YOU DID NOT—

This had me rolling for ten minutes straight Lmao. Made my day <33

Crows as random google search suggestions part 3 (1 | 2)

I write a fanfiction about Kaz having a sister in Wattpad, named Adjala Brekker. And I just got the craziest idea. Kaz is always the baby sitter for Adjala's kids so why not write headcannons?

So I just made a few headcannons about Kaz babysitting his niece Jordan, and his two nephews Johannes and Kaz jr.

( Everytime you see a mom approved, it means the kids' mother approves of the activity )

1. "Uncle Kaz's House of Schemes": Kaz turns babysitting into a series of elaborate games and puzzles for the kids. It's like a mini heist every time they visit, complete with clues and riddles to keep them entertained. (Mum approved)

2. Kaz's version of "nap time" is "quiet planning time": When it's time for the kids to take a nap, Kaz uses this opportunity to quietly plan his next big scheme. He's convinced they're the perfect cover for his brainstorming sessions. (Mum approved)

3. Candy heist training: Kaz teaches the kids the fine art of candy heists, complete with disguises, diversion tactics, and a secret candy stash. They're the most resourceful trick-or-treaters in Ketterdam. (Mum not approved)

4. The "Ingenious Bedtime Routine": Kaz has a knack for getting kids to bed without fuss. His secret? He tells them thrilling stories about his heists until they're too excited to stay awake. (Mum approved)

5. Tiny suits and dresses: Kaz insists that the kids wear tiny suits and dresses, just like him, when they go out together. It's a comical sight seeing them dressed as miniature versions of him. (Hehe definitely mum approved)

6. Teaching the art of negotiation: Kaz imparts his negotiating skills to the kids, coaching them on how to haggle with street vendors for the best deals on toys and treats. They quickly become savvy little traders. They negotiate with daddy alot too, and their daddy always falls for this (Their dad hates this, so mum approved)

7. The "Kaz Jr. Inheritance Fund": Kaz secretly sets up a savings account for each of the kids, earmarking it as their "inheritance." He insists they learn about managing their finances from an early age. (Uncle Jes and Mumma approved)

8. "The Kaz Bunker" (my fav) : In the event of a "Kaz-sized emergency," he's built a secret bunker (a well-fortified blanket fort) in the living room. It's the perfect hiding spot for epic pillow fights and strategizing. (There's photo evidence -Inej) [mum approved - Kaz's sister]

9. Poker night (ft. Uncle jes, Daddy and uncle Wy) : Kaz introduces the kids to poker night, using candies as chips. It's all in good fun until Jesper's uncanny ability to bluff leaves Kaz Jr and Johannes with an empty stash of candy, while Jordie has a whole lot to herself. Wylan always gives his candy to Kaz jr in the end. Elijah (the kids' dad) sits their and sticks his tongue out to his brother in-law whenever he wins, only to me met by the Lethal Brekker sibling glower. (The mother doesn't aprove of this, their dad does tho)

10. Lessons in lockpicking (childproof, of course): Kaz teaches the kids the basics of lockpicking, with a set of child-friendly locks and tools. They think it's just a game, but it's secretly a life skill. (The parents don't aprove since candy is always being stolen from the kitchen)

11. Kaz and naps : when the kids' parents get back from date night of smth, they see uncle Kaz and the kids in the Kaz Bunker fort, or all of them on the ground, surrounded my toys and Kaz is laying flat on his stomach and Kaz jr is snoozing on top of him and Jordan and Johannes are snoozing in the corner. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the bastard of the barrel gets his sleep. (Inej has photo evidence) [Daddy and mumma approved]

12: Lifeskills (ft. Uncle Matty, aunty 'nej and aunty Ninny) : so Kaz gets his gang together to preach Lifeskills to his nephews and niece. Uncle Matty adores the mini demjins. Aunty 'nej takes them in sea trips (Aunty ninny brings the snacks) [ pappa and mumma approved]

13. Shark stare classes 101: in which Kaz teaches his little trainees the signature bombastic side eye and shark like stare, along with the lethal Brekker glower, which always has the kids' dad running for the HILLS, cuz they look like his scary wife and terrifying brother in law. (Daddy and Mumma approved ladies and gentlemen)

A fanfic for this :

Tumblr

Kaz brekker's baby sitting

CONTEXT ; adjala brekker is kazs adopted sister (and shes suli) and elijah rollins is Pekkas illegitamate disowned son (adjalas husband) and

