And I Might Be Okay But I'm Not Fine At All

🎉🎉 I WISH I WAS DEAD 🎉🎉

Let’s talk about how hard it is to open up to someone for being sad for no reason. Let’s talk about how hard it is to explain to your friends and family that you have this heavy feeling in your chest for no reason. Let’s talk about how hard it is to understand why you’re having a panic attack while just taking a walk back home. Let’s talk about how hard it is to understand your own self and how scary it is to feel like the whole world is falling on your shoulders and you have no idea why.

“do you want to talk about it?”

no, i want to kill myself because of it.

“You’ll be okay. Storms don’t last forever.”

— Unknown

You are not what happened to you. You didn't deserve to go through all that. You deserved to be loved, to feel safe, to be safe. You deserved kindness. Patience. You deserved better.

“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

my parents were never really bad nor toxic for that matter, they loved me and i know

it's just that my mom never really told me she loved, she never hugged me tight, she never really cared how i was feeling, she sometimes says things that hurt me, things i'll never forget (i still don't understand why she says them, i don't think i ever will), still, she does everything she can to be the best mom she can be, despite everything, she struggles to keep it all together for us and i know that

my dad is a good father too, he's just not a good husband, he never really loved mom, nor did she, their relationship was never really good at all, he never really did much to make it better, it was all on mom's back, he had problems of his own too, but he was selfish and stubborn, he always thinks he's right, he hurts her and she stays silent until she lets it out on us.

my parents are trying their best, it's just that their best was never enough..

“I hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you’re unwanted.”

— Unknown

Awwww

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