I Laughed So Fucking Hard At This

MARVEY FICS MASTERPOST

I decided to compile all the marvey fics I love!!

Alpha-Omega Verse

Imperfect Perfection – Skara_Brae

The Strange Courtship of Mike Ross – Skara Brae

Walk Away If You Can Serie – Blue_Five Probably Me Safe In Your Soul

Apocalypse

End of the World (as We Know It) – leista

Here at the end of all things – tattooedsiren

Plant My Apple Tree – FightFireWithFire

Boxing Verse

Shackled and Drawn - batty4u

Breaking Up – Or Just a Fight – & Making Up

And I did happen to you - thesetemplebones

awake & unafraid – turnyourankle

Bullshit - lagirl266

Every Second - tattooedsiren

Feels Like Rain - nevergone

the spaces grown between us - CS_WhiteWolf

Pineapple Apology - Frozen-Void

Predictable – inflowers

Unpredictable (Sequel of Predictable) – inflowers

Priorities - LethalTraps

5 + 1 Things

5 times Mike sat in Harvey’s lap by necessity and one time he did it just because he could - Unspoken0dreams

between hot it is and how it should be (or: Five times people confuse them for a couple and one time they’re right) – foamskyandsea

Call Me Maybe (or: 5 times Mike Ross texted Harvey Specter, and the one time the tables were turned) – malawi

Childish Things (or: Tree times Mike is ridiculous and immature [and one time Harvey is, too]) - blue_wo1f

Complimentary colors (or: Five times in which Harvey and Mike match) - foamskyandsea

Five Times Harvey and Mike Proposed to Each Other, and One Time Someone Said Yes - bookem_assbutt

Five Times Harvey Showed he cared – Splotcher

Five Times Harvey Surprised Mike - Dahlia_Moon

Five times Harvey witnesses Mike gets handsy, and one time he experiences it himself – mackietommo

Five Times Mike Is Sporting Wood in Harvey’s Presence and One Time Harvey Does Something About It –  tardisonameter

Five Times Mike Makes Harvey Laugh – And The One Time He Makes Him Smile - sal_si_puedes

Five Times Mike’s Phone Sort of Gets Him Into Trouble and One Time It Really, Really Doesn’t - Robin Gills (Akiseo)

Harvey Ain’t no White Rabbit (or: Harvey Specter waits for anybody, except Mike – Four times others notices, one time Mike did) – TheGroupofOne

Heart of Gold (or: Five times Harvey said no and the one time he didn’t) – shotstorylong

I like the way you move (or: Harvey is an awesome dancer. Mike finds out and is astonished) - alerie

I Can Barely Say (or: there are certain times for which words could never be enough) - emms14

in the other hours (or: Five times Mike couldn’t sleep and the one time he feel asleep when he really shouldn’t have) – tattooedsiren

in•somnia (or: Five times Harvey only mostly fails at that whole “not caring” thing, and one time he falls spectaculary) – myystic (neoinean)

Only When We’re Drunk (or: 5 times Harvey has seen Mike drunk, and one time Mike schemes to get it the other way around) – purpleushi

Say it ain’t so, I will not go (or: Five times Harvey sees Mike dressed casually) - foamskyandsea

Sleep is a Symptom of Caffeine Deprivation (or: 5 times Harvey watched Mike sleep, and one time Mike watched Harvey sleep) – PhoenixFlame

The Five People that Mike Didn’t Know Loved Him and the One Person He Loved Back - Tigress33

The Agreement (or: Mike needs a way to relieve stress. Harvey can provide it) – joannereads

The Art of the Unexpected (or: 5 Times Harvey kissed Mike unexpectedly and 1 time Mike kissed him) – butterflycell

The Five Times Harvey and Mike Slept Together (and the one time they acknowledged it) - LeahxLeah

the pieces that make up the whole (or: Five times Mikes learned something about Harvey) - waywardrenegades

The Truth About Us (or: Five times someone find about the true nature of Harvey and Mike’s relationship and the one time that they told someone) – AmorVerdan

