K-pop is the best example for me. Look at how many saesangs are there. The idol contracts are so strenuous that they are dubbed as slave contracts. They aren't allowed to date as they and the people they date will be harassed by fans. Imagine thinking you are entitled to a person's private life just because they chose to be a k-pop idol and that they shouldn't date as they belong to you. A lot of idols face this. It's so stupid.
Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently unhealthy. Usually, they’re a perfectly normal and healthy way to experience media. You know what are examples of parasocial relationships?
Kids dressing up in costumes and pretending to be the sidekick of their favorite superhero.
Teens daydreaming about hanging out with members of their favorite band.
Adults reading a funny memoir and finding they now feel positively and care about the wellbeing of the person who wrote it.
Sports fans celebrating because their favorite team won a championship.
Watching a talent show and cheering when your favorite performer wins.
These are enjoyable and typically harmless experiences. Because relationships (parasocial included) are not inherently healthy or unhealthy–it all depends on the parties involved, and the behavior on both sides.
Parasocial relationships become unhealthy when we as audience members over-invest emotionally, fail to set proper boundaries, have unfair/unrealistic expectations or make intrusive demands (for individual attention, for emotional reciprocation, for the other party to serve as a best friend, a lover, a savior, a therapist), or engage in harassment when these expectations are not met. Or, alternatively, when the person/group/corporation on the other end misleads their audience, or uses their influence irresponsibly or exploitatively, or makes promises they cannot follow through on.
Unfortunately, we are seeing a rise in most of these things, in part because the way we consume media has changed very very quickly, and we as a culture have not had enough time to react sanely to these changes and establish healthy behavioral norms around them.
Many of us are struggling with how the illusion of intimacy has hyperevolved—the faces we once saw only on theatre screens and magazines, celebrities who were so removed from us by distance and medium, are now on our phones, in our homes, sharing their private lives with us in previously unimaginable detail. Instead of scripted interviews & crafted photoshoots, we get casual selfies & tweets & constant updates about their clothes & food & activities & private lifestyles. We get videos of celebrities talking to their camera (to us) directly from their own home—as if we are being invited inside. All of this happening on the very same social media platforms and in the same language we use to communicate with friends. Of course our brains are going to get confused, especially if we haven’t been taught how to draw the right boundaries when it comes to watching people in the spotlight.
And most of us haven’t.
Which leads us to what I think is the real problem—not parasocial relationships but Celebrity Culture. This whole culture we’ve been building for decades around inappropriate and invasive interest in the private lives of public figures. Celebrity & paparazzi culture has always encouraged deeply unhealthy patterns of behavior, and it’s been around a lot longer than the internet. But the attitudes it embodies have become the basis for how we treat and think about “famous” people online, and for the shape that parasocial relationships take in the social media age.
The problem isn’t that we’re forming parasocial relationships. Humans will always form parasocial relationships. Jesus christ, religion itself probably fits the definition of a parasocial relationship—what is more parasocial than inventing a god? The problem is that we are forming these relationships without a clear understanding of what constitutes healthy boundaries, reasonable expectations, and appropriate behavior, on all sides. Form as many parasocial relationships as you like, but figure out how to keep them healthy. Manage your expectations, be respectful of privacy, be aware of when you are becoming too involved, know when to step back, and don’t expect it to take the place of interpersonal relationships—your relationships with people who know you exist, and want to reciprocate your time, energy, and interest.
ko-fi
Evil Diva.
Coven Evelynn by 画画的纸 猴
As a fellow Indian, I agree and hope Kamala doesn't get this treatment.
actually i have been thinking about this since last night so i need to post. this is the latest official art that was commissioned and shared by CC. and cordelia does NOT look like a woman of colour.
THEIR SKIN TONES ARE LIKE BARELY ONE SHADE APART. i am SO mad that there are STILL whitewashed artworks being shared by CC. especially with cordelia, where there is a history of whitewashed artworks, as you can see.
now compare all these with these two art pieces and tell me they're all the same person.
let me illustrate further. in the cordelia and james art, at least a contrast can be seen between the colours of their skin. in the matthew and cordelia art, their skin tones look the same.
and i'm not much of an artist, but i do know with certainty that it's not because of the "lighting" or whatever.
EDIT: please read my reblogs in the notes before commenting.
@mouseprotector21 Keep this in mind. Have fun.
I’m know I’m not the first person to say this, but any newbies on tumblr really need to understand how different this is from a lot of other social media. Particularly tiktok.
I just saw a creator on tiktok reminding followers that it’s actually a problem when someone goes back to the earliest post and watches all the posts chronologically, liking and commenting along the way. The stupid app recognizes it as spam or something and then kinda puts a halt on their account? Literally punishing people for positive engagement?? 🥴🤦♀️
I’ve already heard people saying years back how they don’t want to be “creepy” and go through a persons blog, liking and reblogging tons of stuff. But think how many more people are going to be worried about it now, thinking they might do actual damage! Most people, especially younger people, are so used to the way tiktok works now. So please, do not ever worry about this on here. Just remember-
I hate that idiots on twitter are using the swastika as a hate symbol. I hate that Adolf dared to claim it as an Aryan symbol. It is a religious symbol used in many places in India to this day and the fact that so many people in the west either use it to spread hate or shame the Hindus who are using it (while assuming they are antisemitic to use a symbol OF THEIR OWN RELIGION) is disgusting. I'm Muslim and even I know this even though I've never used it. Try learning something about our history instead you pissy little fucktards.
Yes. It happened, unfortunately.
I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too
Also, several people who are immigrants won’t be able to tell the difference as daffodils don't grow in their native place. Do they deserve to die for that?
James Wong is one of the most beleagured men on Twitter. Not only did he recently get fired from the Observer for publicly objecting to platforming a TERF, he has a bunch of idiots arguing that daffodils (toxic) bundled like spring onions and placed in the produce section next to other alliums isn't dangerous because people should "know better" somehow.
Marks and Spencer is a UK-based retailer with some stores in a few other countries as well. I haven't seen daffodils sold like this in the U.S., but this is your regular reminder that staff at any given store don't necessarily know how toxic the plant products they're selling are. If you see something like this, bring it to the store's attention and also notify their corporate office.
Baba is urdu for dad. It's grandma in other languages. Try something different.
suggestions for gender neutral version of mom/dad? something less formal than just ‘parent’
hello my foul little beasties, i am taking a (hopefully brief) hiatus to deal with some health & personal issues. in the meantime here are some terrible awful no good wholesome fun facts i've been meaning to share:
bone china is called bone china bc yes it contains bones!
i'm not saying that autistic bees exist but autistic bees exist
for 15 years sweden thought russian submarines were invading its waters; it turned out to be herrings farting
cows have regional accents
sometimes massive fields of ice eggs wash up on beaches. literally just ice shaped like eggs. that is a thing that sometimes happens and i derive joy from this peculiar world
It's so weird when people say that these western stories are very inclusive, they have people from every race yet they don't include Indian people who migrate and settle in all developed countries over the world. You'll find loads of us in America, Singapore, UAE, Western Europe and even China, South-East Asia and South-Asian countries. We are everywhere yet are somehow almost always ignored or added as a second thought.
no but i am actually going to cry. grover being played by a desi actor will forever make me cry as a desi person who never saw himself in pjo because there weren’t any desi characters because this is THE representation we need