Terrible Summaries Of Classical Lit

I can’t stop thinking about when Susan Sontag said “I don’t feel guilt at being unsociable, though I may sometimes regret it because my loneliness is painful. But when I move into the world, it feels like a moral fall — like seeking love in a whorehouse.”

No. Laurie. What? You’re being mean. What? How am I being mean? Stop it! Stop it! I have been second to Jo my whole life in everything, and I will not be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her. I won’t do it. I won’t. Not when I’ve spent my entire life loving you.

entelecheia — in the philosophy of Aristotle, the condition of a thing whose essence is fully realized [x]

Top 11 Filthy Beauty Secrets for Youths

1.      Don’t rub at the delicate skin underneath your eyes while frantically trying to clean the dregs of last night’s maddened house party make-up out of your skin before going out into the world. This will cause the infinitesimal fibres of your body to tear, releasing the inexpressible self-loathing that is the unnecessary but gross counter-balance to the wild egotism of your drunken self, causing you to age faster than your teetotaller best friend.

2.      Stretch every night in a dark room. This releases the tensions of the day and relaxes your sinews for the troubled sleep and worrisome dreams to come, so that you can wake springing, without physical soreness, and amaze friends and colleagues with your youthful, swinging stride. The effect is almost more psychological than physical, and comes from knowing that even if your mind could not truly be at rest, at least your hamstrings slept in peace.

3.      Once a month, after midnight, restless: spend hours meditatively examining every inch of your body on the bathroom floor, and trialling the strength of your ability to do no harm. Consider, then refrain from pressing down with the weight of the universe on blocked pores, read the stories of missed opportunities and sliding door moments in the split ends of your hair, see the faded lightning bolts of your growth into your place in the world in the stretch marks and scars, smell the uneasy brine of your hidden parts, and layer cream upon cream on top of yourself, as if you are the ocean crashing white and fresh at the high tide mark. Wake up, and wonder where your time has gone.

4.      Get new sunglasses. Stare.

5.      You know how your skin always looks perfectly airbrushed in your early morning blurry bathroom visit (before your eyes have adjusted into the daytime and the realities of the day ahead have set in, accompanied with the dread and knowledge that you will be constantly observed, analysed and responsible for an array of unnatural and finicky tasks, while always maintaining a presentable surface impression despite a roaring need to run under your cool surface)? To fix this, let yourself roll heavy with sleep back into bed, alone all day, periodically going to the bathroom as needed. Within weeks, you will see all the damage of years in the sun and human company magically reverse.

6.      Go and see a doctor about what’s bothering you, even if you feel stupid or like it’s such a tiny thing. Worlds of relief and solutions open when you ask for scientific, rather than propagandised, help about those little bumps on your arms, these terrible recurring pains in your gut that nobody will speak of, or tell them how much trouble you are having with acne.

7.      When you have a big party to go to, or even a small one, or even a date in a bar, reserve half your Saturday to prep time. When I say that, I don’t mean reserve it for the motions of styling your hair, your eyes, your body, your lips and your fighting teeth and nails, though these acts may be integrated. Reserve half your day to become slow and seductive in anticipation, drawing yourself baths, or lighting up conversations in with your friends, reading half a chapter of that book you always mean to read, then five chapters of an online story you are addicted to, play beats on as loud as they will go and fling open all the doors while you roam like a wild creature from the last millennia around the rooms of your house. Prepare your own soul for the face you want to wear tonight.

8.      If you are having trouble with your sensitive, skin, particularly in gross sensitive places, try going commando for a while. Start with just in bed if this makes you uncomfortable, then if it’s working, graduate to day time. This may mean learning the art of the midi, the long camisole or the flowing pant. As a bonus, you learn how so much of what took for granted is not even necessary at all. The resulting look in your eyes will scare old friends and attract strangers with new ideas.

9.      Exfoliate with a scrap of muslin cloth and the sense of scrappy, sloughing peace that you found in the garden of a woman who is either your mother, or who you wish were your mother. Tell her you love her, even though maybe you don’t particularly feel the truth of love in that moment, because you will eventually feel it at a time when it is impossible to say out loud. The sense of security from having expressed love in this future-oriented way will give you a glow the following night. Replace the dead skin cells with a muddy mixture of expensive dirt and chemicals marketed by a company founded by a woman you are moderately sure is actually a hedge witch from 1605 in disguise. When you start looking, you will soon realise there are many such companies. Don’t let this stress you out. Choose the one you can afford best, with the smell that best lines up with that one time you fell in love with your best friend, and the packaging that looks best in your bathroom trash.

10.   Realise that when someone gives you a physical compliment, this is a fairly rude thing to do, and is usually a reflection of that person’s surprise at something about you that does not line up with their pre-conceived idea about you. In fact, many times the person is using the compliment as a Trojan horse to comment on the change, and does not even mean that new lipstick looks particularly nice, just that it is different from the nude lips you wear every other day. As a result, learn to style yourself in the way that you have road-tested through the process of catching your reflection in shop windows and realising how good you look, or noticing someone copying a particular element of your style, or the amount of pleasure looking at a particular Instagram post of yourself gives you. These are much better indicators of what physical choices suit you. Note that this type of road-testing usually requires refreshing when either you experience a change in climate, city, career or level of irony about being a warm body in an exploding universe where the only truth is entropy.

11.   Adapt or die. Die eventually anyway. Contribute the creative crumbling of your beauty to the garden of the women you love.

— Sunrise, by Louise Glück

#Skywalkers are on that bullshit

eva: Noora!?

|4.08|

SKAM Remakes Masterpost

Since the deluge of SKAM remakes have started, I have had to keep track of a number of different sites/english translations/playlists/character names, so I’m condensing all the information I have into one post for ease of use as a resource.