Three Times Harvey Accidentally Hit On Mike And One Time He Did It On Purpose – GotTheSilver

Three Times Harvey Asked Mike to Marry Him (and one time Mike said yes) – skyenapped

Under Control: The Four People Who Noticed Harvey Noticing Mike and The One Person Who Totally Didn’t – cimera

We’ve all been there (or: Five times they think they’re obvious, and the one time they really are) – foamskyandsea

You mend my heart with a rose (or: Four times Mike got Harvey a rose and one time Harvey returned the favor) – whittyrabbit

ER Verse (or where Harvey or Mike get injured, or they’re sick)

Mike

Betrayed - harvey-bangs-mike

Bravery - Rayrawl

Hearts Will Hold - rories

Midnight Encounter – laughter_now

Harvey

New Pathways - jonius_belonius (Joni_Beloni)

Silent Vigil Serie – laughter_now Silent Vigil Getting it Right

take your time cause you’re up against space – emms14

Established Relationship (in other words: fluffy…)

Anniversary

Anniversary - lostinspacexx3

One Month – lionessvalenti

Room 2005 - Snowball’s-Chance

A win-win situation (?)

A Little More – uptopcomeon

Driving a Harvey - flamyshine

Coming Home

Be Home For Sunday – KaliTracer

Easy As Breathing – butterflycell

Faster Faster - carnifax

Midnight Calls - lostinspacexx3

No More Trips – skyenapped

The Verdict - Sairyn

When the Heart Yearns - Boondock Winchester

Coming Out

Strictly Ballroom - sal_si_puedes

Deprived Domesticity - Beautiful_lies_x

Getting Married & Honeymoon

Can’t help falling in love - flamyshine

Interlude - suitsfan

my love is like that - neverphemeral

Pretty, Pretty Please? -FarAwayInWonderland

Thankful - hana-to-mame

Having a “date”

Green Wine and Pizza – turnyourankle

Yippe-ki-yay motherf**ker – whittyrabbit

Having fun and “fun” –wink–

A Hot Shower - lostinspacexx3

C'mon Fire Me Up - Peace. Love. And Other Things

Laughing So Hard Your Face Hurts - lostinspacexx3

Say Goodnight - suitsfan

Skeletons in the Closet - carnifax

Upside Down and Inside Out - mskatej

Jus the why they’re together

An Ordinary Day - adaycertain

Body Language Serie – thesetemplebones communicate something incommunicable reveals of our most secret self

Domo Arigato, Mr. Spectro - smartalli

Easy Like Saturday Morning - TheMastress

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Mike and Harvey and a Few Things You Didn’t – bballgirl3022

Falling In Love - lostinspacex

Metaphors – makingitwork

Mike’s Smile - lostinspacexx3

Most of all – inflowers

Nights Like These - Xazz

old words – tattooedsiren

Pretty Roads - lostinspacexx3

Rain On A Tin Roof - suitsfan

The Daily Grind - townpariah

The Rainbow Series – accol

The Right Words - hana-to-mame

Untitled Rainbow Ficlets - vaguesalvation

With You I Fall So Fast - VerityFrancesB

Moving in together

Home - lostinspacexx3

Home Sweet Home – ProLazy

Moving In - harvey-bangs-mike

with wild hope - tattooedsiren

Secretly Married

Exclusively Yours Verse Serie – tattooedsiren Exclusively Yours love consists in this A Series of Small Things There It Shall Remain Forever The True Measure of Love Yours Alone

Mr Specter - Olor et Luna

Where Harvey just doesn’t accept they have a relationship (but in the end he does, like “oh my god, I love him”)

