A Good Reminder For Anybody That Anyone Great Had To Start Somewhere.

Pretty Random Turtle Thunks: Sway

Rating: Cookies and Cream (16+ plz and thank you)

Do you ever think about Leo and how he’s the king of Insomnia?

He knows a little something about what it’s like to be haunted. To have your bones ache with the ghosts of weary exhaustion; a feeling that unfortunately more often than not makes one feel more dead than alive.

He understands the drag of having to pry your eyes open for just another day, plaster on a smile that stopped feeling real years ago and then attempt to go at it with only half energy in your cup.

Leo understands the rolling around feelings of restlessness, like the waves of a dyspeptic ocean, never settling.

Never still enough to ever find peace.

So can you imagine when Leo finds out one way or another (as he so often does, clever turtle that he is) that somehow you are plagued with a similar state of mind?

It may be for various reasons: work, family, life, responsibilities etc etc and despite the variety of it all, he probably would get it more than most. For despite all the differences, there is a startling amount of connection, a unique relateablilty if you will, between the two of you, that unconsciously draws him close. It’s because of this connection that his heart just… sinks. Leo may very well be a swashbuckling charismatic pirate for all these years he’s learned to travail against his insomnia seas. But you…

You are no such experienced sailor.

The waters of sleep are relentless in their cruelty in their attempt to escape you. And ever in lucks favor, and that being none at all, you are found hopelessly drifting, never to find your own serenity amongst the ever agitated waves.

Perhaps it is that fabled connection that draws Leo close to you tonight, or the fact that you were starting to look like a pale, drawn out tired sail, more than Leo ever cared to see.

He had seen enough ghosts in his own mirrored reflections. Your eyes did not need the weight of such horrors. They were last place he ever wanted to see haunted.

So with actions trickling from his own well of compassion, Leo wordlessly sweeps you up into the cradle of his arms, even despite your indignant squawk something reminiscent of a seagull’s cry. Not that he minds or even will admit to ever listening to you as he begins to rock you.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back. And. Forth.

Despite all his bravado, Leo never truly believed he was ever worthy of the title of hero. He would fight everything and everyone, including himself, to prove it to the world, to prove it to you, if he could.

And yet…there was something empowering about the feeling of you in his hold.

The way your eyelashes fluttered slowly shut, the hitches of your breath steadied and the planes of your face smoothed. Leo didn’t feel the need to take on the world, not anymore, not when his whole entire world was now here resting in the security of his arms. And so, much like a boat resting in the embrace of the calmest waves, Leo rocks you in the simplest of sways, humming the softest of tunes as he holds you close against his plastron. Silently praying that the beat of his heart would be the siren’s call that would set the rhythm for which you could finally fall asleep. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back. And. Forth.

…

Do you ever think about Leo and how he’s the king of Insomnia?

I don’t know if I can show you, but here’s a piece of one very cool thing

This One’s For The Boys

For my guys, my dudes, my broskis, my mates, my pals, and most importantly, my friends

The Sunshine Boys: those who are so good it's kinda hard to believe they actually exist. Not a mean bone in their body. Always got something nice to say. Works quietly in the background, but is always there for you. Smiles are literally blinding; so full of sunshine goodness and light. Honestly just makes your heart warm to see them again. Life is better simply because they light up every single life they touch, and just like the sun, you desperately miss the warmth of their soul and wholesome character when they are gone. Also somehow also a living golden retriever???

The Cinnamon Roll Boys: boys too sweet and wholesome for this world. May or may not give you a cavity. Always spending time in the kitchen thinking about what new masterpieces they want to create. Secret quiet confidence. A real classic gentleman. The type of boy your momma would love, and your siblings want to be their brother. Strong desire to squish face cheeks because they've got that strong baby energy.  Always there with a smile, a hug and a warm plate of homemade cookies. Compassionate to the max, they just wanna share that goodness with everybody. Always makes you feel welcome and part of the family. Best Friend Material hands down, so he will tease. You have been warned. 

