Jurdan gets funnier and funnier the more you think about them and realize how much of a big loser both of them are when it comes to love.
Mfs get married to supposedly "form a trustworthy alliance" -> Cardan exiles Jude the next day to impress her, because apparently his rizz disappears when it truly matters š -> Jude takes it seriously, stays in the human world for months and is salty af -> Cardan cries himself to sleep and writes pathetic little letters to her. Like wow you did that to yourself you dumb bitch š
And don't get me STARTED on their dumbass confessions. Cardan's was, I'm pretty sure, 80% on a whim. Like, maybe he had prepared the words in his mind but he didn't plan to confess to her right then and there at such a bad time. Says "well you probably already guessed as much" at the end then RUNS AWAY probably because he's overwhelmed and Jude is left standing there like???? No I fucking didn't guess you liked me lmao??? I'm dumb af bro, should've been this direct from the start :')
And Jude's is also hilarious because she says it kind of hurriedly as soon as they're alone, since she had promised herself to tell him the first moment they get together. Girlie confesses and CARDAN DOESN'T BELIEVE HER š so homegirl has to EXPLAIN in DETAILS when she thinks she started to fall for him, why she started to like him, why she believed he didn't like her and why she felt the need to hide it. And ONLY after that whole ass explanation Cardan's finally like "omg!!! You liked me because I'm clever and funny?!?? Omgggg..."
Those fuckers were really married for months before fumbling their way through awkward confessions because they can't indulge in the thought that the other likes them. Like they were legit EMBARRASSED to admit that they like eachother while being MARRIED. Please this is so unserious, get real.
They know how to deal with each other better
doom yourself before the narrative does
āCan I be mean for a secondā I would not care if you killed the bitch in front of me. Now whatās bothering you queen
Cannot lie to you if I was a normie in like a Gotham City or Musutafu I would pray every day someone lands on my job in the after hours and fucks the servers and building up
Partially Deaf Katsuki Headcanon
When you force him to watch your rom-com shows that he doesn't like, he turns his hearing aids down to the lowest possible setting. It's just loud enough for him to hear you if you say something right next to him, but low enough that everything on the TV sounds like mumbles. Heād much rather focus on cuddling, and you begin to think, "Wow, he must actually be starting to like these movies." But in reality, noāhe canāt hear a single thing and definitely hasnāt been paying attention to the plot. Heās just content cuddling and staring off into space while spooning you on the couch. He pretends to watch these movies just to make you happy.
when I'm at 'who's the biggest pathetic loser in love competition' and my opponent is cardan greenbriar
šØ: honeypearss
Oh damn -yes I'm on my knees-
š« š« š« š«
Please. Please. Please. Please. Please
this hit me like a truck
EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR OAK āAnd if you really think youāre a monster, then letās be monsters togetherā GREENBRIAR. MY GOD
Official art of Oak and Wren from the tour makes me want to cry
(From @nayxreads on Instagram)
(From Holly Black's page)
Official art here