A pragmatic romance - inflowers

Body Heat - Enigmaforum

Disturbing the Peace - Grim Lupine

Gatekeeper - SodiumBicarb

Sometimes Mike just wants flowers - whittyrabbit

Nop, sorry, you’re not healthy anymore… diabetes

A New Cure - suitsfan

Books - lostinspacexx3

Calling Out - lostinspacexx3

Late Night Trips - lostinspacexx3

Perfect Price - lostinspacexx3

Off the Clock - Ella Dean Pendragon

One peaceful afternoon – flamyshine

Saturday Morning - lostinspacexx3

Waltz - lostinspacexx3

Ugly Issues

Stronger Than Superman - fortgetyouinsiberia

Pre-Established Relationship

Slowly development using the “canon”

altering life by holding it still - tattooedsiren

An Expression Of Feelings - LiliFayre

even the impossible is easy – Anonymous

if ever I was running - tattooedsiren

Just A Little Fire - Anonymous

Lit Up - phreakycat

something inevitable – tattooedsiren

Stay With Me - nevergone

the indispensable first step - tattoodsiren

this tornado loves you - liketheroad

Where both Harvey and Mike don’t clearly understand – or choose to ignore – their feelings and ignore they have something (because they’re idiots, but in the end they get their shit together but sometimes they don’t)

All I Ever – nevergone

Change is Only Natural - 1stBonesFan (1stBonesFan_is_SterekGirl)

Continental Drift - townpariah

For All of the Plans We Made - foamskyandsea

I Know Who I Want - foamskyandsea

I told YOU – blackeyedsoul

Lie To Me  - nevergone

Make me Nervous - brilligspoons

Monochrome - carnifax

Sleep Tonight - suitsfan

Surprises - suitsfan

The Least They Ever Gave You (Was the Most You Ever Knew) – skyenapped

your broken crown – tattooedsiren

Where Harvey has an “existential crisis” (and you only think “oh, Harvey finally”)

I Wanna Hold Your Hand – VampirePam

Third Definition – khasael

Turn of Events - bballgirl3022

Where Mike doesn’t notice Harvey’s feelings until the very end (because he can be an idiot too… oh, and he also has existential crisis, a “oh my god, what did I do?” crisis)

All My Fortunes At Thy Foot I’ll Lay - tattooedsiren

And We’ll Pretend - goblinish

Blackmail - Sairyn

Confessions – Sairyn

finding the way - smatalli

Harold’s Secret - pineapplesandcanopeners

Just a Kiss - suitsfan

Mike’s secret admirer - flamyshine

Some Guys Don’t – Love2Slash

The Red Earth of Tara – sal_si_puedes

Truth or Dare - purpleushi

Vinyls – aspirateurkilleuse

Where Mike has enough

Getting Rid Of A Distraction – ShadowMoon

I’ve got a feeling – inflowers

The Art Of Lying - LeahxLeah

You read this and you’ll get diabetes… yummy

PrettyHandsome Kindergarten – flamyshine

Reason 10 - The-Fall-Season

The Way You Look Tonight - Bontaque

Warm hands on my heart - flamyshine

Ficlets 2x1

all the words in the world may not be enough - tattooedsiren

Marvey - FarAwayInWonderland

Snapshots - tattooedsiren

What if? – machtaholic (cinderella81)

Gender bending

A Charmed Life - DizzyDrea

Halloween Time

something strange (or: Five ways Harvey and Mike spend Halloween) - cuddlebuck

Harry Potter Verse

Would It Be So - flitterflutterfly

Just Like Heaven AU (or something like that)

The Haunting of Penthouse B - Skara_Brae

What Dreams May Come - tattooedsiren

Magic and supernatural things exist here

Advocatus Diaboli - sal_si_puedes

All But Memories – pageleaf

Love thy neighbor - flamyshine

Read My Mind - makingitwork

Reverse Polarity - machtaholic (cinderella81)

The Cat That Walked By Himself - Xanthe

Matchmaking

Obviously Oblivious - Leista

The Puppy, the Five Frogs, and the Not-So-Charming Prince - triskadekaphobicnazi

The Marvey Chronicles – flamyshine 

Military AU

Fair Winds and Following Seas Serie – lilgirllost (lil_grl_lost) Of All the Gin Joints Here’s Looking At You, Kid The Thing That Keeps Him Going

High Speed - machtaholic (cinderella81)

