27/10/2024

I’m back

I made one post on this blog then deleted tumblr because I was getting distracted from studying by the contents of my dash, so having the app was proving to be counterproductive.

I’m going to post about my study every day from now on.

My summer break is nearly over, so year 13 is about to begin! I aim to apply to Cambridge this October, so my time until then is going to be spent doing everything I can to improve my chances. Mainly - extracurricular activities, personal statement writing (kill me now), and studying for the ESAT whilst keeping on top of studies for my A-Levels.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

21/08/2024

I went on a day out today so I didn’t get very much studying done. We went to a library for a few hours and I got part of my personal statement first draft done! I was so stressed about it and was worrying that I wouldn’t have anything to write about, but once I’d started it was a lot easier than I’d thought, and I knew what I wanted to write about. Also did a few hours of tennis and swimming, so the day was academically unproductive, but I’ve enjoyed myself :)

Things achieved today:

First draft of personal statement

A little bit of chemistry group 7 and redox revision

I should have more time to study tomorrow, which is good because school starts soon and I still have lots (lots 🥲) to do.

22/08/2024

I’ve had another slightly tumultuous day today because I was away but my sister was ill, so we were stranded at the hotel for a while, followed by a long journey home. The hotel gave me the time to do some revision.

Things achieved today:

Revised group 7, group 2 and redox for chemistry

Got through another chapter of Junk DNA, though it’s very slow going because I am starting to struggle to understand the contents

I need to recap the chemistry content, and start on the year 2 chemistry content.

Goals for tomorrow:

Finish AS physical/ inorganic chemistry revision

Finish first set of biology summer work

Start revision for biology tests for when I get back to school

28/08/2024

Except for the maths, I didn’t do a lot today. My EPQ session was entirely unproductive since I’ve run into a dead end for the time being, and I’m not sure how to get around it. I finished another maths paper and got an A because I didn’t freak out if I couldn’t do a question. Staying calm is the biggest battle for me when it comes to maths.

Things achieved today:

Did another maths paper and got an A.

Tried (but did not succeed in) working around the block I’ve got at the minute with my EPQ.

My EPQ deadline is a week on Friday, and I also need the first draft of my personal statement finished by then as well. I am not on track to achieve either of those things :)

Things to do tomorrow:

Make more progress on my EPQ so the day after (Friday) I am ready to start referencing my work

Go through the maths paper I did today

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

27/08/2024

I spent 4 hours and 20 minutes on my EPQ today. My will to live is gone, my eyes are burning, and all I know is pain.

Thing achieved today:

I’ve done the outline for most of my EPQ

Got to play Roblox with some friends in the evening, which made everything okay again :)

Things to do tomorrow:

Even. More. EPQ.

26/08/2024

The time I didn’t spend doing EPQ today I spent thinking obsessively about EPQ and trying to plan what the next steps I need to take are.

Things achieved today:

I created a pretty solid outline for the discussion of my EPQ

I began doing a very rough first draft of my EPQ

Spent an hour doing some of a maths paper

Maths is proving to be something of a problem for me. I can do it - i know I can do it because I study hard for it and get some good grades - but me doing well relies hugely on my mindset. I really struggle to break out of the panic feeling when I can’t do a question, and everything spirals downwards from there.

Even when I am doing well though, I go so slowly that I always run out of time.

I think I just need to practice more so I’m faster and more confidant.

Things to do tomorrow:

More EPQ, basically

So

My mocks are all done and over with!! My biology and maths papers were pretty good, but my chemistry paper was an absolute nightmare. My chemistry teacher told us all to revise the wrong topics, so the whole class is screwed.

My focus now mocks are over with is to catch up with and learn some of the content from year 13 that I haven’t yet got the hang of yet with a particular focus on maths. I also want to do some extra curricular reading as well, complete my singing and piano music grades (which I will probably write a bit about), and just focus on picking up my hobbies again.

24/08/2024

I was out of the house for a while today, so I had less time to study, but I still managed to do some of what I was aiming for. I did the next section of my biology summer work, so I’m over halfway

Things achieved today:

Done the next section of my biology work

Finished my applied maths summer work (yay!)

Finished a maths paper I started ages ago but stopped because I was freaking out about it. Marked it and got 78%!! Might be a record for me.

I didn’t finish my maths summer work like I’d aimed on the grounds of me losing the paper I’d been assigned to do. Oops.

Things to do tomorrow:

Do a second pure maths paper

Biology ecology revision

Finish the next chapter of “Junk DNA” and take notes so I remember and understand it

Change EPQ question