Do You Ever Feel Like Such A Burden That You Just Wanna Apologize For Existing

my entire life is just about trying to survive my mind but then again there are moments where i ask myself why i’m even trying so hard. there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is nothing worth staying for. why am i still doing this then? why am i still trying

Sometimes it's just feels like I am a burden for everyone, even for myself

The heart wants what the heart wants and there’s nothing one can do about it, except for suffering.

I wish I didn’t want you anymore.

I’m so sensitive and I feel things on such an intense level. I can’t do moderation. Pain and happiness is something we all experience, it’s a part of life . But there is so much more pain than the happiness. And that little happiness is no where near enough to mitigate the pain. And thinking that I have to fight this battle everyday for the rest of me life is exhausting. I can’t do it. I feel tired down to my bones. Talking myself out of killing myself everyday. Scared of triggers. Struggling to do basic things. Feeling hideous and unworthy of love. So much self hate. How can anyone do this for their entire life.

The thing is once you start thinking about killing yourself you can never go back. It becomes this option, that you can't unsee or stop thinking off. Whenever things get tough again it comes back to haunt you. There'll always be this voice whispering 'wouldn't it all be easier if you died' and you can never get rid of it

i don’t know why i feel sad, but i’m tired of feeling this way

idk im just sick of struggling in a life i don’t even want to have

the worst thing about being mentally ill is like.. nothing is wrong.. my life is pretty okay right now.. everything is fine. and yet.. theres this sinking feeling in my stomach and i cant stop thinking about dying