The Adventure Boys: Makes everything seem like a grand adventure. Excitedly grabs your hand with a reckless grin, bright eyes and pulls you into whatever form of mischief they're currently up to. Karaoke jam sessions in the car, late-night food runs, stickers and memorabilia of every trip. Doesn't take pictures as much as they probably should because they're always too caught up in the moment. A little reckless, making your heart race just a little, but heart of gold because they just want to experience the world with you. Every adventure becomes a fond memory with soft but often exasperated smiles. 

The Grass Boys: Quiet soft boys who feel more comfortable out in the sun or up in a tree somewhere. Fantastic listener, wicked observant, probably a closet nerd, but is an engaging story teller once you get to know him. Messy hair always up in a baseball cap with golden skin that's been kissed from adventures out in the sun all day. Has fingers and shoes stained with something he's working on. The handyman, knows oodles of random facts and probably could fix anything if you give enough time and a little bit of duct tape. Dad  in training. Not afraid to take the lead when needed to, but always going to make sure your voice has been included. 100% would be the type to dance in the rain with you. 

The Fire Boys: Boys with boisterous voices and quick tongues whose passions blaze within their hearts. Intense and a little in your face, but they just can't hold back how much they feel. Never afraid to stand up for what they believes in and is loyal almost to a fault. Will fight you and for you. Stubborn and doesn't back down, always wanting to find justice for the world because just wants to make it better. Sometimes anger runs away from him, and worlds may burn a little, but there will be nowhere safer than in the warmth of this boy's hug. 

To all the boys, I'm sorry that we live in a world where your thoughts and feelings have been dismissed and made trivial. 

You are important. You are needed. Your influence is making a difference and the world needs more goodness like you. 

From a girl who sees you, is proud of your efforts and loves you from a distance for the wonderful person that you are. 

Funny enough, I didn’t think I was going to reblog this today but I was doing a personal study this morning where I just happened to read something that applied.

Thought I might share it with yall.

“Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.” ~Jeffery R. Holland

Life is hard yall. That’s how it’s supposed to be because we’re here to learn and grow. But being cruel in ANY form does not aid ANYONE in that process in the slightest.

I really just wanna pull a page outta Paddington’s book and say

(pic found from Pintrest, if this is your work please let me know so I can tag you properly) Kia Ngāwari my friends 🧡

personably..... i think people on here are mean for no reason sometimes. and it makes everybody ELSE mean for no reason. cuz youre like... 'oh i like this guy and hes acting mean so im gonna behave like that'

and tbh i really hate it. i think if you have a big following you really should watch what you say, cuz like...... people wanna be RIGHT all the time. and they wont think anything through for themselves. mob mentality shit. i find if you act hostile you invite hostile. and if you display hostile, you make others follow suit.

if something enrages me thats a me problem. maybe i havent always done the right thing, maybe ive done things that dont align with what im saying now, but i think the desire to just jump down someones throat from the cringe reaction is bad. its like... cringing is from a kind of self disgust, a self loathing, a denial. thats why you cringe. youre seeing someone outwardly do something you would hate yourself doing. so youre mad at a stranger because of a desire to push something in yourself away. and then people copy your behaviour. what that persons doing probably isnt actually affecting you, so why are you SO bothered? you need to unpack that feeling. like ACTUALLY unpack it. acknowledge it. let it go.

i dont know if this makes any sense. i really just think some people are so fucking mean cuz they think theyre righteous. and thats always a dangerous line of thought.

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

“Casual” TMNT Fan

You know you're a fan of TMNT, when your CoUnSeLor sends you this pic while on her travels with the caption of “Look its your boys!”

Now, these aren’t my boys per se….but *whistles*

YO @luckycharms1701 and @anobodyinabog come get yer man! He’s wreaking havoc in a candy store while simultaneously being a snack!

Apparently for any of my traveling buddies, it’s at candy store in St. George, Utah FYI

Fallen

No…ok so listen *massages forehead* For the last time. I didn't “fall” in love. This was a premeditated attack!

I was tripped because let me tell you…I DiDnT fALl wILliNgLy!

This was not my fault! Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?!

So, I did a thing. *shrugs* Call it a fever dream or whatever BUT ITS TIME FOR VENGEANCE AGAINST ALL THE FANARTISTS WHO MAKE ME FEEL THINGS.

