I Hate Sitting On The Floor It Makes Me Feel So Homeschooled

psychoanalyzing the gender/identity dichotomy between ice skating and ice hockey and coming to the more objectively correct conclusion that ice hockey is rooted in motherly feminine behavior of protecting the nest and that ice skating is about masculine peacocking of one's own physical prowess in seeking a mate

"nina simone isn't overrated she was a major 20th century artist" no. you're wrong. she is underrated until every man woman and child on this goddamn earth loves her music

gonna need a second coffee table for all these coffee table books

a spit take isnt enough i need some pearls to clutch

40° today, time to bring out the grandpa sweaters

Definitely one of the funniest feature discord has added.

WARNING! ANNOYING BITCH HAS BREACHED THE PERIMETER!!!

DO YOU WISH TO EVACUATE?

come one ! come all !

to morrow night we hear the fall

of child a brethren many in may

of mother of florals cries at pray

to the fiery theater where steam is high

while the malicious spirit shall freely fly

unto a moor upon the sea

the spirit in counting travels free.

solitude of the highest fair

may find its pennies here in there

but in the dome of secret plays

withering ignorance may wonder astray.

partly due to uncounted ballots

sneeking in parties of untimely bandits

burglars of short, plump and mellow

yet filled with teacake; a worthy fellow !

it’s not really a kraken game if john and edzo haven’t had at least one ridiculous side conversation in the first 5 minutes lmfao

mjp

Dentist confessional. Like, forgive me doctor for I have sinned. I have partaken of the wine. Not only that, but the coffee and the tea. I consume carbonated beverages regularly. I eat sweets such as saltwater taffy and caramels. On the weekend, if I sleep in, I only brush my teeth at night. And then the dentist is like, "and are you flossing, my child?" and they just have to look away