Every Time I Think About Them I Feel Like I Need The Memory Gun

every time i think about them i feel like i need the memory gun

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let my eyes see let my heart feel gravfalls.art

More Posts from Theresstillsomethingimustdo and Others

theresstillsomethingimustdo

3 months ago

text id: No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

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poetry let my eyes see let my heart feel

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

1 month ago

some of you care about dunking on individual zionists more than a) challenging Zionism as the violent colonial terrorism it is and b) more than supporting Palestinians. People like Trump, Gal Gadot, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Schumer, Jamie Lee Curtis, and whoever the fuck else - their Zionism isn't just an excuse to call them losers. It's a form of terrorism they're lending their social and political capital to in order to legitimise and further enact that terrorism. Moreover, calling Gal Gadot a shit actor (while incredibly true and accurate) and calling it a day isn't anti-Zionist enough. Support Palestinians, uplift Palestinians as much as you shit on Zionists otherwise what's the point. Speaking of which here is a GoFundMe campaign supporting over 80 Palestinian families in Gaza and the West Bank that still hasn't reached its goal. Support Palestinian art, film, academia, etc too. Read Mohammed El Kurd's latest book, Perfect Victims. In light of the testimony from survivors of the IOF's latest massacre Palestinian paramedics, remember Zionism isn't just something that gives you an excuse to call out celebrities. Zionism is terrorism. Zionism is genocide. May we see and and keep fighting for a free Palestine in our lifetimes.

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

1 month ago

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

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writing these words are endless

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

5 months ago

feverish and forsaken. on my second glass of mulled wine. never kill yourself

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these words are endless

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

5 months ago

"I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT // I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL / BUT I COULD BE"

Film still from "Eternal Summer."
Cheng-hsing (left) and Shou-heng (right) lay side by side. Shou-heng's eyes are closed as he sleeps. Cheng-hsing is awake and looking at him with a sad expression.
Shou-heng has short, straight black hair that has been styled upwards. His outfit is not visible.
Cheng-hsing has longer, straight black hair that lays flat. He wears a white school uniform with red embroidery and a black tie.

“What if you are the last one standing when others have left the concert, the theater, the crime-addled city, the busted love affair? What if you look for a sign and a sign doesn’t come. Or a sign comes but you miss it. What if you have to make a decision on your own and it feels like a body blow, falling back on yourself.”

"I don't want to beg. I know you can feel it, my longing, the / aching, my need for love. I don't want to beg. But oh god. / Oh god, please. Please. Love me. Love me."

"We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, / smiling and crying in a way that made me
even more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I // just couldn’t say it out loud."

Film still from "Eternal Summer."
Shou-heng (left) leans his head against Cheng-hsing's (right) back as Cheng-hsing drives a motorbike. Shou-heng's eyes are closed and he looks content. Cheng-hsing looks straight ahead and has a focused expression. Shou-heng wears a blue helmet while Cheng-hsing wears a gold one. Their outfits and hair are not visible.

"I wonder if you talked about me, as you went home, or thought of me when the moon rose,"

“Take what you want. I’ll hate you for it. But I’ll love you forever. I can’t help but love you.”

Film still from "Eternal Summer."
Shou-heng (right) lays on top of Cheng-hsing (left) as they sleep. They are both naked. Pieces of clothing lay on the bed beside them. They both have short, straight black hair and look content.

“请把我放在你的心里 / Please keep me in your heart”

Film still from "Eternal Summer."
Cheng-hsing (left) sits beside Shou-heng (right). Cheng-hsing leans slightly forwards and holds his hands in his lap while Shou-heng leans backwards and rests his arm around Cheng-hsing.
Cheng-hsing has longer, straight, black hair. He wears a green jacket and blue jeans. He is looking downwards at the ground.
Shou-heng has short, straight, black hair. He wears a gray shirt underneath a black leather jacket and blue jeans. He is looking to the right.

"What was my entire being? An enormous, useless yearning,"

"the worst thing about love is / i remember it. // i walk around all day / thinking: i’m going to die / in the universe / you loved me in. // i get so jealous of euthanized dogs."

"i will always be almost, / I'll always be right there, so close I can smell it, I can taste it; begging to please believe me, please see that I am exceptional, I've worked hard and it's not for nothing, i promise my calloused hands will hold the trophy soon, I'm so close, I am, / but someone will always have arrived before me"

Film still from "Eternal Summer."
Cheng-hsing sits alone in an empty bus. He wears a green jacket over a striped shirt. He has longer, straight, black hair. Tears roll down his cheeks as he stares into space ahead of him.

"When I went away, it was the only option / Couldn't trust myself to proceed with caution / The most that I could give to you was nothing at all / The best that I could offer was to miss your calls"

"YOU'RE NOT JUST A FRIEND TO ME. I REALLY LOVE YOU." // CHENG-HSING AND SHOU-HENG

Emily Palermo What I Could Never Confess Without Some Bravado // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Amy Hempel Sing to It: New Stories // @/tullipsink desperation sits heavy on my tongue // Richard Siken Litany in Which Certain Things are Crossed Out // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Virginia Woolf in a letter to Vanessa Bell // R.F. Kuang The Burning God // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // unknown // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Fernando Pessoa A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems // June Gehringer I get so jealous of euthanized dogs // unknown // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Lucy Dacus Hot & Heavy

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web weaving let my eyes see let my heart feel

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

6 months ago

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

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these words are endless

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

3 months ago

love hides in questions, you cannot ask a thing without giving yourself away. how was your day? (i hope it was good) when can i see you again? (i pray it's soon) do you feel safe with me? (i feel safe with you) what is your favorite color? (i wish to enrobe you in all that makes you smile)

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these words are endless

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theresstillsomethingimustdo

1 month ago