M-Preg AU

For You – Blue_Five

Mike’s Cravings - DinoMoMo

Though the Stars Walk Backwards – UchiHime

Beginning Serie – penguino3782 Boring Parties Chats and Mrs Butterworth’s Dad, Not Father Daddy Anxiety Complications  

Musician AU

Mike and Harvey

Crescendo - smatalli

Mike

Mike + The Harmony – Sauffie

Streed Kid Serie – veritas_st Looking Sharp (Not Looking for Love) You Sound Like Music The Initial Response

Nothing Hill AU

Mike

76 & Lexington – widnst

Harvey

when our stars collide - tattooedsiren

Parenting (or where they want kids)

Everything Good In The World – skyenapped

Take Your Daughter to Work - bballgirl3022

this life, this love – tattooedsiren

Window Shopping - lostinspacexx3

The Proposal AU

Casual Encounters - Attorney C (arh581958)

I Now Pronounce You Mike and Harvey - aLLiCaT225

Limited Parthership – Pookaseraph

Speaking of Happiness – machtaholic (cinderella81)

whatever the question – tattooedsiren

Wear My Name – Lunarflare14

Porn with or without Plot

“With Plot”

Curious George - Anonymous

Inseparable – BatSuitsCrazy (McDanno50)

Slow - sal_si_puedes

The Prince and the Prostitute - forever_bright

Reward - Cashay

Without Plot

Hold Your Breath - dedougal

Interpretation of Love – quodpersortem

Sensitive - BearHatter

The Prada Tie - samspecter

The Video - jaraismylife

Ties - GoreBeeCormick

We will not be using my tie for that - accol

BDSM (or “I’ll teach you a lesson” porn)

Mr. (Hardass) Harvey Specter – MajicViolin

Obedience - hardeight

Step Two - jonius_belonius (Joni_Beloni)

Riot or Revolution - forever_bright

Single Parent AU

Mike

call me maybe – frozensight

The Luck of the Draw - Enigmaforum

Still I Fly – Anonymous

Harvey

Friends? I’d Say Family – mockturtletale

School Time AU

Mike is the student

Dedication to My Love WIP - writeaddict

Five things to do before graduation – whittyrabbit

Harvey and Mike are students

Swingin’ in the Halls Serie – agrajag Swingin’ in the Hall Burn Brighter  

Harvey is the teacher and Mike his assistant

Barely Legal WIP – Kitty Howell

Dolce Far Niente - EvavH

Soulmates AU

Imprimatur - Closer

Something Stupid Like Fate – smartalli

Travels in Time

all straight lines circle sometime – liketheroad

Do You Harvey Specter… - Sairyn

Vampires AU

1500 Years – AngularNotions

Five Times Mike Ross Was a Terrible Vampire and One Time He Wasn’t - ladyknightanka

Where Mike has different jobs – but he is NOT a lawyer (yet)

Barista/Coffee Shop

Every Sunday They Go Back To Monday - rories

Grande Soy Triple Dirty Chai – friskaz

Incidental Music – turnyourankle

Too Young For Me - Bontaque

Deliveryman

Pizza-Verse Serie – Closer Pizza And A Movie The Secret Life Of Lawyers A Series Of Covert Disasters  

Doctor

Fate’s Decree Serie – in_the_bottle A Bit Less Ordinary In Totidem Verbis From the Ashes Four First Impressions of Dr Michael Ross From the Ranks of Pearson Hardman Break Me With Ice Time Unfolds

Grocery Store/Cashier/Owner Store

20 Items or less – checkmatey

No Shoes, No shirt – Hardwood_Studios

Vinyl Advice Serie – mockturtletale Vinyl Advice: Stop, Look, Listen Vinyl Advice: Wrong From Right  

Second Spin - machtaholic (cinderella81)

Hot Dog Guy

Hot In the City - escribo

Nanny

Falling In Love To The Sounds of the City – GotTheSilver

Photographer

Unspoken - Sauffie

Tailor

You’d Look Good On me – VerityFrancesB

You’ve Got Me Now Under Your Thumb (Sequel of You’d Look Good On Me)– VerityFrancesB

