Once Again For The Bargain Price Of $6.66 I Will Present To You A Top 5 Childhood Misadventures: April

Your post a couple days ago about reading things you acknowledge as silly nonsense and not the Height Of Intellectual Literature, and letting yourself enjoy it anyway, unearthed a memory for me that I just. I'm sorry, I just need to share this.

So, there was a phase I had, years ago now, where I for some reason ended up somewhat regularly reading James Bond books whenever I was in the mood for something light and kinda dumb but entertaining to read (I was reading Outlander and A Song of Ice and Fire at the time as well, never finished either of those series tho, so I kinda ended up reading lighter stuff in between those long books to relax and let my brain take a breather if that makes sense). I honestly couldn't tell you which books I read, and it wasn't in any particular order, it was sort of like, starting with whatever my dad had in the shelf and then continuing with whatever the library happened to have. Some of what I read were the original ones written by Ian Fleming, some were by later authors. Idk, point is, it was light spy-adventure nonsense I read when I didn't have the energy to think too deep about what I was reading.

Sorry about how long I took to get to the point, but, anyway. There was this one James Bond book I picked up mostly because hehe suomi mainittu. Not by Fleming, one of the later authors, I remember neither the author name nor the book name and can't be assed to google it rn. Anyway, a fair amount of the plot of that book took place in Finland. I could not say for the life of me what the actual plot of it was, just that part of it was set here. I remember like exactly two details about it, and both of those I only remember because I thought they were funny back when I was reading it.

One of those details was that there was a bit of Bond's internal monologue at some point that was just him basically being a whiny bitch about the fact that he thought the sort of thick winter clothes you need for Finnish winters didn't make him look sexy

The other is that there was a scene where the baddies tried to kill him by ??? crushing his car (while he was driving on some little road somewhere in the middle of nowhere) between two lumiauras??? like i just. that seems like a highly impractical way to attempt to kill anyone, but sure (ja sori siitä et mä en ny suoraan muista et mikä helvetti lumiaura on englanniks, mut sä ny puhut suomee kuiteski)

Idk you talking about silly stuff in books just unearthed this memory for me, no idea why, and i just needed to share it with someone

It's a snow plough. The english word for lumiaura is snow plough. Also that mental image is hilarious.

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

some more semi-peeled Simon for the fic I am now somehow 5k deep into

average ace attorney trial

phoenix: ah god im so nervous im so new to this

maya: we can do it nick!!! yayayayay

judge: hello i am here

edgeworth: hello i am calling my witness mr seekret murdahrer to the stand

seekret murdahrer: hi i am but an innocent witness. i saw harry willington kill that guy from my window. yes the defendant.

phoenix : oh shit uhhhh fuck i know!!! yes mr murdahrer um you claim to have seen mr willington from your apartment window and yet your apartment has no window!!!!

judge: order!!!!

edgeworth: tut tut tut you see mister wright mr murdahrer does have a window, your building plans are outdated!

phoenix: oh shit. um. i. LOOK AT THIS

judge: what the fuck is this

phoenix: this is a piece of tape! but as you can see, there is dust on this tape!! i picked it up at mr murdahrers apartment! in the dust on the tape you can see the serial number from the murder weapon!!!

seekret murdahrer: *rips off face* GAHHHHHHH fine i did it!!!!!@

judge: ORDER! anyway i find mr willington not guilty!

confetti: *falls*

maya: yayayay mr wright we did it!!!

edgeworth: Phoenix....... I Have Always Felt A Certain..... Way..... Towards You..... As If Our Lives Are Perhaps Intertwined...... This Thought Has Penetrated Me Deeply... And Yet I Find Myself Unable To Resist........

harry willington: wowowow thanks mr wright!!!! now i will go back to the novelty ninja dice factory and work there again!!!!

A huge FranMaya rec list

SFW:

Mine: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37121653 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34350880/chapters/85474714

Then we got two of Madi (timepatches) works. They are absolutely some of the best FranMaya in the fandom, and really long too! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31024394 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30801872

God, I think about this fic every few days: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36924331

This one is older FranMaya: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31110692

Hanahaki, and an adorable sick fic! Fran takes care of Maya: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32841097

Maya helps Fran dye her hair (very emotional): https://archiveofourown.org/works/29625684

A super cute, short coffee shop AU I like: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726136

This one is just soft AF: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25460530

Slight hurt/comfort but mostly bonding road trip: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873357/chapters/11172295

Hurt/comfort and Fran being vulnerable: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559137

Just more soft: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339144

another amazing Poodlepunk one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36845230

Krissey’s fics are amazing obviously, that’s a given: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31026074/chapters/76641320

super long fake divorce Au: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31068524

you all should know Vyn by now, but if you don’t their FranMaya is excellent: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35759221

FranMaya smut fics:

my smut that I’m most proud of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36088561 https://archiveofourown.org/works/35257345

This is my absolute favourite, love Grace’s writing, she’s done so much for FranMaya smut with just one fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389504

The FranMaya chapter of this smut collection is divine, knockoutmouse is stupid good at writing smut, this one includes MTF Franziska, and is really really tender and thoughtful. (knockoutmouse also has two insanely good Larry smut series.): https://archiveofourown.org/works/32346466/chapters/80188075

They’re girlfriends and Fran is sleepy here and it’s my favourite thing ever: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31465307

Look Indefensible is fucking massive so don’t read it unless you have time, but the build up of their relationship and the pay off for the smut is the greatest thing ever, I want this to be a novel: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419027/chapters/64361530

This one’s just hot and fun: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4661076

Jazz is an amazing writer, and also they wrote this for me, so obviously it’s going on the rec list: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37481089

Poodlepunk is insanely talented, and they wrote smut for this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35041099/chapters/87277975

phee’s smut is ridiculously good: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36220534

angsty, character driven smut: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34556809