If you’re totally new here, all of them are based off of the original Norwegian version. Skam = shame in Norwegian. There were 4 seasons. The show is centered around 5 girls at the beginning of high school. Each season focused on a different character and was presented from their perspective. Season 1: Eva. Season 2: Noora. Season 3: Isak. Season 4: Sana. One website was used to provide updates from the main character’s perspective with clips/social media posts/texts/chats.

If you want to watch the original translated into English go here (they also have full episodes of the remakes translated to english when available). This is the original Skam website.

As of the writing of this post, there are only confirmations of up to season 2 for any of the remakes. The main characters involved in those seasons are: Eva, Noora, Vilde, Chris and Sana: the girl squad. Jonas & Isak: Eva’s boyfriend & his friend. Ingrid, Sara: essentially rivals/ex-friends of Eva. William, Chris: “senior” boys.

Remakes are slated for France, Germany, Italy, Spain, the Netherlands & America. America, France, Germany & Italy have all started. Spain, the Netherlands have not. AmSkam (aka Skam Austin, Skam America) is being run by the original Norwegian team, including creator Julie Andem.

The currently releasing remakes are listed below in the order of their premiere. Please assume that official sites are geoblocked for the specific country.

Current as of 9 May 2018. I’ll try to keep this updated as more information is available.

It’s a bit lengthy so under the cut. (Please don’t steal this… it took awhile to make)

This YouTube channel uploads all the clips from all the remakes and generally they get English subtitles.

Skam France (aka Skam la série, Skam Belgique):

Started 6 February 2018. Takes place in Paris, France. Season 1 ended, 4 April 2018. Season 2 started, 9 April 2018. Currently on season 2 focused on Manon. It is, minus a few french cultural adjustments, exactly like the original series with plot and script. Unlike the original, unfortunately, Skam France doesn’t have a centralized website with clips/social media/texts.

Official site with clips/episodes

Official Instagram

English translations

Spotify playlist of songs featured in the series

Characters & their social media:

Eva  > Emma Borgés - Instagram

Noora > Manon Demissy - Instagram

Vilde > Daphné Lecomte - Instagram

Chris > Alexia Martineau - Instagram

Sana > Imane Bakhellal - Instagram

Jonas > Yann Cazas - Instagram

Isak > Lucas Lallemant- Instagram

William > Charles Munier - Instagram

Chris > Alexandre Delano - Instagram

Ingrid > Ingrid Spielman - Instagram

Sara > Sarah Bui - Instagram

Druck (aka Skam Germany):

Started 14 March 2018. Currently on season 1, focused on Hanna. They’ve also already switched up the scenes/script, but the main plot points appear to be the same.

Official site with all updates: clips, episodes, texts, social media, etc.

Official YouTube with clips/episodes (geoblocked)

Funk - German website with clips/eps (not geoblocked), no subs

English translations

Spotify playlist with songs featured in the series

Sign up for WhatsApp updates

You can also ask them questions, give feedback apparently this way as well

Characters & their social media:

Eva  > Hanna Jung - Instagram

Noora > Mia Amalie Winter - Instagram / Tumblr

Vilde > Kiki Machwitz - Instagram

Chris > Sam M’Pele - Instagram

Sana > Amira Thalia Mahmood - Instagram

Jonas > Jonas Augustin - Instagram

Isak > Matteo Florenzi - Instagram

William > Alexander Hardenberg

Chris > Samuel Fischer - Instagram

Ingrid > Leonie Richter - Instagram

Sara > Sara

Skam Italia:

Started 23 March 2018. Takes place in Rome, Italy. Currently on season 1 focused on Eva. They’ve already switched up the scenes/script a bit, but the main plot points appear to be the same.

Official site with all updates: clips, episodes, texts, social media, etc.

clips are only available until midnight the day they’re posted

Episodes

Official playlist

English translations: Tumblr/ YouTube / Twitter

usually Twitter/YouTube is updated faster

Spotify playlist with songs featured in the series (this looks official but it may not be)

If you have WhatsApp if you text +393319055583, your name and then Aggiornami, they’ll text you when updates happen and sometimes gifs

Characters & their social media: 

Eva  > Eva Brighi - Instagram

Noora > Elenora Sava - Instagram

Vilde > Silvia Mirabella - Instagram

Chris > Federica Cacciotti - Instagram

Sana > Sana Allagui - Instagram

Jonas > Giovanni Garau - Instagram

Isak > Martino Rametta - Instagram

William > Edoardo Incanti

Chris > Federico Canegallo - Instagram

Ingrid > Laura

Sara > Sara

Skam Austin (aka AmSkam, Skam USA, Skam America):

Starte 24 April 2018 on Facebook Watch. Currently on season 1 focused on Megan. Takes place at Bouldin High School in Austin, TX, USA. Run by the original Skam team including Julie Andem (creator/director/showrunner), Mari Magnus (social media content), Susanna Taylor (wardrobe/make Up) & Daniel McStay (cinematography).

Trailer (YouTube)

Official site (Facebook Watch) with all updates

Official Instagram

Spotify playlist with songs used in the series

Tumblr with updates (English) 

Social Media:

Bouldin Kittens (Dance Team) - Instagram

Overheard Bouldin - Instagram

Eva > Megan Flores - Instagram

Noora > Grace Olsen - Instagram

Vilde > Kelsey - Instagram 

Chris > Josefine Valencia - Instagram 

Sana > Zoya Ali - Instagram

Jonas > Marlon - Instagram

Shay Dixon - Instagram

Tyler Nunez - Instagram 

William > Daniel

Chris > Jordan Díaz - Instagram 

Ingrid > Abigail - Instagram