WE 👏 NEED 👏 GUIGSY 👏 FANPAGES 👏

Oh my god the onlyfans au is INSANELY hot and Im also really invested in what happens next since oh no he was too horny to remember that stupid tattoo (peak vale). Excellent stuff.

The comments that I have gotten about Vale being stupid and horny are hilarious. You’re so right that being stupidhorny is peak Vale.

This one doesn’t have any porn. I promise we’ll get back to the porn. They just both have to be stupid for a bit first.

And as a treat we finally get to hear a bit about Marc’s perspective!

TW: Uccio

Rosquez OnlyFans au, part 5/?

You have the same tattoo as Valentino Rossi!

Vale stares at the message.

The same… what the fuck? Vale can’t tell if Marc is being deliberately obtuse or if he’s fucking with him. There’s no way Marc is aware of his name being Valentino and the very corny, very identifiable tattoo, and he thinks it’s a coincidence.

There’s no way, right?

He has to be lying. Maybe he’s known the entire time. But if he knew the entire time, why wouldn’t he have asked him for more money? Or tickets to races, or new bikes? He’s clearly a fan, if he knows about the tattoo.

The unstoppable horny part of him wonders if Marc has ever jerked off to a picture of him, as a fan, before ever talking to him.

He’s staring at his phone, mentally turning this all over, when Uccio walks in. He stands no chance against his oldest friend, who immediately clocks that something is wrong.

He confesses everything immediately, from the porn addiction to the sexting with a stranger. He can’t even look at Uccio’s face when he admits that he sent the other man a picture that very obviously identified him.

“And he knows your real name?”

“He knows it’s Valentino,” he confirms, massaging his temples.

“You have to cut him off,” Uccio says. “Block him.”

Vale is already shaking his head.

“I can’t—“

“You have to,” Uccio interrupts. “What will you do if he releases that to the press?”

Vale squawks in indignation. “He wouldn’t!”

Uccio frowns.

“You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about him, aside from what his dick looks like!”

Vale scrambles to remember anything they’ve talked about.

“He has a brother!” he argues.

Uccio gives him a flat look.

“What’s his last name?”

The silence that follows is conspicuous.

“Block him,” Uccio repeats. “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

Vale hands the phone over, a pit developing in his stomach.

Xx

You have the same tattoo as Valentino Rossi!

In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to say. It hadn’t even occurred to Marc in the moment (he was incredibly horny, give him a break) that the motorcycles, first name Valentino, and turtle tattoo might have meant that the man was actually Valentino Rossi.

The Valentino Rossi.

The Valentino Rossi that Marc spent hours watching as a kid, dreaming of meeting. The Valentino Rossi that Marc was desperate to emulate until his career-ending injury.

…The Valentino Rossi that may or may not have been his sexual awakening. Marc has jerked his cock raw to photos of Valentino Rossi more than once.

He has no idea what to do with this information. How does he go about approaching the subject?

“Holy shit, I didn’t realize you were my idol, can I please suck your dick? I’ll do it for free. You don’t even have to send me money anymore.”

Marc is mulling this over when he refreshes the page and, out of nowhere, Vale is gone.

Blocked.

Marc understands why, objectively, Vale’s response would have been to block him. If Marc told anyone about this it could be very bad for Valentino’s career.

Still, it stings. It feels like a punch to the chest.

He had hoped that he and Valentino had been talking long enough at this point that the man would at least trust him enough to come clean or answer his questions. Maybe they could have even continued their little relationship, if it could even be called that.

Against his will, tears well up in his eyes. He’d been talking to his idol this whole entire time, and all he’d done was send stupid videos and jerk off.

It feels like a wasted opportunity. He’s let himself down by accidentally sabotaging what he had with Valentino. If he just hadn’t mentioned the tattoo, or if he’d just thought for thirty seconds before sending the message, he could still be messaging with Vale.

Instead, here he is. Crying on his couch in Madrid, staring at his OnlyFans page.

He’s tempted to take one of the bikes out for a spin, but he doesn’t think he could bear to look at one now. All he can think about is Valentino, Valentino, Valentino.

"Papi"

OF COURSE HE DONE IT "PAPI" "SI PAPI" "TU ERES MI PAPI" "SOY SOLO TUYO PAPI"

LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME MARC DIDN'T TOLD HIM THAT OMG

do you think marc has called vale papi ?

I got guns in my head and they won't go Spirits in my head and they won't go

mikey's solo!!!!! we love a supportive crowd (youtube link)

Me, literally

Unprompted ghost memes

We were robbed

F1 Babygirl Contest: Final Round Nico Rosberg VS Charles Leclerc

Okay, let's try this again because tumblr apparently hates me and my posts don't show up in the tags for some reason

Hey who set my dumpster on fire?!?!

Oh! It’s just Tyler Joseph

He’s getting out!!

He’s coming over!! Oh he looks kind of angry…

OH GOD OH FUCK

Due to personal reasons this user loves CrankThatFrank

Ayrton Senna in Lotus 99T, 1987 /// Valentino Rossi on YZR-M1, 2006