Androgyny But Patrick Gill Flavored

saturday shorts implies the existence of shorts for every other day of the week, named accordingly.

fuckin gorgeous??? i always love these styles of watercolor paintings

Lovely rose ♡ by gladiismoreno

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it—because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree—so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

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hello fellow polygon pals! i wanted to make this into a more coherent post than my regular shitpost abt wanting As Much Cyberpunk Red Gameplay As Possible from our beloved cyberpunk gang.

here is what we know:

alas, saturday will be the final episode of ring box. that being said, it’s been lovely freaking out w/ u all abt this wacky little campaign. jenna is truly an icon

however, as with most youtube series of this nature, there is potential for continuation,

but it’s completely dependent on the views that ring box receives:

as jenna said in her replies on twitter, the best thing to do is to tell your pals about it, if you think they’d be interested! or potentially if you’re into polygon and haven’t gotten around to watching it yet, perhaps now is the time!

i’m not sure how the nuances of view counting works, but it also makes great background noise. i like to have something familiar playing, be it a video, a TV show, music, etc. playing while i’m working on my computer, and i’ve passively watched/listened to ring box a few times since the release of the first episode. i’d highly recommend!

additionally, a good secondary thing to do would be to voice your love for it on social media, to everyone involved, and also to polygon. that way, even if there doesn’t end up being a continuation, the gang (+ clayton, the editor sent right from the gods themselves) will know that it’s treasured among those who have seen it, and that we really appreciate all their hard work.

ok that’s all! have a nice day friends!! 💖💖

jenna naming the arc "the ring box" was just... the power that has,, the levels of meaning... *chefs kiss*

69 >:)

see the day - the altogether lmao

(number seventy was verbatim by mother mother, which would be INFINITELY better in 69th place, but here we are)

brian david gilbert be like yea this concept is funny, but you know what would be better? if it had a complete and cathartic narrative arc

The Altogether

→ id: Six gifs of Patrick Gill. He is thin and pale with chin-length dark brown hair and circular glasses. He is wearing a black graphic tee and sitting on a couch with a microphone in front of him. In the gifs, he fusses with his hair, pushing it back, deliberately messing it up, and finally pulling back the top half and smiling.