Autistic Joke

Image converted to text under the cut:

Please stop

I am begging, BEGGING you, whoever you are, to stop writing these. About ten years ago the titles were funny, and the twitter account was funny, and the lore around the clearly fictional Chuck Tingle was funny, but around the time Trump was elected, they turned into increasingly deranged, uninformed and mediocre political diatribes masquerading as whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Literature? Satire? I think the author is going for satire, but unfortunately these books are not satire. They're not funny, they're not clever, they're not subtle, and they're not nuanced. And they're not funny. Did I mention that?

This one is particularly hellacious, because it's clearly just the author getting frustrated about something and thinking "Time to write a Chuck Tingle book to tell everyone how I feel about this subject!" The creators of South Park occasionally do something similar, but their show is actually witty and relevant, unlike this hot garbage. The only thing funny about this book, if it can even be called a book, is that it very obviously and embarrassingly reveals the author for who she is (I'm going out on a limb and guessing "Chuck Tingle" is female). Because although obviously a bisexual in a heterosexual relationship is still bisexual, nobody who is actually gay OR bisexual will disagree that there is a huge influx of functionally straight people opting into being "queer" (I hate that word) out of guilt for being part of the majority, or the desire to partake in the fetish of victimhood that has permeated our society in the past ten years, or maybe they're just trying to be cooler than they are. They're mostly straight women. Wild guess here: "Chuck Tingle" is one of them, and is mad that she was called out at some point for doing exactly that.

In any case: Chuck Tingle, go away. Go away and put down your pen and call it a day and close this tired, unfunny, embarrassing chapter of your life. And get some counseling or something.

all time funniest review. someone please check on the scoundrels they are very riled over our joy

the audiobook for NOT POUNDED BY BI ERASURE BECAUSE MY CURRENT HETERO-PRESENTING RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY QUEERNESS is available here

Oh I'm going to be seeing this show later this month!

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

Patch note: references to "falling" and "falls" have been perceived as frightening. To better enable casual references and conversation these episodes have been renamed "unexpectedly sitting" and "unplanned lying down".

I got scammed by a hole in the wall cash only cobbler and I'm so jealous. Still ragging about paying $50 to replace a zipper on my work books and then they replaced the zipper on the wrong fucking boot.

My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.

Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.

So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”

The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”

So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.

The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.

The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.

This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.

I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.

I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.

Vaspider, I'm scared.

Honey, we’re all scared. Courage is turning your fear into a weapon. I’m afraid, and I use my fear to fight. Use your fear as a weapon. Turn your anger into a blade. The forging of that weapon may take time, but work on it every day. Every day, sharpen your fear. Turn it into a blade. Use it for attack or defense, but make a blade of your fear.

Incorrect.

“If, however, you’re a trans woman who has had bottom surgery to create a vagina (vaginoplasty) and possibly a cervix, there’s a very small risk that you can develop cancer in the tissues of your neo-vagina or neo-cervix.”

Which is from the first result when you google, “trans woman vaginoplasty cervix”.

I am relaying what the surgeon who will preform my hysterectomy told me because my cervix will be removed and I will be given a neo cervix. He actually called it a “plug”. But I find that idea a little gross and so just described its purpose.

Also, the cervix dilates to allow menstrual fluid to pass out of the uterus. Crap enters the vagina that doesn’t belong in the uterus. That same crap also does not belong in the abdominal cavity. So surgeons don’t just leave the vaginal canal uncapped or “plugged”. Whether or not they just sew it shut or create a neo cervix depends.

Trans women who have had surgery still need to visit the urologist, not the gynecologist, because the former is familiar with our surgeries and the latter is not. You need to stop lying and spreading misinformation which could get someone killed.

Wow, everything you said is completely wrong. So it's very funny that you think my 'misinformation' is going to 'get someone killed'. That hyperbole is fear mongering and also that's just a really aggressive way to speak to a complete stranger. Especially to accuse me of 'lying'.

So let me clear up your misunderstandings.

Firstly, urologist specialize in the urinary system, which include the bladder and kidneys and also the uterus. They aren't like the male version of gynecologists. For example, urologist treat organ prolapse, where the bladder, uterus, or colon "fall" into the vagina, or will treat fistulas, especially bladder fistulas. (Which is a hole connecting the bladder and vagina.)

Secondly, Vaginoplasties are preformed by reconstructive surgeons not urologist or gynecologist in the vast, vast majority of cases. Also, vaginoplasties are not a trans specific surgery. Severe vaginal injuries, such as those caused by childbirth or disease, are also treated with a vaginoplasty.

It's laughable any ol' off the shelf urologist is "familiar" with the surgery. Plenty of doctors still refuse to preform even the simplest trans-specific healthcare 'because it's not a usual part of their practice they are comfortable preforming' let alone complex reconstructive surgery.

But my original comment wasn't about vaginoplasties, it was about checking the cervix for cancer.

So, thirdly, trans women aren't the only women with neo-cervixies. In addition to the above, people who have undergone hysterectomies of one kind or another often have a neo-cervix as well. Or, for example, if someone has cervical cancer, and needs their cervix removed, they give that person another cervix.

Because the cervix is a very important part of that set of anatomy. It keeps the uterus and other organs from prolapsing (just falling out) and is also something of a barrier that keeps junk out of the uterus. And if you don't have a uterus, it keeps junk out of the abdominal cavity.

The procedure to check a cervix for cancer is the same regardless of if its a neo-cervix or a cervix-cervix.