Teacher

In Love With The Teacher - Sauffie

Tennis

untitled tennis star Mike ficlet – thatotherpery

Where the canon is almost canon and Mike is a REAL lawyer

In the Air (And Breathing) - escribo

Like Gravity - kaylin_neya

Konkurrenz belebt das Geschäft Serie – FarAwayInWnderland Hear Me, I’m Calling Your Name Regret Is For Fools (And Sometimes For Me) I´m The Queen Bee And I´ll Make You Dance For Me Thoughts On The Matter

Waiting Just For You WIP- FarAwayInWonderland

Where the canon still “exists” but Mike is not a lawyer anymore

all the way home – tattooedsiren

by my side - tattooedsiren

The Star Of His Own Halloween Special - team_freewill

7,776,000 - tattooedsiren

1 + 1 = (Sequel of 7,776,000) - tattooedsiren

Where the canon is canon but the Marvey is everywhere (or plot from the episodes)

Working Toward Informed Consent between 1x02 - 1x05 – 1shinymess (magpie4shinies)

Tied Together With An Easy Thread 1x07 – Stone_Princess

Invincible 1x09 – BatSuitsCrazy (McDannon50)

ex fide fiducia 2x01 - kim47

Fallen face first into love 2x01 – flamyshine

till the lights go out - foamskyandsea

Indirect Kiss 2x02 - suitsfan

The new best closer in the office 2x02 - flamyshine

A little puppy in the big scary city 2x03 - flamyshine

All You’re Giving Me Is Fiction 2x06 - anaeifly

Tongue Tied 2x06 - nuspock

I Could Not Kiss, Just Regress 2x07 - IrishFrenchy

A romantic confession 2x12 - flamyshine

2x12

Sometimes You Get What You Need 4x15 - inflowers

The Deal 5x15- Sauffie

Harvey/Mike - tattoedsiren

Marvey from other point of view

Alphabet Suits - LaylaBinx

Golden Threads – FarAwayInWonderland

Donna Sees All – butterflycell

Donna’s Intervention - oldsouls2302

landmarks to a treasure - tattooedsiren

My Give-A-Damn Clock Is Broken Between The Hours of 12am And 10pm - mistressofmythology

The Care & Keeping of Harvey Specter’s Puppy – smartalli

You Can Leave Your Hat On – laughter_now 

---

things that are enjoyable:

showers

things that are not enjoyable:

getting in the shower

getting out of the shower

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

for real though I'm so happy with how this came out

maybe i'm missing something, but why wouldn't you listen to a doctor's opinion of whether you're in pain or fatigue?

Okay, I’ve thought about this question for most of a day, because the obvious answer is “….why would I?”, but it’s clearly not obvious to you.

Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking. They’re a doctor. They’re a professional you’ve gone to for help. And pain and fatigue are, like, medical things, right? Going to a doctor about medical stuff and then saying “LOL NOPE” to what the doctor says is like hiring a plumber and then arguing about how to fix your sink, right? If you’re so smart, why’d you call the plumber over?

Okay.

But now imagine your basement is flooding and you call the plumber. While on the phone, the plumber asks you what the problem is and you say that there’s a pipe in your basement that’s burst and it’s now flooded.

And the plumber—still on the phone—says “LOL NOPE.”

And you say, “Excuse me?”

The plumber says, “Look, a flooded basement is a really severe problem, okay? Usually, these calls, they’re a clogged toilet or a leaky u-bend under the sink. Trust me, this is better. Those are a lot cheaper to fix.”

And you say, “I’m sure they are, but I’m telling you, my basement is flooded. I’m looking down the stairs and I can see the water.”

“I’m just saying, there are other things it could be. It won’t hurt anything to eliminate them first,” the plumber says.

And you say, “But I need my basement fixed! Look, I can’t go down in my basement and do laundry right now, and I have important keepsakes down there in boxes… some of them are already ruined, but maybe I can salvage some if we can just fix the problem.”