I'm tagging a few of the biggest SoC enthusiasts I know : @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @marsconer

SHADOW AND BONE HAS BEEN CANCELLED 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I AM SO DEPRESSED NO ONE TALK TO ME

I HATE NETFLIX 😭😭😭😭

THIS HAPPENED TO EVERY GOOD SHOW

For example: Anne with an E

COME ON

WHAT DID THE CROWS EVER DO TO YOU 😭😭😭

THE FACT THAT THIS SHOW IS GONNA BE FORGOTTEN AND THAT THE GRISHAVERSE MAGIC IS GONNA BE REPLACED BY SOMEONE ELSE BREAKS MY HEART 💔💔

SAVE SHADOW AND BONE

SAVE THE FANDOM'S SANITY

NO MOURNERS, NO FUNERALS

My wife number three y'all 💗

thea calligaris ~ the inheritance games

this one is for @nqds

#3 : Wylan and Jesper

They're the same people your honour

Tags: @bookworm-center @wraith--2 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @she-posts-nerdy-stuff

Am I the only one who thinks Kaz Brekker is like the boss baby??

@jccatstudios @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @bookworm-center @wraith--2

My lesbian ships in a nutshell

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

*Evelyn and Celia having sex in the bathroom at the oscars*

Evelyn: Anyways, let me present to you guys my new husband

Malice

*Aurora shows Alyce kindness and love then proceeds to get herself cursed*

Alyce: I guess I'll lose my mind and become evil now

She Who Became the Sun

Zu: See this hand? It can do many things

Ma: Interesting

The Priory of The Orange Tree

Sabran: Look at me, the gods are protecting me. I really AM god blessed

Ead: *brushing away her sweat after saving Sabran's ass for nth time* yeah, sweetie. You go girl

Gideon the Ninth

Gideon: Go choke on a dick. One flesh, one end, bitch

Harrow: Yeah, but how about I fuck up my frontal lobe just so you can stay here longer

The Jasmine Throne

Malini: *touches Priya's cheek*

Priya: *internal gay screaming*

SoC situation

this is just a theory / situation. No hate

So what if Jordie lived, and what if he thought Kaz was dead and one fine day, he walks back into ketterdam and finds out his Lil dead bro is the BASTARD OF THE BARREL, Mafia bitch and goth emo kid. I mean, if I were him, I'd probably faint and die. Wut would u do ???

KANEJ SCREAMING AHHHHHHHH

MY KANEJ HEART 💖💕💖💕💖

Ahem don’t mind me…

Wild Geraniums

INEJ GHAFA X FEM!READER

Fluff/ cute stuff.

Inej coming out to the crows when she's dating u :)

Warnings : mentions of Sexual abuse, sexual slavery, girlxgirl, Y/N is a girl. Lesbian relationship. (I'm not good @ writing warnings so basically if u read SoC and got out fine you can read this)

Inej P.O.V

The wraith.

The name whispered amoung the ranks of the Dregs had now been given to her beloved boat.

Inej sighed contently as she looked out at the blue sea before her.

The breeze knitted a soft braid into her dark hair, the sea salt scented winds filled her senses as her eyes fell on the city which was Ketterdam.

The crows had organised a little meeting, after a few years of not seeing eachother together, this was finally a week of rest, relaxation and fun for Inej. She wouldn't be going out to sea anymore. For a mont atleast.

Nina and Matthais had planned for the group to visit their house in Fjerda. Inej was thrilled to meet their son, who would be turning one this year. Jesper wanted to take them to meet his Da, Colm Fahey, whom Inej missed in all her travels. She was eager to see how Kaz had expanded the crow club. Wylan wanted to tour all over Shu Han and Ravka, and Inej wasn't one to object.

Inej laughed thinking of all the fun they'd have.

“Captain! We prepare to anchor?” a familiar voice perked up from behind Inej. She felt two arms wrap around her waist.

She knew who it was.

Y/N Y/L/N, her most trusted travel companion and most importantly—

Girlfriend

“ofcourse my love.” Inej laughed.

“Inej!” Jesper exclaimed, running toward the girl as she walked through the familiar doors of the crow club.

“Jes!” yelled Inej as Jesper twirled her in the air.

“Good to see you back, wraith, or should I say, captain Ghafa.” rasped Kaz from beside him, extending a gloved hand.

“Good to see you too, Kaz.” replied Inej, taking his hand in hers.

Inej's heart bubbled at the sight of her two brothers, or the closest thing she had to them.

“Where are Nina and Matthais?” she asked.

“They arrived a about thirty minutes ago. Wylan went to pick them up.” answered Jesper.

“Are they bringing their son?”

“I think they are. Not sure.” Kaz scratched the back of his head.

“Inej, my love, where do I put my luggage?” huffed Y/N as she pulled in a huge chest like suitcase.

“My love? Who is she, Inej?” asked Jesper, repeating Y/N’s words in shock.

Inej turned to Kaz, face flushing furiously, hoping to see disappointment of some sort. But instead, she found him grinning madly from ear to ear.

He wore a look. A look which asked , ‘are you both together? When ? Where? How? Tell me.’

Inej smiled shyly.

“I thought I'd tell you all. Together.”

“Tell us what together?” Called Wylan from the doorway.

“Wylan!” Inej cheered.

The boy barreled toward her, wrapping her up in a tight hug.

“We. Have. So. Much. To. Talk about!” squealed Wylan, squeezing Inej's palms.

“Inej! There's my favourite pirate!” before Inej could process, Nina Zenik had her engulfed in her welcoming arms, joined by Matthais Helvar and a certain little child.

“Nina! Saints, it's been long!” Inej chuckled, wiggling out of the corpse witch’s grip.

“Okay okay! We need to go out for waffles! That's a must!” yelled Nina. “And this, is Feliks Sven Helvar, my adorable little boy.” Nina held up a small child.

“Hello, Little one.” cooed Inej, holding out her finger for the infant, who gladly took it.

He was an adorable tiny blend of Nina and Matthais. He had Matthais’s Fjerdan nose, and Nina's Ravkan warm forest green eyes. He had ombre hair, blonde locks like his father, which were brown at the roots like his mother's.

“So, Inej here, has a little something to tell us.” Jesper cleared his throat and gestured between Inej and Y/N.

“Oh! Who's this?” asked Wylan.

“ I'm Y/N Y/L/N, part of Inej's amazing crew.” grinned the girl, sinking into a bow.

“ And, my girlfriend.” said Inej, wrapping her arm around Y/N's waist.

Y/N's expression was shocked. Are you sure about this? She mouthed uncertainty.

It's not that you were embarrassed of your relationship. You were very affectionate, leaving springs of wild Geraniums in Inej's cups, her hats, and her books. Buying her thoughtful gifts. Hugging her and cuddling her whenever you got the chance to. But Inej knew the fact why you cast her that look.

No one knew about their relationship. So far, only a few among their crew and Inej's parents knew.

Inej was scared about how the crows would react about her intrest in girls, she hoped that something bad wouldn't happen.

Y/N was shipped from a few brothels and bawds before Inej freed her. She had no family. Her trauma probably lead her to fear what others might think of her being not so straight.

Inej faced the same fear. She knew the crows wouldn't be mad or weird about her interests. But saints, Inej had to worry.

“Oh my saints! We need to celebrate! With waffles ofcourse.” Nina cut the silence.

Jesper was the first to laugh. The others followed. Even Kaz let out a small chuckle.

“ Welcome to the family Y/N Y/L/N.” Said Jesper, pulling you into a hug.

“ We're so happy to meet you.” Wylan joined the hug.

Soon, Inej saw her whole group of friends, including Kaz, coddled around a very happy Y/N.

“Thank you f-for accepting me.” said Y/N, voice no higher than a whisper.

Inej looked at her girlfriend with happy tears in her eyes.

Y/N lunged forward into Inej's arms. Inej returned the gesture with a kiss on her forehead.

“Waffles.” Nina perked up.

“ Yes Nina. Waffles.” Kaz rolled his eyes. “Tell me how you took care of her while pregnant? Is this how your tree god paid you for my tree jokes?” he asked Matthais.

The Fjerdan let out a booming hearty laugh, starting the child in his arms.

“So, Y/N.” Jesper began, bouncing from one foot to another. “ What is Inej's favourite flower?” he raised a brow.

“ Wild Geraniums.” replied Y/N, pulling out a spring of the said flower from her pockets.

“This calls for a celebration!” yelled Wylan.

The rest of the crows smiled, nodding in agreement.

@lunarthecorvus , KRISTOFF is perfect. I can't find someone for nina tho. I also think Matthias would be Ferdinand the bull from Ferdinand the Disney movie. Help me with nina pls

Am I the only one who thinks Kaz Brekker is like the boss baby??

@jccatstudios @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @bookworm-center @wraith--2