Mentally, I Am There

Hon Rosie: Listen, Tarquin is great and all but does he have a life plan? Thyme: Rosie, Tarquin doesn’t even have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that simply said ‘put on pants’ followed by a question mark.

Brian Jacques, every other paragraph: Sister Armel is PRETTY and INNOCENT and PRETTY and also PRETTY did I mention that she’s PRETTY, a PRETTY maid

Someone already said this but this absolutely applies to Bragoon and Saro as well

Mariel is aroace. Dandin is aroace. They are queerplatonic partners. Next question.

Look I know our religions don’t exist in the Redwall universe, but I’d still like to see human!Cornflower drawn with a hijab please and thank you

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

Guess I just have a fondness for heroes' that started too young, lost their whole families because of the baddie, went on grand adventures that took them over the world, met a girl who they associate strongly with a particular flower but who then dies and leaves them embittered and hurting as they continue to wander the world, searching for a purpose or just waiting to be killed, only to eventually find life again when some Dorky Little Guy with a Gimmick (and perhaps is somewhat dishonest but on the whole very polite about it) who then prompts them to take another journey at the end of which they decide to settle down and just try to enjoy life

They do not, of course, get to enjoy a totally peaceful life, but it's okay because they need the enrichment sometimes <3

They then go on to become a well storied hero that is spoken of widely throughout the rest of whatever series of media they feature in, naturally.

All the porn bots following me is so funny. Yes, this aroace tumblr user whose only account is for posting about tiny animals with swords is certainly interested in seeing your naked pictures. For sure for sure for sure. Best audience to market to.

nothing in the history of the universe will ever depress me as much as the Patrick McHale Redwall series being cancelled… that was a personal hit job from the universe aimed specifically at me

go Martin goooo

Hand over your friends /j

People who are willing to watch Redwall with you and have great commentary on it? My kind of people.

Quotes from watching the Redwall TV show with my friends

"Redditwall"

"Daddy Abbot"

"Don't worry, he kills people instead of getting therapy. It's the same thing."

"That happened in Riverdale" *they leave the call*

"Skittle (derogatory)"

"Evil Matthias be like 'these aren't the rats that killed my family.'"

"Matthias be like 'you know what... sometimes violence is the answer. And by sometimes I mean always.'"

"Zaddy Martin." *in such a tired voice* "Rose... your days are numbered..."

"Is she a girlboss?" "No" "Oh..." [everyone, share your opinions, is Cornflower a girlboss?]

"High, or simply a weasel?"

"He's [Shadow is] so skrunkly! You're such a skrunkly boy!"

"Oh, I was making fun of women. 🎵Sorry for party rockin🎵"

*Enranged ramblings about the sizing in the Redwall universe*

"Damn, he gets no bitches." "MATTHIAS?!"

"Cuz Cluny has dreams of Martin haunting him..." "That's kinda gay"

*angry* "You did the right thing, MATTHIAS"

"They don't have to wear pants! You can't make them! Free the nipple!"

"The nipple is stored in the butt." *Looks up where rats nipples are because he believed me (I was lying)*

"I'm sorry Daddy Abbot... are you gonna punish me 🥺?"

"Someone should edit a gun into her hand there"

"My computer hates Redwall." "It's your fault for calling it Redditwall"

"Ragear is a bad boy. In his joker era."

Also, WARBEAK IS A GIRLBOSS I LOVE HER SO MUCH. The way she says "Crazymouse 😒" to Matthias- EXCUSE ME BUT THAT'S ADORABLE?? Anyway rant over I hope you liked my quotes~

Hahahaa which one was your favorite?