♡♡ ATTENTION CAT LOVERS! WE FOUND THE PERFECT PRODUCTS FOR YOU ♡♡

I'm SO jealous right now, where I'm from web don't have nice-smelling, men-replacing, burning delights like this one all of you are describing 🥲

Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?

I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.

Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.

Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.

I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.

Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.

“Do you like this one?” the cashier asked, ringing me up. “Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,” I replied intensely. “That’ll be $12.01,” she said.

MOUNTAIN LODGE

Lovely

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

Post the most recent gif you have with no context

men

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

That's no dog, that's a skinwalker bro

Yup, that's what I call 'double trouble', it's a real problem that's being ignored under the pretense of rules and people believe the professionals are like gods Who can't and won't make mistakes

Neurotypicals have so much unjustified faith in The System™. I’ve been trained as both an EMT and a CNA and in both classes the teacher straight up told us “This is the law, do not be fooled by the fact that when you do your clinicals you will see professionals openly breaking the law and not facing any consequences for it.” But when I try to tell people that healthcare professionals regularly abuse and neglect their patients and face zero consequences they always insist that that can’t happen because there are rules.

Most beautiful baby ever 🥹🥹

Bulbasaur was never the same after that day 🐉