I have returned the favor. I hope y’all cry, or I didn’t do it right. 😈🙌🏼🔥

@funneylizzie I’m starting with you.

PS it’s written low key in stage directions because I may or may not comic it. Maybe. 😅😎👉🏼👉🏼

Based off of ROTTMNT Future Apocalypse: Enjoy

A Little Ninja’s Mission

Casey, the residential and most well loved 5 year old of the entire resistance base, wakes up in the middle of the night, hearing noises down the hall.

Being the ever brave little ninja that he is, Casey sneaks into the next room with his little hockey stick, trying to see who or what exactly has broken into their little underground sanctuary.

He’s surprised to see Adult Leo running through a series of exercises, progressively getting faster and more intense as the night continues.

Casey observes silently from the shadows, watching as Leo engages in battle over an invisible enemy, over and over again. With each swing of his katanas, the pure unfiltered rage burns in Leo’s eyes, causing little Casey to step back in fear at seeing his beloved sensei so unhinged.

When suddenly Leo stops and stands shakily on his feet, sweat dripping down his forehead, staring at something unseen before him. His katanas lower and the sound of haggard breathing can be heard.

Casey looks up in concern as his sensei suddenly drops to his knees, and the sound of wrenched weeping can be heard. Adult Leo drops his katanas with a clatter and curls into himself, the heels of his hands pressing into his eyes, as tears drip mournfully down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry…I’m s-so sorry…too late…always too late.”

Unsure on what to do when seeing his generally composed and confident sensei so shattered, Casey retreats back to his room, and stays awake for the rest of the night, unable to get the haunted look of Leo’s broken face out of his little head.

The next couple days, Casey doesn’t necessarily avoid Leo, but he does keep a watchful distance. He doesn’t talk with Leo when Leo tries to engage him with his teasing, but rather he pulls away to hide behind his mother, still observing Leo with a troubled little pout.

Leo notices, he has to. The safety of his little band of friends and family depends on his ability to quickly read and react to situations. However in his forever mental turmoil, Leo sadly believes that he deserves Casey’s shunning. He deserves all the pain. It’s his punishment for his failures, so he gives Casey his space and retreats further into himself.

His mother, observing Casey’s abnormal behavior, pulls him to the side one day and bluntly asks, lightly rapping Casey’s forehead.

“Ok, Squirt. What’s cooking in that noggin of yours? You've been avoiding Master Leonardo all week. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Cassandra widens her eyes dramatically, and wiggles her fingers spookily.

“These momma eyes see everything.”

Casey looks at the floor, and remains silent. The slightly insolent behavior causes Cassandra to frown, her brows creasing in concern.

“Casey Jones. Look at me.” Cassandra says sternly. Casey only slightly shakes his head, a mirroring frown scrunching his tiny face.

Commander April O’Neil, who has been observing this interaction silently from the corner, pulls away from the wall and walks toward the Casey’s.

She smiles at Cassandra as if to say “I got this” and kneels down in front of tiny Casey, reaching out to ruffle his mess of black hair.

“Come on, Kiddo. Spill the beans.”

Little Casey’s hands tighten into fists, his shoulders start to tremble, but still he won’t look at April or his mom in the eyes. April rests a hand on his shoulder and prods gently.

“Casey…what’s wrong?”

A small sniffing can be heard, and Casey suddenly looks up, pleading in his eyes as he stares at Commander O’Neil and his Mom.

“Why is Master Leonardo so sad, Momma? Why does he cry by himself at night?”

April pulls her hand away in surprise and looks at Cassandra in shock. They both stare at each other for a moment, registering what that means, before Cassandra’s eyes lower and quietly says,

“So he’s doing it again...”

April pulls back slightly to massage the bridge of her nose with frustrated growl.

“I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s been so recluse these past couple of weeks. He’s acting almost like D-“ April stops herself and mournfully clears her throat before continuing, “His insomnia hasn’t been this bad since…since the accidents.”

