Cleo: Can You Teach Me How To Hoe?

John B: how’s your head?

JJ: I haven’t had any complaints

John b, exasperated: your concussion, JJ.

JJ: oh! I’m fine

JJ: *talking to Kiara and Pope and sways on his feet* woah

Pope: *freaks out* JJ love, are you alright?

Kiara: *ready to beat some bitch up if JJ is hurt* what's wrong what happened?

JJ: *thinks back to everything he's done* oh i haven't eaten today that might be why-

Pope and Kiara: JJ MAYBANK

JJ: I'm a wanted man, Kiara!

Kiara: You weren't even a wanted child

JJ:

JJ: is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Kiara: what’s up your ass this morning?

Pope, walking into the room and kissing JJ’s cheek: hey

Kiara: hm. Nevermind.

John b: *chokes*

JJ: This date is boring!

Pope: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

JJ: Then why did you invite me?

Pope: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Pope I'll do whatever want!

Pope: JJ, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. 
JJ, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky.

*reunion after the motorcycle incident *

JJ: Pope?

JJ: Pope!

JJ: *running in slow motion*

Pope: JJ?

Pope: JJ!

Pope: *runs to him in slow motion*

JJ: Pope!

Pope: JJ!

JJ: Pope! That was the narliest power slide I’ve ever done-

Pope: *grows angry* JJ!

JJ: *grows concerned* Pope..?

Pope: *goes into full sprint, angry* JJ!!!

JJ: *turns to run away* OH FUCK

JJ: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. 
Pope: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. 
JJ: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? 
Pope: Is it working?

Everyone at DisneyLand pt1

Kiara: is that a leash? JJ, *Holding the leash attached to their sons harness* No, its a child safety tether

Pope: It's a leash, don't judge us

JJ: we have a runner

Pope: Cooper is going through a phase, oh, we hope its a phase

JJ: He bolts every chance he gets

JJ, *chasing Cooper at the park* COOPER!

JJ, *chasing Cooper in town* COOPER!

JJ, *chasing Cooper out of Day care* COOPER!

JJ: So we had no choice but to put him on a child safety tether

Pope: its a leash, and... we did have a choice

Cooper *drops his basket*: oh fuck.

*Pope gawks*

*JJ trying to hold back his laughter*

Pope, later that day: okay, honey. We need to talk about something. It’s about the word you said this morning.

Cooper: what word?

Pope, holding his hands: you know, the one starting with F.

Cooper: flower?

Pope: no

Cooper: fruits?

Pope: no.

JJ: if he doesn’t remember it, maybe we shouldn’t remind him

Pope, glaring at JJ: he said it three times.

Cooper: oh! You mean fuck!

*JJ, falls back against the couch unable to stop laughing*

Pope: JJ, leave the room!