My Head Is A Hive Of Words That Won't Settle.

desi dark academia moodboard set in punjab, india

"the world seems crowded with unfinished lives". // ruskin bond, delhi is not far

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I wish I could write you a song,

So you’ll fall in love with me

I wish I was Orpheus or Pyramus or mirza

I wish I was Mahiwal and you were my Sohni

I hear these stories and you’re the one I think of,

I’m not supposed to, I know, but I’ve got no control.

I want to write down your name,

On a blank piece of paper,

And recite it all day, all night and again.

Like an echo in a cave,

I chant incessantly,

To me it is all the same

Heaven, God, Death and your name.

I wouldn’t turn my head,

I’d trust that you’re with me,

I wouldn’t stop and rest

Until we’d outran the peril

I would build you a boat,

You wouldn’t need a pitcher

I’d slay a lioness, or 108 suitors,

Who threatens you, my rage shall consume.

I wish to fight a war for a cause

Win or lose come home to you

What more do you want?

You’ve got an atheist wishing for you

To a God he doesn’t believe in

For a thing that he can’t get.

LOVE LETTERS<333.

Umr guzregi imtehaan mein kya?

~Jaun Eliya

Umr guzregi imtehaan mein kya

daag hi denge mujhko daan mein kya

Meri har baat be-asar rahi,

nuks hai kuch mere bayan mein kya

Mujhko koi tokta bhi nahi,

yahi hota hai khandaan mein kya

Apni mahrumiyan chupate hai,

hum gharibon ki an ban mein kya

Khuda ko jaana judaa zamane se,

aa gaya tha mere gumaan mein kya

Shaam hi se dukan-e-did hai band ,

nahi nuksaan tak dukaan mein kya

Ae mere shab-o-sham-e-dil ki shafak,

tu nahati hai ab bhi baan mein kya

Bolte kyun nahi mere haq mein,

aable pad gaye zabaan mein kya

Khamoshi keh rahi kaan mein kya

aaraha hai koi mere gumaan mein kya

Dil ki aati hai jisko dhyaan bohot,

khud hi aata hai apne dhyaan mein kya

Wo mile toh unse puchna hai mujhe,

ab bhi main hoon unke amaan mein kya

Yun jo takta hai aasman ko tu,

koi rehta hai asmaan mein kya

Hai naseeb-e-bahaar gard alud,

khaakh udti hai uss makaan mein kya

Ye mujhe chain kyun nahi padta

ek hi shaks tha jahaan mein kya?

Time doesn't bring relief. It does being forgetfulness(because of old age and helps if you already have a terrible memory)... the pain you feel is still as gut wrenching as it once was... the only difference being, you forget to remember it as much.

Edna-St-Vincent-Millay // André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

— September 7, 1913 / Franz Kafka diaries

Chand sharmayega yun na chandni raat mein zulfein savaara kijiye

The moon will blush looking at you, don't play with your hair in this moonlit night.

mere chand ko dekhkar chand bhi sharma gaya

even the moon got shy after looking at my moon

chand mera dil chandni ho tum

moon is my heart and you are it's moonlight

chand se parda kijiye kahin chura na le chehre ka noor

veil from the moon what if it steals the glow of your face

chand si mehbooba ho meri kab aisa maine socha tha

when did i ever thought that my beloved will be like the moon

chanda bhi deewana hai tera

even the moon is crazy about you

I read. Obsessively. Because, when I read, there is purpose to my loneliness.

Tony Hoagland, from “Peaceful Transition”, What Narcissism Means to Me

ਬੜੀ ਦੂਰੋਂ ਚੱਲ ਕੇ ਪਹੁੰਚੇ ਹਾਂ, ਇੰਜ ਨਾਂ ਸੱਜਣਾ ਬੂਹਾ ਢੋ।

Badi duro chall ke pahunche aa, inj na sajjna buha dho

ਮੇਰੇ ਕੋਲ ਨੇ ਗੱਲਾਂ ਦੋ, ਜਾਂ ਆਪਣਾ ਕਰ, ਜਾਂ ਮੇਰਾ ਹੋ।

Mere kol ne gallan do, ya aapna kar, ya mera ho

I've travelled miles to come see you, please do not shut the door

I just have two things to say to you, either be mine, or make me yours.