She says with a small sigh. Little Casey looks up tearfully between April and his mom, confused at their reactions and reaches out to plaintively pull on Cassandra’s hand.

“Why is Master Leo sad, Momma? What’s wrong?!”

Cassandra looks at April, who smiles solemnly, and let’s out a sigh herself. She lowers herself to the ground and opens her arms to Casey. He immediately runs into them and wraps his arms around her middle, sniffing. Cassandra cradles Casey, pulling him close to her chest.

She’s silent for a minute, rocking her baby slowly before taking a deep breath and saying softly,

“Hey Squirt, you remember Slash? Your one favorite stuffed tortoise that you'd carry around with you everywhere? “

Little Casey stills at the name and shakes his head yes. Cassandra pulls back a little bit and lowers her forehead to his, making eye contact with him.

“Do you remember how sad you were when we lost him during our last evacuation? You cried for a lot of nights after that because you missed him. You loved him so much that it didn’t feel like home without him right?”

Cassandra doesn’t wait for Casey’s response before pulling back so she could rest her head on top of his, stroking his hair absently as she looks somewhere far into the distance.

“Master Leonardo is very sad right now because he lost some people very close to him. They were kinda like his Slashs.”

Casey is quiet for a minute, his little hands tightly grasping the cloak at his mother’s back. He turns upward slightly while listening to his mom before whispering quietly,

“His brothers?”

Cassandra’s hand freezes right above Casey’s head and she glances at Commander O’Neil who sits next to them, with the sheen of tears in the corner of her eyes.

Cassandra lets out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping, and she tightens her hold on Casey ever so slightly.

“Yes, some of Master Leonardo’s brothers. They’re not coming back, and he cries because he misses them. He misses them a lot, and he doesn’t feel at home without them.”

Little Casey chews on his mom’s words for a second before suddenly pulling back to look excitedly at his Mom.

“It’s sad that Master Leo doesn’t have all his brothers anymore, but … he has us doesn’t he? He doesn’t have to be without a home; w-we could be his family!

Tears well up in Cassandra’s eyes at the innocence in her son’s eyes, and she glances over at April who leaned forward to rustle Casey’s hair again. She grins, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

“You’re right, Kiddo. He does have us.”

Cassandra sniffs, refusing to show such uncontrolled emotion in front of her child, and leans forward to smirk at Casey.

“What do you say, Squirt? Do you think you could be our little ninja and help remind Master Leonardo that he isn’t alone?”

Casey looks up at his mom with an emphatic determined nod.

“You can count on me.”

Casey, determined to fulfill his ninja mission, prepares all the rest of the day. When night time finally approaches, Casey is shaking with anticipation. He was going to remind Master Leo tonight if it was the last thing he did!

He arms himself with the biggest blanket and the biggest stuffed animal that he had claimed after searching through the random boxes they had stored at the base.

The blanket was once a dark, rich, violet color but had now turned grey with all the dust and grime from constant travel. However if one looked hard enough, they could see the slight greyed-white markings of what looked to be scientifically formulas spread all across the blanket.

The stuffed animal was a faded pink teddy bear that had obviously seen better days. One of its button eyes was missing, and it had a shredded right arm that was barely holding on. There was a little tag on it’s rump with the letters R H smeared in red marker. It was almost as big as Casey was, and he had to struggle to pull it and the enormous blanket into the next room where he sat in wait for Master Leonardo to come.

It didn’t take long. Within the next couple minutes, Leo walks into the room, his steps heavy and slow. He leans against the wall, his chest rising and falling with shaky breaths. He has his eyes closed in a grimace, slowly hitting his head against the wall before schooling his face and reaching up to pull his two Katanas out of their sheathes on his back.

“Master Leo?”

Leo freezes at the sound of Casey’s little voice and whirls around brandishing his two Katanas in surprise.

“C-Casey? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?! Is everything alright?!”

Leo’s words slur together as his eyes frantically search for danger in the room, his katanas weaving to and fro with each jilted movement.

Casey flinches back at having Leo’s frenzied actions pointed at him. His feet stumble back, as he trips over the massive blanket that was pooled on the floor. He lands on his bum and looks up at Leo with wide eyes.

Leo pulls back sharply with an ache in his heart as he sees the slight fear in Casey’s eyes. He lets out a disheartened sigh and sheathes his katanas. Leo drops to one knee with a little side smile, and holds out his one normal hand in what he hopes is a nonthreatening manner.

“Hey there, Bud. What are you doing up so late? Did you have a bad dream?”

Casey just stares at Leo for a minute before remembering his purpose and quickly shakes his head. He scrambles to his feet and folds his arms with a stubborn frown, trying to look serious. Which honestly backfired because it makes his bottom lip stick out making him look unfairly adorable.

“Nuh uh. I’m here on a mission.”

Leo blinks in surprise, titling his head with a confused smile on his face.

“A…mission?”

Casey nods emphatically, and reaches down to pull the giant teddy bear and blanket into his arms. He staggers forward, straining with all his little might to try and reach Leo.

Leo watches with an amused smirk at Casey’s attempt to carry the heavy load for only a moment before deciding to take pity on him. He reaches forward to pluck the blanket and teddy bear from Casey’s arms and sits down with his back against the wall to place them in his lap.

Casey isn’t too far behind them. He immediately crawls onto Leo’s lap and flops heavily against him as only small dramatic children can do. The toll of staying up and dragging his weight causing Casey to get sleepy.

Leo chuckles and wraps one arm around Casey, lifting the stuffed animal to shake it him.

“And what little mission is that, Bud? To bring me this-“

Leo freezes as he gets a real good look at the stuffed animal, his eyes widening as he glances at the shredded arm, the one button eye and the all too familiar scrawl on tag. He recognizes this bear. Leo’s breath hitches. This…this was Raph’s teddy bear!

Leo stares at the teddy bear, not sure if he was seeing things clearly and then slowly back at Casey who watches him with concerned eyes.

“Casey…where did you get this?” Leo asks with a strangled voice.

Casey’s brows pull in worry at Leo’s pained voice. He starts hiccuping and leans forward to wrap his arms tightly around Leo’s middle.

“I don’t want you to be sad, Master Leo. I thought a stuffed animal would help you feel less lonely. I know my stuffies do. ”

Leo looks down at Casey in shock, trying to figure out if Casey knows what this teddy bear means. Who’s teddy bear this is, but his focus was elsewhere as Casey’s little body trembles slightly as he hugs Leo, tears slowly running down his face and onto Leo’s war dirty plastaron.

“You’re not alone, Master Leo. You never have been.”

Leo bites his lip at the words, and feels the all too familiar pain within his heart roar to life. He closes his eyes against the ache in his eyes that always precedes the tears.

Leo reaches down to pull the giant blanket around himself and little Casey’s shoulders to help ground himself. He stops only for a moment, glancing at the dusty violet fabric in his hand when he recognizes the markings on the blanket.

Donnie.

Leo has to bite back a broken laugh. Even with his brothers gone, they once again left physical reminders of their presence, reminding him that they were never really gone.

He curls protectively around Casey, hugging him closely to himself as he haggardly whispers the words,

“You’re right, Bud. Anatawa hitorijanai. I-…I’m not alone. We’re never alone. ”

They stay that way together for the rest of the night. Casey slowly relaxing as he falls asleep in the safety of the arms of his sensei, his lazy measured little breaths matching Leo’s slow drumming heartbeat.

And for the first time in a long time, Leo sleeps soundly through the whole night. His little guardian angel, his twin’s blanket and his big brother’s teddy bear, all tightly, tenderly wrapped up by his side.

Hope, as fragile and yet steadfast as she was, had been reignited.

Looks like the little ninja fulfilled his mission after all.

Again I am finding more and more evidence that Donnie and I would be the best of friends because I would totally do this.

Actually I DO this. You should see me in the morning at work 😆🧡🤌🏼💜

i got a bit lazy at the end and i’m no animator but hey this was fun and i hope yall enjoy it too xD

I have no words for this…this is what I want to say…this is what NEEDED to be said… my heart is literally healing over reading this

Aftermath Family Meeting 4 | //squishes them all in my hands T_T

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