C A T S !

You’re not just a writer.

You’re a goddamn survivor of your own imagination.

You live with noise in your head that never shuts up until you bleed it onto the page, and even then, it whispers, “Make it better.”

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a setter must be in want of a spiker.

Pausing my Walmart candy aisle shopping spree for this but

I just heard this lady in the next aisle over describing gay people to her companion and she said they had "a stellar appetite for other men" and I find that hilarious because it implies one of the following:

A- She doesn't much care for heterosexual men.

B- She thinks gay men are cannibals.

Or C- She just thinks men are yummy?

there are two types of writers.

“this plot has been in my head for 10 years and finally it’s perfect.”

“what if frogs had a secret government?”

You guys lemme just tell you that my ex girlfriend who cheated on me like three years ago just texted me out of nowhere yesterday and said "hey we're learning about mutually assured destruction in our senior year high school class and just wanted to say that's what being in a relationship with you felt like" and I was emotionally destroyed but damn that was a good one. Will probably use it on someone else later.

...I'm 19... but like...

WHY are titles so hard what the fuck man

Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻

Cats are the truest love of my life. Men?

...meh.

Bitter and lonely straight men who feel unloved by women do not seem to understand that women do not love men the way they think women should love men. Women who love men romantically don't love them with admiration, as a wise authority figure or someone they can rely on like children rely on their parents and belivers trust in their god. They love men the same way that they love cats.

Their weird hairy little house gremlin whose thoughts and feelings are occasionally utterly incomprehensible and expressed in strange ways, but who still clearly tries, and still clearly loves. Women love them despite of the home renovations they unpromptedly do.

slides into your tumblr. hey writers. take this shitty meme I spent 3 minutes on instead of writing.