Apple-pie Cookies 🧸

We do not condone telling other people to off themselves because of fanfiction( or for any other reason, really)

and guys don’t be afraid to tell a rape kink writer to off themselves before you go sleep

The gaza donation roombas on here are getting more sophisticated while the general userbase of this website is somehow getting more retarded. I just saw a post with a deadass uncanny valley AI generated video of a woman asking for money in the most monotonous roomba voice and 1000+ sympathetic notes jhasbfjasfhb the Nigerian Princes are turning in their graves rn

It's true, tho

hot take arthur morgan x john marston is borderline incest

“The point of monsterfucking is __”

Shut up shut up shut up shut up.

The point of monsterfucking is whatever the monsterfucker wants it to be.

Sometimes it’s loving the unlovable.

Sometimes it’s fucking a sexy monster.

Sometimes it’s something else.

I’m fucking sick and tired of people saying there’s a wrong way to be a monsterfucker.

There’s no wrong way.

Be free, monsterfuckers. There’s no god to judge you here.

stop why does he look like mads as hannibal

I would totally tell him that his smile is as pure as a kuoka's 🤣🤣🤣

They were wild for posting this

You know what they say, if a man in your life idealizes any of this characters, run

I'm SO jealous right now, where I'm from web don't have nice-smelling, men-replacing, burning delights like this one all of you are describing 🥲

Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?

I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.

Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.

Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.

I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.

Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.

“Do you like this one?” the cashier asked, ringing me up. “Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,” I replied intensely. “That’ll be $12.01,” she said.

MOUNTAIN LODGE

Same, poor Sean🥺🥺 (and Dutch was kind of a c*nt all the time and made everything about himself, especially when Arthur was on the last stages of TB)

RDR2 Spoilers underneath the cut because I know the game came out in 2018 but people like me haven’t played it.

SEANS DEATH HAD ME SPEECHLESS, MY MAN HAD NO SCREEN TIME WHATSOEVER. I literally loved that little lad how am I supposed to function now?

I also can’t for the love of God like Dutch in any way 🙏🙏

Lovely

Resident Evil characters as John Mulaney quotes:

Jill Valentine:

Leon Kennedy:

Albert Wesker:

Rebecca Chambers:

Jake Muller:

Billy Coen:

Claire Redfield:

Chris Redfield:

William Birkin:

Sherry Birkin: