Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

Ever hated yourself so much that the only thing you could is think about is punishing yourself and making yourself suffer? Doing every self destructive thing you can think of. Wanting to harm yourself because there’s so much hate. And you don’t know how to deal with it without taking it out on yourself

i’m the problem. i’m draining to be around. i turn everything good into something toxic. i can’t stop myself from ruining everything, no matter how hard i try. i’m the only one to blame. i’m poison to everyone around me, i destroy everything i touch

How am I supposed to succeed at life when on most days my best is getting out of bed. I have no energy to work towards anything. Showing up is my best sadly. But how do you explain that to people.

if you can’t handle me at my worst that’s understandable cause i can’t either

it’s scary how when i think of the future my mind immediately jumps to “youre gonna kill yourself soon anyways so you dont have to worry about it”