Meaning, gynecologist are also familiar with the cervix aspect of a vaginoplasty. As well as the rest of the vaginoplasty. Because they treat people who've had vaginoplasties. So, you know, it's perfectly normal to go see a gynecologist to have your vagina looked at.

A basic pap smear is actually simple enough it can be done with an at home kit (though if anything needs to be biopsied they'll need you in the stirrups for that).

So uh, recommending you see a gynecologist for a vaginal specific issue isn't horribly dangerous misinformation, it isn't even misinformation. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

If a surgeon made you a vagina, that surgeon should tell you what vagina problems to look out for, what health screening you need, and what specialists you should have preform those tests for you. They'll also likely be able to refer you to someone trans friendly if needed.

Getting an at home pap smear test from a general practitioner is not a big deal. There's no need to see a urologist for that. If you need your neo-cervix biopsied there's no reason not to go see a gynocologist since trans women aren't the only ones with neo cervix.

And also most urologist offices aren't going to have speculums and stirrups.

Trans health care is not some big secret only select medical disciplines are let in on.

A general practitioner can prescribe hormones and keep you up to date on the tests you need for that. A plastic surgeon with experience is going to preform the surgeries, MtF or FtM. A general practitioner can send you home with a pap smear kit, or preform one in the office, even. A gynecologist can look at your vagina, because it's not a special or trans exclusive vagina. A urologist can look at a urinary tract or bladder infection or what have you.

Acting like trans health care is some super secret complicated thing is transphobic. That's something transphobic doctors say as an excuse not to treat trans people.

A friend of mine had a complication develop after surgery and needed a local urologist to fix it. The long term fix was surgical, but the urologist could have drained the painful mass that developed while she traveled to see her surgeon. But he refused. So did the doctors at the Emergency Room.

So she got to enjoy a very painful very long very bumpy bus ride from her rural college to the city where her surgeon was so he could take care of it for her.

YOU'RE the one who needs to 'stop lying and spreading misinformation' because your misinformation perpetuates the excuse transphobic doctors use to avoid treating trans people at all.

It is not a trans need to have a painful surgical complication corrected and it is not complicated to drain an abscess. But that doctor refused her, not because the abscess was caused by an unfamiliar surgery, but because she required that surgery because she was trans.

You are telling trans people that our medical needs are complex and overwhelming and scary. That's discouraging. And it's just not true.

Urologist don't preform vaginoplasties. Urologist aren't extra familiar with trans women's health needs. The cervix isn't part of the Urologist's specialty.

Calm down. Going to see a gynecologist for a pap smear isn’t going to kill anyone. And the gynecology field as a whole is making an effort to be more welcoming to trans women because it’s perfectly normal for trans women to see a gynecologist.

I'm on the East Coast, went to sleep at 9 pm, hoping to sleep through the night. Nope, nightmare and awake at 11:00 pm.

People are freaking out based on these early results and I just can't with that shit tonight. We know how it goes - Republicans look like they're doing well early on, then as more votes are counted and more polls close there's the shift. And yet every time we lose our minds.

I’d like to point out one way to support the need to mark up books while reading is to give away weeded books (such as 9 out of 10 of the year old James Patterson's) to the people in question. My mom’s picked up many interesting books at library weeding sales (including a reusable grocery bag’s worth for $10). I would happily let people with the print disability you describe have first dibs to the books in question. I’m sure many other’s would as well.

They won’t be able to read best seller’s immediately but sometimes life’s like that. I’m dyslexic and my ability to read-read instead of listen-read is EXTREMELY limited.

I recently read most of “Make, Sew, Mend” by Bernadette Banner and it took me three months.

I need someone to read comic books to me.

I’ve thrifted many books I’ve already read and have the audio book as well in order to annotate them. And so far I just... haven’t.

I bought a set of children’s poetry books two years ago now and haven’t read a single one cover to cover.

There are many niche book’s I’d like to read but won’t get the chance.

So... when I say, “sometimes life’s like that”, my life is like that. My needs are not greater than someone else’s needs. Neither is my right to books.

One of the reasons that I personally think the answer, "because it's not yours" is not a good enough reason on its own to the question of "why is it bad to mark up library books," is because of the first "yes" answer I suggested in the poll. There are some people who are not effectively able to read books unless they can mark them - underline, circle, star, take notes, etc. This is probably an extremely small percentage of people, but I know for a fact that they do exist. And the suggestions of taking notes on post-its or a separate piece of paper won't work for them, because they will need to mark up the book in order to effectively parse it.

Now, I still don't think it is ok for individuals in that situation to take notes in a library book. Those markings still damage the book, and they will interfere with other people's ability to read to book. As far as I'm concerned, that is a case of competing accessible needs where unfortunately the result is that some people just aren't able to access a certain resource in a way that they need to.

But I do think it's important to recognize that such a competing need exists, and that certain people will be prevented from fully accessing a community resource because they can't mark up library books. And if you stop the analysis with, "because it's not yours," you can't account for those people and their experience and needs.

In regards to "male aligned" and "female" or "woman aligned". If you want to take a gender experience that is not and could never by my own than you should really call me "fairy aligned". Its much more accurate to my experiences.

Also, as a MINOR she has the right to break the contract she signed regarding the goat at any time. So in trying to "teach her a lesson about following the rules" they broke rules regarding contract laws protecting minors.

I watched lawtube covering this when it went down and oh my god I'm still so angry about it.