“Well, then it will be in your interest for me to check your toilets and your u-bends,” the plumber says.

“The problem is not in my toilets or my sinks,” you say. “I am looking at the problem. I called you because my basement is flooded, and I need you to help me fix that.”

And then… now, I’m not assuming you’re female, but I just want to emphasize that this is a starkly though not exclusively gendered phenomenon, so if you’re not female then imagine you are.

“MA’AM,” the plumber says, in a way you recognize. It’s the voice of putting you in your place, the voice of unearned authority, and with this voice, this word, ma’am, is not a title of respect, it’s a reminder and a command. “MA’AM, if you’ll just calm down. I’m sure what you’re experiencing seems terrible to you, but the truth is, it’s probably not as bad as it looks from where you’re standing. And that’s a good thing! Trust me, have been a plumber for 27 years. Now, when can I come over to check your u-bends?”

“It’s not my u-bends!” you say.

“Ma’am, if you don’t want to be helped, I’ll start to think you’re calling for attention.”

You see?

(Now for bonus points, imagine the plumber refuses to help you until you lose a statistically improbable amount of weight just to rule out that this might be flooding your basement, or is acting on the subconscious but deeply entrenched idea that people with your skin color are less susceptible to flooding and in less need of help, or believes that as a feeeemale you’re more likely to be suffering from emotional distress than a physical problem and suggests the preferable course of action would be for you to take a nap every time the supposed flooding in your basement bothers you.)

As I said in that post, pain and fatigue — like dysphoria — are qualitative experiences. This means they happen in your head and they cannot be directly observed or measured by anyone else (which would make them quantitative phenomena). 

The doctor talking to you about dysphoria —or pain or fatigue — is not a plumber in your house, they are a plumber on the phone. The only input they receive about the problem is your account of it. 

And if they’re not willing to listen to what you say and aren’t willing to take you at your word, then all the expertise and experience in the world doesn’t matter. You can have the most powerful calculator in the world but if you type the wrong numbers into it it will still give the wrong answers. Someone can be the best doctor in the world but if they’re ignoring the information they’re not going to give you the right answer.

another gravity falls animation! :3 hope yall enjoy!

Sometimes I’m looking for something online - often “how to” articles - and I want to filter for - like - a website that was clearly built in 2010 at the latest, which may or may not have been updated since then, but contains a vast wealth of information on one topic, painstakingly organized by an unknown legend in the field with decades’ worth of experience. I don’t want a listicle with a nice stolen picture in a slideshow format written by a content aggregator that God forgot. I want hand-drawn diagrams by some genius professor who doesn’t understand SEO at all, but understands making stir-fries or raising stick insects better than anyone else on this earth. I don’t know what search settings to put into Google to get this.

Abled people have seriously skewed the meaning of “recovery” and i am Not About That. 

Whenever I hear the word mentioned (both on this site and in real life), the conversational subtext is usually “when will you/they recover enough to meet the standards of abled society?” As if I, a nuerodivergent person living with chronic pain will one day get up and fit seamlessly into a society not made to accommodate me. (Or as if I have any interest in doing so, which,, HAH. Nope!) I’m basically resigned to hearing this from abled people by now, but I’ve noticed fellow spoonies getting frustrated about not being able to do stuff that Abled Society says they should and falling into the pit of “when I’m recovered I’ll meet those standards”. That is not okay!!

For one, chronically ill and disabled people’s lives fit a different pattern than abled people. There is no magical point where all our symptoms vanish and we return to mainstream society — the hint is in the keyword “chronic”. It means that our condition or illness is a) going to stick around for a long, indeterminable length of time, possible lifelong, or b) recurs frequently or consistently. For example, my autism will never go away and I am completely fine with that, but fluctuating circumstances may mean that I manage the traits better at some times than others. My RLS will never go away either, but unlike autism it isn’t constant — I can have weeks, even months, with no symptoms and then suffer for the next six months straight. If I say that I’m recovering, what I mean is “I just had a symptomatic flare-up that knocked me off my feet but I’m managing the fallout better and getting back to my version of normal” NOT “i am now Fully Functioning and able to do bed-linen laundry without pain and suddenly capable of stuff i couldn’t do before.”

