to a question about my awfully exaggerating 15-year disappearance:

~•••~

There are quite a few more good reads that I'm sure I could manage to dig up somewhere inside this factory. I'll post them sometime, eventually.

Glad you think so.

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

I have this theory that you're bipolar. Mainly cause when you go from being cheery to angry and petty quick. Every time the kids say something annoying you snap at them. When Augustus fell in your chocolate river you looked mad and like you didn't give a fuck then when the sucky thing sucked him up you had a smirk on your face and didn't do anything cause you wanted to see what would happen. You could've easily told your oompa loompas to get him out. You seemed like you really tried to warn all the kids except Augustus. Is it because he's fat? At the beginning of the tour you sarcastically body shamed him. You lowkey got a dark side lol

I don't understand anything you're saying. Each child was a complete brat and their parents were equally irresponsible for contributing to their kid's downfall, a lack of discipline, parenting and all that stuff.

Example, Augustus and his mother are the same size, if you get what I'm saying. If she had told him to put down a cookie or two years ago then maybe he wouldn't have been so tempted and greedy at the factory. And I was the true victim here, I had to drain my poor chocolate river and replace all the contaminated chocolate. That cost me a lot of money. So I don't want to hear about how I'm such a terrible person for supposedly taking a little pleasure in their pain.