the history students
hanging photos of ancient monuments on your walls
memorizing dates, creating a timeline in your mind’s eye
slow violin music
browsing wikipedia late at night
learning the constellations and wondering how many people have looked at them before you
crumbling buildings and faded paper
adding detail in the margins of your textbooks for the stuff they left out
soft sweaters and messy hair
pages of notes, written and underlined and studied again and again
watching documentaries for fun
analyzing primary sources, picking apart biases from fact
a cup of herbal tea on the desk, keeping you grounded
a hunger to understand all that has gone before you
sunsets that turn the sky the golden color of aged parchment
collecting biographies of your favorite historical figures, piling them on your shelf
treasured family heirlooms
notes written in fountain pen, hands stained with ink
visiting the same museum exhibits over and over, knowing there’s always more to learn
studying by candlelight
thick textbooks spread out across your desk
treating history as a cautionary tale, turning pages of notes into lessons for the future
-the end-
I started reading The Secret History because I fell into the trap that is dark academia (a very good trap indeed), but I had actually heard of the it before and only by seeing the cover of the book had I recalled one of the most poignant memories of my recent life.
Some moons ago, past midnight on a September evening, I was sitting on the floor in the bedroom of a boy I so greatly admired. He sat on the end of his bed with his head between his knees and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was recovering from one too many drinks, as a few hours prior, my friend and I were helping him get home from a party and forcing him to drink water so he wouldn’t die from alcohol poisoning. She had already left, leaving the two of us alone, him sobering up. From his phone speakers, classical music played, and he spoke to me about songs I would like, as well as book recommendations. He then said something about the book he was reading at the time, and that I’d like it very much, but I couldn’t make out who the author nor the title from what he was saying as he had his head between his knees. Nor could I pay proper attention because although I don’t drink, I was in a drunken stupor of being alone in his presence.
It was some moments later that he shuffled over and made a gesture for me to sit next to him. And so I did, and he wrapped his blanket around the two of us and rested his head on my left shoulder. I don’t remember if either of us had said a word, but the music kept playing. Two pieces remain with me: Gymnopédie No. 1 by Erik Satie, and Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire. I almost cried because of how truly happy I felt.
Nothing more happened between us that night. He fell asleep on my shoulder, and I had to go home. But before leaving I noticed that the book he was talking about was on his nightstand. A book none other than The Secret History by Donna Tartt. “… [A] group of clever, eccentric misfits at an elite New England college discover a way of thinking and living that is a world away from the humdrum existence of their contemporaries … ”
He was right. I did enjoy the book. As for him and I, that’s another story that I won’t delve into. It’s one that pertains more to tragedy than comedy.
I had a nice Saturday morning studying Latin.
I also finished my notes on ‘Caliban and the Witch’ and let me tell you, there’s nothing better than a good scoop of feminist Marxist theory to start the day.
It feels so joyous to be allowed back in cafe’s again. (x) if you choose to repost these images, credit me using the source in the link provided.
Forehead Touch || The Goldfinch (2019)
47/100 • 11/05/2020 ❣️ this adorno chapter is taking me an eternity to read....its fascinating but such slow going. i’m also starting to burn out as the semester winds to a close. i still have the majority of my assessments to go, and cannot wait to be over the finish line.
Reading...
Paul Éluard, Victory of Guernica (Trans. by Wallace Fowlie)
Good Will Hunting (1997) dir. Gus Van Sant