Secondly, recovery is a personal experience that nobody else can define. I’ve said it already but boy is it worth reiterating: recovery for chronically ill/disabled folks means getting back to OUR individual version of normal, not ANYONE ELSE’S version of normal. This definition is particularly important when talking about anyone who used to be (more) abled because in those cases, recovery can mean finding a NEW version of normal. 

If someone is in remission for a disease — let’s say cancer, since that’s a Big Thing — they could end up symptom-free, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve recovered. Cancer (both the illness and the treatment of it) puts a huge about of trauma on both the body AND the mind, and they may need to adjust their lifestyle because of that. Expecting your life to go back to 100% normal after an illness/accident is harmful to your mental and physical health and I am SICK of abled society encouraging it. 

Recovery means understanding what your body and mind needs and learning how to provide it so you can live comfortably/manage your symptoms; NOT so that abled people approve of how you live your life! Just remember that 

chapter 20 of htn is short but has so much weight to it. the entirety of the chapter is this: the whole family watches and cleans up and does nothing else while harrow gets violated over and over again by her eldest brother, at the behest of her father.

the chapter begins with gideon penetrating harrow's pelvis, then god makes her whole again, yet claims powerlessness.

he calls her to his rooms and insists she consume things she does not like and does not want, and she does it, because she has nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, and no other form of protection.

the chapter ends with harrow seeking physical solace from the body: a woman, her silent caretaker, john's original victim,

and then it is revealed to us that the poem john recites to harrow is the poe verse at heart of humbert humbert's (of nabakov's lolita) backstory.

i really love the way tamsyn muir navigates incest and sexual violence here. it is inarguable that harrow the ninth is a family drama; john is a patriarch in every sense of the word: a divine patriarch, a scholarly father-figure, and a literal father; harrow's narration posits him as fatherly, ianthe's dialogue refers to him as such, the other lyctors half-jokingly call him daddy; the lyctors dutifully call each other brother and sister. they are god's children, in that he made them, literally or hegemonically, and as both lyctors and theocratic royalty, they interpret god's will. they have a religious compulsion to follow john's orders and to not question him. the lyctor's familial titles call to christian ecclesiastical titles of sister, brother, and father. john uses his self-appointed divine right and the historical hierarchy of the catholic church to perpetuate systematic violence and allegorical rape against harrowhark. john lived out a jesus narrative, coopted historical european aesthetics, political structures, and religion, recreated the catholic church with necromancy as religious praxis, and is now cycling through the historic legacy of that very system—and in this chapter, and harrow the ninth as a whole, the macro becomes the micro. this family dynamic is just a minute example of what is happening empire-wide.

on a non-religious note: i recently read the incest diary by anonymous, and this chapter reminded me of a few sections of that book where the author details moments where she brings up her incestuous abuse from her father to her family: her mother ignores her, just as she has ignored this fact for the author's entire life; her brother refuses to believe her and threatens to kill himself; her close family friend instructs her to never bring it up again, claiming that it happens to all women and that the author should get over it. mercymorn's callous caretaking of harrow in the previous chapter after gideon's first attack on her reminds me of this, as well as ianthe's mean-spirited snickering. the women in harrow's life reluctantly take care of her in the aftermath (if the family friend is to be believed, this happens to all women; it is entirely believable to me that both mercy and ianthe have been victims of sexual violence as well), and john heals her only to then put her in situations where she cannot say no to him. throughout the book, he steadily defiles her boundaries and backs her into emotional corners where she must confess to him, all the while using the threat of constant violence to keep her weak and scared. the physical is just a small part of the incestuous abuse happening in htn—so much of it is psychological, and it's psychological coming from the entire family. harrow's brother and sisters keep her from completely perishing under the weight of these attacks, but only just. and in doing this, they only enable john's abuse.