Before I Got Professional Help From A DID Specialist, I Was A Very Violently Anti-endo Sysmed. Ironically,

Before I got professional help from a DID specialist, I was a very violently anti-endo sysmed. Ironically, pursuing help and taking my medication regularly helped me open up to the idea of non-traumagenic systems.

Before I had access to professional help, I was angry at the world. I was angry at the doctors for not accepting my insurance even though I so desperately needed their help, and I was angry at the endogenics for seemingly getting the "easy" and "fun" parts of my disorder. It was insecurity. I blamed them for how people outside of the community treated me, I blamed them for making us look bad.

I held out hope for the definitive "medical truth" to validate me, I wanted someone to look at me and say:

"I know EXACTLY what is wrong with you, and I can fix you."

But sadly that was just a dream. After cycling through a handful of specialists and settling on my current one, I realized they're learning from me as much as I'm learning from them. Every single specialist had a wildly different definition of what DID looks like, and even is. What it's caused by, and what it's not. Some specialists were open to the idea of endogenic systems existing, some were not.

DID/OSDD medical information is a footnote in a medical textbook. So many of the terms that diagnosed traumagenics use are not decided upon by a medical consensus. Even the specialists are extrapolating heavily based on the very limited information there is about this disorder.

That's when it hit me.

The doctors don't know shit. The community dosent know shit. So damn it all to hell I don't care anymore.

Traumagenic and Endogenic systems are in the same boat. We are all still discovering what it even means to be plural. There's no set definition, even within the sysmed community. So why are we so desperately trying to invalidate each other's experiences just to try to convince others, and ourselves, that our lived experiences are real?

More Posts from Thepinklemonadesysx3 and Others

1 month ago
“Alexandria’s Genesis, A.k.a Violet Eyes (a Genetic Mutation).

“Alexandria’s Genesis, a.k.a violet eyes (a genetic mutation).

When someone is born with Alexandria’s Genesis, their eyes are blue or gray at birth. After six months, the eyes begin to change from their original color to purple, and this process lasts six months. During puberty, the color deepens to dark purple, a deep purple, a royal purple, or a violet-blue color and remains that way. It does not affect the person’s eyesight. Those who have this mutation will never grow any facial, body, pubic, or anal hair (not including hair on their head, on their ears, noses, eyebrows and eyelashes). Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile”


Tags
1 month ago

takes are stupid. when are we going to start posting gives

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3 months ago

TraumaWillow flag

TraumaWillow Flag

When some1 is a traumagenic and willogenic system

No flag meanings other than the middle stripe was made with the traumagenic+willogenic flags overlapped + some color adjustment to make it fit


Tags
1 month ago

plegg culture is huh my age regressed self has different name pronouns gender and species than me, i feel a weird sense of disconnect looking at posts paw made, i made her her own talk tag on my blog because it felt wrong having fluff post under my tag, and sometimes when im partially regressed i talk to nya in my head

that probably means nothing!

(we proceed to not realize paw was a headmate till like a month or two after syscovery)

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1 month ago

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

3 months ago

Every time one of my friends explains something about Plurality to me I have to fight the urge to ask if they're "More people per people" cause of this fuck ass post

Every Time One Of My Friends Explains Something About Plurality To Me I Have To Fight The Urge To Ask
1 month ago

TraumaWillow culture is forgetting you started out as a median and thinking it's just this easy for everyone to form headmates (spoiler alert it's not? I think? It's just fragments FINALLY adopting traits here 😭)

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1 month ago

Spaghetti are plural

correct

1 month ago

Mixed origin culture is cycling through "I'm only traumagenic because we're heavily affected by trauma.. wait no we're willogenic because I had to put in effort to help everyone fully figure out their identity... But I'd probably be a system regardless of trauma because we do form without reason sometimes so I'm endo" several times a day

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thepinklemonadesysx3 - pink lemonade
pink lemonade

anti-radqueer, pro-priv, pro-endo | mixed origin sys | minor | anything related to giving money will be assumed to be a scam and be blocked since I don't have the time to verify anything

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